Starting Again
by AutumnOtts
Summary: A year after Edward leaves Bella in the woods she is at Washington state starting her college career, when fate steps in bringing them together once again, but will it be too late?
1. Chapter 1

**Ok guys this is my first story and I am not really sure how good I am going to be at this, so be thorough in your reviews, and try to be as kind as you can. **

**Ok this story takes place 1 year after Edward leaves Bella in the woods. She is now a college student on her way to a degree in literature, maybe becoming a librarian or a teacher she isn't decided.**

**Also I do not own anything Twilight I just wanted to experiment with these lovely characters.**

Bella POV

I looked around my new surroundings and sighed looking into the teary eyes of my father Charlie. "Dad don't worry I am an hour away from you in Forks, I will come see you all the time; remember I feel it is my duty to make sure that you eat a meal that didn't come out of a cardboard box in a plastic tray." I tried to give him my most serious look with that being said. He just laughed and choked back the tears a little more. He walked over and gave me a full on hug, to say I was shocked would be an understatement. " I love you Bella, and if you say we will see each other all the time I believe you.

I walked Charlie to his cruiser and gave him a tearful farewell. I turned to look at the large building that I now would call home while attending Washington State.

I returned to my dorm room and looked around and felt more alone than I had in almost a year, just the thought made the hole in my chest ache violently. I gripped my sides and silently told myself that I just needed time and a new life and the pain would go away. Who am I kidding the pain was never going to go away. I shook the dark thoughts from my mind and started unpacking. I was thankful my roommate hadn't checked in yet so that I could get the most comfortable bed and set up all of my things without interference.

When I checked in the RA (residence assistant) in my wing told me my roommate was going to be late so my first night would be solo. While I unpacked I came across a box I know that I didn't pack, and when I opened it felt like the world crumbled inside the box were my old collection of Jane Austen stories, my beaten copy of Wuthering Heights, and the one story I hoped to never see again Romeo and Juliet. On top of these books was a folded piece of paper, I opened it and read "Bella honey I know that you have a hard time with these, but I know that deep down they mean a lot to you and I hope someday you won't hold what happened against these helpless classic stories, sorry if I mad you sad. Love Dad" I sighed and let the tears flow silently while I thought about the words written on the paper. He was right it wasn't their fault it was _his _fault, I still couldn't bring myself to say that name that would send me into hysterics. I sobbed as I flipped open Wuthering Heights, and there it was just where I had hidden it, like I knew what was coming. In front of my eyes was the photo I had taken of Edward on my birhtday, ouch I thought his name now here comes the pain, the photo he didn't know that I had hidden in my book, it was the duplicate of the one he took so that it would be as if he never existed. As I looked at this for the first time since he left, I could see how flawed my memory was, and here in front of me was the picture of perfection, of the love I never really had, and there it echoed in my mind again "your no good for me" I flinched again. I quickly placed the photo back in the book and tried desperately to think of anything else. Then I felt the strangest vibration, oh crap my phone.

Charlie had insisted along with self-defense classes that I carry a cell phone at all times, being a cop makes him a little overprotective. "hello" I said trying desperately to hide the sadness in my voice. "Hey Bells, did you get moved in ok?" Just hearing the husky familiar voice lightened my mood. "yeah Jake I got moved in and unpacked. What's up?" This time I didn't need to try to sound happy I really was, Jake always lifted my spirits. How is he so good at being there right when I am sinking? "I just wanted to make sure that you and Charlie got everything taken care of, I am really sorry I couldn't help you, but Sam had me running double patrols for the past week to make sure everything was safe before we go back to school." I could hear the annoyance in his voice about having to go back to school. "So did your dad finally tell you that you had to finish high school now and not later?" I gave him my most supportive voice. "No, would you believe that it was Sam he used his alpha order on me, Quil, Embry, Paul, and Jared. The younger guys wanted to go back to school but not us. I was so pissed. But whatcha gonna do?" I could hear Jake roll his eyes as he said this. "oh well Jake it will give you time to rest you know sleep in class and all." I laughed while I said this know full well that if he fell asleep in class everybody would know his snores would be heard throughout the small school he went to. "HA HA very funny Bella" He laughed as he said this so I knew he wasn't really mad. "I am really sorry to cut you off Jake but I really need a shower after all the moving and I am beat so I am off to bed after that" I knew that if sleep did come for me tonight so would the pain and nightmares I brought on myself by looking at that damed photo. "Sure, sure Bella, have a good night. Oh yeah will it be ok if I come to see you in you big bad college this weekend Same said he would have my patrols assigned to the young guys?" His voice was mixed with excitement, and doubt when he asked this. "of course Jake that would be great, I really miss you." I wanted him to know that I loved being around him, then I felt sad because I knew I didn't want him the way he wanted me. "unless that would be weird for you because....you know" Jacob sighed heavily "No Bella it isn't weird it is still hard but I haven't given up yet." I felt like the room was spinning "I really wish you would Jake, and fine a girl that will appreciate you the right way." When he spoke after several long minutes I could hear the tears he was trying to hide " you know Bella I might actually do that someday, and I don't think you will like it as much as you think. I will be there Friday at 6 p.m. email me directions. I gotta go now have a good first week of college." He was quiet and I heard a whisper and I am pretty sure I wasn't meant to hear the words "you are killing me Bella, why do I love you anyway?" Then in a tone I was meant to hear he quickly said goodbye. Damn it why do I keep hurting him, and why did his whispered words feel like I had gotten hit with a branding iron.

I had about enough of my depressing day, so I grabbed my shower caddy, towel, robe and shower shoes and flounced angrily to the shower. The hot shower helped relax my muscles and relieve the pain that moving had put in them, but it didn't take the pain away from my constant ache and the slight burn from Jacob's words. I got back to my room, and decided to give into my exhaustion. I was now glad after the evening I had that I wouldn't have a roommate for the night to intrude upon what I knew was going to be a bad night of sleep, and I also knew at the end the screaming would come.


	2. Chapter 2

**First thank all of you for your reviews on my first chapter. I know the first chapter didn't give much away but I will get there very soon my darlings. **

**Once again I down own anything twilight just my ideas.**

Bella POV

I looked around the unfamiliar dark surroundings, my heart was pounding, and as I slowly realized where I was the terror brought on by my nightmare slowly subsided. I looked over at my alarm clock and it read 4:47 a.m. Then I heard a strange tapping noise, and I realized that somebody was quietly knocking on my door. "um hold on a sec" I said realizing that my voice was overcome with tears and grief. I grabbed my robe and threw it on, and wiped my face realizing that it was tear soaked. I opened to door and standing there was my extremely tall and muscular RA "Isabella are you ok? I was doing my last rounds in the wing for the night and I heard terrified screaming come from your room." Her face was full of real concern. I took a deep breath and could feel the blush burn into my cheeks. "I'm really sorry I talk in my sleep and when I have nightmares I scream out loud. I'm so sorry I hope I didn't disturb anybody else." I looked both directions down my long hall and didn't see anybody peeking out to see where the freak that was screaming was at, and so then I felt a little relieved. "Ok Isabella I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Thanks for telling me something that I am sure was difficult for you" I sighed I needed to put an end to the Isabella nonsense immediately. 'Thanks Christy, but please call me Bella." She looked a little surprised but then she smiled sweetly and said "Ok Bella, have a good night I hope you sleep better." Then she walked away and I was alone again.

I laid back in bed trying not to think about the dream that made me scream. I remember the darkness as always, but this time _his_ face floated by and I kept hearing his words over and over, "It will be as if I never existed". Then I heard another voice a husky deep voice say "why do I love you?" The two voices mixed together and and made the darkness push onto me and I felt like I was suffocating. Then I screamed to make it stop, and that was when I awoke.

I finally fell back into a dreamless sleep thankfully for the others that slept within hearing range. My alarm clock buzzed the most annoying sound I had ever heard, and I knew deep down that my first day of college was going to rough.

I didn't need to take a shower since I had done so before bed, so I spent 20 minutes picking out my outfit. Felling sad and amused I thought how making the same choice would have taken Alice 30 seconds. I pulled on a tight pair of hip hugger jeans, and a blue v-neck blouse. I then threw on my trusty pair of Doc's knowing full well that would have sent Alice into a tissy fit. I then looked at my clock and realized it was only 6:45 a.m. so I went to my mirror and curled my hair in big bouncing curls. I then realized my face didn't match the rest of me, it was sallow and pale and the dark circles under my eyes made me look...well....like a vampire, not a good looking one but still. So I searched my drawers and found the rarely used make-up and tried to hide what the past year had done to my looks. Once finished and satisfied that I didn't resemble a corpse I went to my mini fridge and grabbed an orange and a small bottle of milk. Once finished with my breakfast I gathered my books and schedule, and threw on my brown raincoat and walked out into my new life.

I looked down at my schedule for the day and sighed, my 8 a.m. class was freshman english. I found the building number, and looked at the map realizing that I would need to take the campus bus to the other side of campus. As I rode the bus to my morning destination I looked at all the classes I had today. English 101, Psychology 101, History 101, and lastly Biology 101. Looking at the schedule I shook my head knowing that none of these classes would have anything I haven't learned and done before. I couldn't understand why the first semester of college was mandatorily a review of high school. The bus stopped, and I took a deep breath as prepared to enter the college world.

I walked into my english class and quickly found a seat in the middle of the class, and glanced around. There were about 60 desks in the large room, this would be hard to get used to. On the desk I sat in was this semester's syllabus. I looked to the front of the room and saw a blonde curly haired lady in her forties wearing a very hippyish outfit. She was a kind looking lady but I could tell just from looking at her that she was going to be a fan of the classical romances. With that thought I searched through the outline of the course, SHIT, the first month was going to be all about Shakespeare and of course the first play we would work with was Romeo and Juliet. I dropped my head onto the desk fighting the urge to run from the room screaming. Why oh why does the world hate me so much. I don't really remember how the next hour and a half went by I know most of it was an introduction, Professor Jones was animated about going over the syllabus, but I just couldn't bring myself to think about it. I was so lost in trying not to think I almost missed her dismissal of the class. I heard all the chairs and looked up, and quickly followed suit. As I walked out the door I whispered to myself "one down three to go".

It wasn't hard finding my next class it was in the next building, the hour and a half I spent there was uneventful my psychology professor Dr. Lucas did the same review of the syllabus. I then knew that the rest of my day would be the same. I had two hours before history so I walked around campus and eventually stopped at the cafeteria and had lunch, oh man college food is worse than Charlie's cooking. After forcing down the nasty food I headed to history, and not to my surprise it went by just the same as my other two classes had. Professor Earlson had the most montone voice I had ever heard, I wasn't overly interested in history in the first place and with that boring voice I knew this was going to be a difficult class to survive. It was 4 p.m when I got out of the torture of reviewing the history syllabus. I only had ten minutes to reach my biology class so I had to walk at a much faster rate than safe for me; of course I tripped and became the object of snickers and stares.

I reached my biology class with six minutes to spare, so I relaxed as I walked to the auditorium sized classroom, this room could easily hold 300 people. Outside the door was a table with a sign saying to take one before entering. I grabbed the syllabus and sighed knowing what I was in store for the next two hours. As I walked in the door I read the name of the course and the professor's name. Dr. Carlisle Cullen. As soon as the words I read hit my mind I heard a very loud gasp. My mind was reeling and the pain was more unbearable than it had ever been. I turned to the direction the gasp had come from and my eyes locked onto the eyes of the most beautiful person I had seen in a year. He must have smelt me when I entered the room, that was why he gasped. I was locked into his gaze and then it hit me from deep inside all the emotions that I had tried to lock up came flooding through me with blinding speed and indescribable pain. I heard another gasp and then there was nothing. I was surrounded by darkness, and I felt like I was drowning in painful emotions. Then I heard the fatherly voice that shouldn't be so familiar "Bella, Bella dear, can you hear me?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok so I know I suck I just left that one hanging in the air. Sorry I couldn't resist. In this chapter I am going try changing to another characters point of view. This is a long chapter but a lot is happening so please be patient I think it is needed.**

**Once again I do not own anything Twilight I am just an enthusiast.**

Carlisle POV

I spent all of last night with a nervous feeling deep inside, I knew part of it was guilt that I had brought Edward and the rest of the family back so close to Forks where Bella could possibly be. I tired to desperately to keep my thoughts about how terrible I felt about bringing this pain back in to my dear son's life, but I also had to keep the thoughts at bay about how I felt that leaving Bella over a year ago was wrong. I am very excited to be doing a job I hadn't done before; being a college professor. I thought that maybe if I help others learn how to save lives I would save more people than before, therefore broadening the penance I serve for being the monster I never chose to be. I sighed as I looked around our new home, it was smaller than what we are accustomed to but in a big city house size is limited. I promised my dear Esme that would would buy a better place once we had time to find one. I heard the footsteps before I heard the knock and knew it was my beloved. "Come in my darling" I barely whispered but I knew that she could hear me. She entered my study with the most beautiful smile, and came over and hugged me tightly. "Well, hello professor how are you doing on this magnificent day?" She let out a very childish giggle while she spoke, "I bet that all the girls in your classes are going to have a really hard time study science while you are teaching." I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Well I guess I am just going to have to make the science more interesting than the man teaching it." She sighed, and I knew where her thoughts were. "I know Esme I am worried too, but you know how I think that all things happen for a reason, I don't think this job was an accident." She knew what I meant and she was trying to contain her thoughts as hard as we all were the past few weeks.

I headed down the hall and talked while I walked. "Well, I am off to my first day as a college professor, I want all of you to have a good day." Before I could reach the hall I heard Jasper call for me. "Dad, can you wait a minute?" I stopped and turned to see Jasper dressed nicely with a very nervous expression. "Yes Jasper?" He started to speak then stopped and started again. "Well, I was wondering since everybody else has had a chance to work with you in some way or another, and I think that this would be a good opportunity for me to start fully embracing this life. Could I be your assistant? You know help with your classes and grading." I stared at Jasper with what was probably the most astonished face and barely breathed my answer "Yes of course son, I would love to share my work with you. We will of course have to enroll you as a student and set that up but that can be done in an hour." Before I could say another word Jasper was pinned by the most enthusiastic hug I had ever seen, and for Alice this was quite the feat. "Oh Jazz I am so proud of you!!!" She yelled. I figured I would let them have their moment so I went back to my study and made all the calls needed to get Jasper set up for the first day.

I made my way to my office to print out my course syllabus' for the classes I had today. I would treat today the same as all professors an introduction of myself and the course material. I made it through my graduate level classes I only had two they were introductions to the medical practice, and I enjoyed them thoroughly. My job also included two undergraduate classes both freshman biology, these classes were back to back, so after my first biology class ended at 4p.m... I wasn't as excited to repeat what I had just said over again to another 150 students. Luckily I had Jasper there as my TA for both of these classes. I felt a wave of excitement hit me about 8 minutes before the next class would begin, and I looked over to see Jasper laughing to himself. I tried to muster the most serious face possible and I gave him a dirty look, I knew that he knew I wasn't really mad so we both laughed. "Thanks Jasper I could use a little excitement before I hit the repeat button for my lecture." He sighed and said "I know but you can make it original but the same that is one of your strong qualities." We continued our joking until a familiar scent burnt through me freesia lavender and strawberry shampoo, I know Jasper recognized it too he became stiff as a board. I looked at him and he looked back at me mirroring the shock I felt, and we both looked at the only entrance to the auditorium. There she was the girl that I loved just as if she were my own flesh and blood child, our Bella. I let out a gasp and so did Jasper. She turned towards us with the most shocked look I had ever seen, then in an instant she fell lifeless to the floor.

In my shock I moved faster than I should have but when I got to her side Jasper was already there picking her up off the cold tile floor. "Carlisle....what....oh my god you don't know the emotions....give me a second." While Jasper carried Bella to my office I assured the students that she would be ok, and dismissed the students that were there and left a note on the door for the ones who had yet to arrive. I hurried to my office and she was laying on the couch in the back, and Jasper was kneeling next to her dry sobbing. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder, "Jasper son, tell me what you are feeling what she was--- he interrupted me "what she IS feeling." My face fell and if I had a beating heat it would have stopped. "What do you mean, what she IS feeling?" "I don't understand Carlisle I have never felt emotion from an unconscious person before, but that's not the worst of it her emotions are stronger than any human I have ever felt before. Her pain is so extreme I can't bring myself to stand. I am most confused by the constant underlying emotion it is being unwanted and not good enough. Why would she feel that way especially when she saw you?" I paced at a slow rate and let all the thoughts run through my head, this was not the day I expected, but I imagine it wasn't the day Bella expected either. I edged around Jasper who was still paralyzed by the emotions pouring out of Bella. I placed my hand on her forehead and gently stroked her cheek "Bella, Bella dear can you hear me" I whispered in her ear. I could hear her heart and her breathing so I knew medically she was ok, but I knew once those brown eyes opened she was going to be in an unsafe emotional condition, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. I certainly didn't think Jasper could take much more. "Jasper, can you try to calm her?" "I have been but it feels like trying to hold back a flood with cheese cloth." I sighed "Keep trying we have to break through before she comes around." I knew this was hard on Jasper he held himself responsible for us leaving her the way that we did.

I stepped out of my office and was almost knocked over by the force of the person who walked into me. I looked down and saw a panic stricken Alice. "Oh my God Carlisle I didn't see it soon enough I am so sorry, is she alright?" I shook my head in response and saw her eyes glass over then she spoke with a somber tone "She will wake up in two minutes twenty six seconds, and it will be alright, but only if she only sees you and Jasper." I grabbed her arm before she could leave "Alice did he see your vision does Edward know that Bella is here and what happened in my class?" My voice was desperate but she held her hand up to calm me. "No he doesn't know I was at the mall when I saw it he was still locked in his room." She sighed heavily with her next words "I am not going to go home because I don't think I can hide this, I think I will go to our house in Forks until you figure out a way to work this out, just tell the others I went hunting alone, that I was sad." I nodded in agreement and swiftly returned to Bella's side and whispered once more "Bella, Bella dear can you hear me?"

Jasper stood up which meant that her emotions were more reigned in and I whispered in a tone only he would hear for him to go get her a soda and a candy bar because she needed to sugar to absorb the shock her system just felt. Just as Jasper re-entered the room she slowly opened her brown eyes and looked around in disbelief. She then sat bolt upright and I could tell from her face and Jasper's stance that realization had finally hit her. "What.....Why .....When....you guys.....gone...over a year...but." I raised my hand and she stopped the stammering. I handed her the soda and candy and finally spoke. "Bella I know your mind must be exploding right now but drink this and eat the candy it will help settle your system so that you have full control of your thoughts." She blinked at me and looked like she was going to speak but stopped and did what I asked. I could tell by her demeanor and Jasper's that she was calming down, and I was infinitely grateful for Jasper and his ability, without it I don't think she could survive this situation.

f

As I watched her eat and drink I became aware of the guilt I had inside, and could tell that Jasper was aware if not feeling the same way. He turned away from her and whispered in a tone only I would hear. "What we did was wrong we should have never left her like we did, we destroyed her. Edward was wrong, and so were we for following along." I nodded and let my guilt sweep me away. When I saw she was almost done eating I shook myself out of my guilt and came up with a tentative plan so that we wouldn't hurt her but also without bringing the world down on my unexpecting family.

"Bella dear how do you feel? I mean physically beyond the obvious?" I shifted nervously because I wasn't sure how ready I was for her answer. She took a deep breath and barely whispered "I feel ok I guess considering...." I looked thoughtfully in her eyes and I could see her mood shift. She stood up quickly with force and with great effort he voice boomed, "So, when you left you just came here within reach so that you guys were out of sight to me but not me from you? So what just keeping close so poor pathetic unwanted Bella didn't get herself into trouble?' Her voice broke and she was on her knees sobbing. I gently took her in a hug and decided that honesty was the only way to get her through, so I took a breath and told her as much as I could. "No, no dear that isn't what happened Esme, Alice, Jasper and I went back east, and the other kids took off on their own for a while, Edward convinced all of us that you would be safer and have a better life if we all stayed away, we really didn't want to leave you the way we did but we couldn't come up with any other option. Edward only came back to us last month, we hadn't seen him since the night he left to tell you goodbye. I got offered a job as a professor here and I thought it would be a great way to spread my good work, and I hoped too that time had healed you,even though we couldn't be sure if you would be in Forks which you obviously are not." I stopped an looked deeply into her hurt eyes, it didn't escape my attention that when I said Edward's name she flinched inward as if trying to protect her internal organs. "I know it does no good to say this, but now I see that were were dreadfully wrong to have left the way we did, and to have left you at all. Since that day our family has been missing a piece and that piece is you. We endured this because we thought well more that Edward thought you would be better off and safer without us, but now I can see we all suffered needlessly. None of us are better off not you and not our family and I say our because it is still your family too. The flickers of emotion I saw running through her eyes broke my resolve, and I held her tight and gave into my grief and sobbed tearlessly "Bella we all love you and miss you, I can't believe what we have done." I felt a wave of calm pass through me and I glanced gratefully at Jasper. Bella sat back down putting her face in her hands not hardly breathing, or moving. I heard Jasper sigh and knew he was buckling under all the emotions, but he did what I did not expect. He went kneeled in front of her taking her hands between his, and through tearless sobs he gave her his most sincere apology. "Bella I am so sorry this is all my fault I feel all of your pain and it in unbearable for me I can only imagine how it is killing you. I am so sorry if I had been in better control, if I had just thought more carefully, if I wasn't such a monster you wouldn't be suffering the way that you are now."

Bella got to her feet and looked at me with panic in her eyes, then she looked down at Jasper. She then kneeled next to him and took his hands and guided him to sit next to her on the black sofa. She turned to me to show that I was included in what she was going to say then squared with Jasper still holding his hands. Tears streaming down her face. "No Jasper it isn't and wasn't your fault don't you guys understand that I know and understand what you are and how your behavior can be? I don't think you would have hurt me I think in the end you would have made the choice to keep me safe. As for you being a monster you're not, if you were you wouldn't be here trying to comfort me when the safe comfortable thing would have been to leave me again to think what I saw was in my head. The part about you being the cause of my pain you couldn't be further off, your actions at my birthday had nothing to do with E.. Ed..Edward's reason for leaving. He told me when he left that it was because he didn't love me, he didn't want me, that I was no good for him, that it would be best as if all of you never existed at all." She broke while recalling this memory and Jasper gently hugged her sending as much calm to her as he could.

Jasper and I both looked at each other both knowing that what she was told was so far from being true it was absurd. I knew though that now was not the time to tell her that, but we had to ease her pain somehow. "Bella we all want you as a part of our family, and I mean all. We love you and care deeply about you and we never ever want you to believe otherwise." I knew that wasn't what I should be saying I should have been screaming that Edward loves her more than his own life, but I just couldn't not knowing what the consequences of that would be. She half smiled through her tears. "Thank you Carlisle I feel the same about all of you." She looked back and forth from Jasper and myself then asked the one question I was unsure how to answer. "E. Ed...Edward, does he know I am here? Why hasn't he come to see me? Why doesn't he love me?" The last question I knew she wasn't looking to have answered. I went to speak but Jasper beat me to it. "No Bella he doesn't know none of us knew until you walked through the door to biology, and I honestly don't know if it is a good idea for you two to see each other immediately, and hmpf I know the last question was a statement but I am answering it anyway. He does love you Bella he always has, and always will. I know that brings a million questions to mind but please give Carlisle and I time to put this right." She looked as though to argue but then sighed in defeat at his words.

"I should go home, today has been a really bad day for me and I am exhausted, and I need time to think and absorb what has happened." She said this breathlessly in exhaustion. "Please don't leave again, I don't think I could live through it." She stated with her eyes full of panic and fear. I looked her straight in the eye and spoke slowly and firm. "We won't ever leave you again dear, that is one mistake we won't be making a second time." She stood up and wobbled slightly looking towards the door. Jasper grabbed her arm and looked at me and spoke "Bella I will take you home and make sure you get to bed alright, we want to make sure that you are ok." I added "Do you have a roommate that can keep a watch on you?" She pondered "I am supposed to but she hadn't checked in yet, but I am sure she should be there now." I paced and then spoke to Jasper "Alright son take her home, and try to fill her roommate in as little as needed but enough that she will be cared for, and Bella I know you don't like this but I would like you to allow Jasper to put you to sleep and make it comfortable, just so that I know you are recovered from the shock. She smiled brightly "alright Doc I will do what you say but just this once."

Jasper took her home and I called Esme who was alone for the time and told her the situation and that she needed to tell Emmett and Rosalie, we were going to have a lengthy family discussion tonight and this time Edward was going to listen to us all. I called Alice and told her my plan and that I wanted her home as well and she said she was already almost there. I saw Edward's car in the drive so I carefully hid my thoughts when he walked up to me and asked "Carlisle what are you and everybody else hiding from me, even Emmett is doing a good job reciting the rules of baseball over and over." I shook my head and as we walked in the door Jasper joined us and I called out "Family meeting now!!!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok now not to complain but I know lots of you are following but nobody is reviewing, I know I know begging sucks. I just am anxious for feedback since this is my first story. In this chapter I many switch POV so that everything that is happening at the same time is being shared with all of you lovely individuals. I threw up the first chapters so fast I think I might have spoiled you all, so I may not be able to keep up the blistering pace writers block, and dirty diapers get me sometimes. This is a long chapter, but it is worth it, thanks guys.**

**Once again I own nothing twilight just my own brilliant ideas.**

Bella POV

The short drive to my dorm room passed quickly in silence. I would occasionally glance up at Jasper who looked like he was exhausted if that were possible. I guessed that he wasn't going to force conversation because I am sure he could feel how all of my emotions were having a violent battle inside of me trying to decide how I really felt about what just happened.

I woke up this morning a normal college student with a very haunted past, and ended the afternoon as a college student whose supernatural past had hit her somewhat composed life like a wrecking ball. I dug deep as we pulled into my parking lot and found an empty spot. I realized that what I felt the deepest was loneliness, I feel more alone right now than I did that night in the woods. I guess I feel that way because I believed that it would be like he never existed, and one step into my biology class and his existence was real, and he wasn't with me and hadn't been for over a year. I started to spiral down into the feelings of being alone, and the pain of knowing he existed and continued to without me, that he really didn't need me, but did I need him? The simple answer is of course, but in my life nothing was ever simple. I fought back more tears and I felt a feeling of love and happiness....then I realized who I was in the car with.

"Sorry Bella, I just don't want you to feel so unloved, it hurts me too." Jasper whispered uncomfortably. "It's ok Jasper, you shouldn't have to deal with my emotions." I said in an apologetic voice. "That's not what I meant Bella." he replied with irritation in his smooth voice. "Let's get you inside and maybe get some real food in you, and then you need to get some rest, remember your promise to Carlisle." All annoyance was gone from his voice he sounded very familial and caring. "Yes Jasper I remember, and I also recall you being much better than any sleeping pill." I laughed once while saying that. I looked up and he gave me a weak but genuine smile. "It is a good thing you'll be here for the roommate meeting, I'll need the confidence to appear normal, because obviously I am not the most typical human. Fairy tales like to follow me home. " The thought of that made us both laugh. "Don't you mean that fairy tale monsters take you home in this case." He said glumly. I shot him a dirty look, "Just because fairy tale writers make them out to be monsters doesn't mean that they are." We walked in silence for a few minutes after that. I hated that the Cullens thought of themselves as monsters when it was so obvious that they weren't.

As we walked in the front doors of my building I started to head for the elevator to take me to my room, when Jasper grabbed my arm and drug me off toward the cafeteria. "Oh great college food I am so excited." I groaned as we walked into the little chow hall. For some reason Jasper found this hilarious and laughed "I know how you feel." It dawned on me that he did know how I felt "vegetarian" lifestyle and all. I got a plate of spaghetti and a small salad and breadsticks and sat at an empty table. I warily started eating and to my surprise it wasn't too bad, and I was starving. I finished my meal in five minutes. "Ok bedtime for...the human" I said quietly. He just shook his head and followed me to my room on the 5th floor.

As we neared my room I saw that my door was open, and knew that meant my new roommate had arrived. I groaned, I really just wanted to be alone for tonight especially because I didn't know what my dreams would be like after today's events. When I walked into my room my heart sank, there in my room was not one but five girls hovered around my roommates bed talking and laughing excitedly, I was so not in the mood for this. When I walked in all of them looked up and looked at me for a second but then all their eyes were on Jasper, and they wouldn't stop staring. I laughed in my head because so often I forgot that Edward wasn't the only ridiculously good looking man in the family, they all were in fact. I felt bad for Jasper because I could guess what these five girls were thinking and feeling about him, but he knew. "'Hi I am Bella." I said hoping to give Jasper some relief. When all their eyes returned to me I heard a low growl from Jasper which I thought was strange, but then I realized they must have some negative emotion towards me. "This is my friend Jasper. Which one of you is my roommate?" I knew my tone was rude but I didn't care at the moment.

"Hi, I am your new roommate, my name is Cheyenne." I spun around toward the door where the most beautiful girl, well human girl I had ever seen stood. She was at least five foot nine, she had hair black as the night that fell all around her like a silk wrap, her eyes were a deep emerald green. Her facial features were sharp but still soft, and I immediately recognized that they were strongly native american. I had to collect my thoughts because her beauty rendered me speechless. "Hi, I'm Bella, this is Jasper." I spoke while I reached out to shake her well manicured hand. She smiled a sweet smile to both Jasper and myself. "Hi, nice to meet you both. These are my friends Jessica, Becca, Brandy, Lara, and Bria. We were just getting all unpacked and hanging out. How was the first day of class, I'm sorry I missed it I had car trouble?" I sighed and didn't even know how to answer that, but then I felt my confidence boost, thank you Jasper. "It was very eventful, and amazing." I hoped that I didn't give too much away with my answer to her or to Jasper, I still didn't know how to feel. "You guys should hang out with us we were just going to stay here in the room." She spoke very enthusiastically. "Um.. sure can you hold that thought." I pulled Jasper into the hall mid- sentence. He looked at me confused as ever. Then I heard the words that went with the emotions that made him growl. "Oh my god he is so gorgeous, and what is he doing with a girl like HER." "Don't you remember she said they were just friends." "Yeah that means she wants him but he knows he can do way better." "you guys shut up you're being rude I like her, and she is my roommate so learn to be nice or you won't be allowed to come over." Well at least my roommate was a nice person.

"Look Jasper I am really not in the mood to hang out with a bunch of rude teenage girls and share in their drama, can you do anything that will make them want to leave?" I begged desperate to be somewhat alone. He laughed "Well there is the obvious but my family wouldn't like and I don't think you would either---jokes he's got jokes great---, but yeah I can make them all feel sad, exhausted and in need of alone time. " Thanks" I sighed. "you start working on them, and I will go put my pj's on." I ran into the room and grabbed my bathroom items, and ran back out leaving poor Jasper alone. I jumped in the shower quickly to wash the sweat and tears away, and dressed quickly. It took maybe ten minutes to get ready for bed.

They were all still in my room and Jasper looked dumbstruck. "What?" I breathed knowing only he would hear me. He just shook his head and patted his hand, and I knew he meant he needed to touch them to get a better hold of their emotions. " get up and re-introduce yourself and shake their hands, you can do it." I breathed this just as low. He did just what I suggested, and I saw that he had gotten through with his emotions, not one minute later they all excused themselves claiming exhaustion and went to their respective rooms.

I climbed into my bed and Jasper sat on the foot, but before he could put me to sleep my roommate started talking. "Wow, you weren't kidding about having an eventful day. Going to bed already?" I nodded, and Jasper spoke "She actually had a fainting spell in her biology class, so she is worn out." "Oh my are you ok? That is awful." Her voice held genuine concern, and I knew I was really going to like her. "I am ok Cheyenne, must of been too hot in the room, but yeah I am worn out from it." That was an understatement. "I am gonna stay here til she falls asleep, but will you do me a favor if she had any problems tonight will you call me no matter what the time is?" I couldn't believe he asked that, my emotions today must really have him concerned. "Yeah..sure...I'll need your number" Cheyenne even seemed taken back by his request. He gave her his number then sat back on my bed, he grabbed my hand and in mere seconds I could feel unconsciousness hitting me, and then I was out. Before I was completely under I heard him whisper in my ear "Sleep well Bella, and I am truly sorry for what we did to you."

Edward POV

Today has been a strange day, I kept myself locked in my room drowning in my thoughts of Bella, my Bella. It was hard to be so close to where she might be, I know that it is only a matter of time before my resolve completely crumbles, agreeing to come here was the first blow, and everyday it would just get harder to resist. I loved her more today than I ever had, and it was that way with each day that passed. My love for her and the pain of the loss of her burned me so completely that I barely noticed anything else, I had to be told to hunt because I couldn't even feel my thirst.

After Carlisle and Jasper left for the university, Alice informed me that she was going shopping, of course, then Emmett and Rosalie said they were going hunting, but I doubted they would do much hunting. Several hours later I only knew that because I glanced at the clock, Esme came in and told me she was going to look for a new house and wanted me to come, I told her that I was sorry but I just wasn't in the mood. I knew she was trying to distract me but I didn't want a distraction from the pain, it was what I deserved.

It was nearly five and I was still alone, I thought it was odd because I was sure Alice would want to be home in time to meet Jasper after his day with Carlisle. Must be one hell of a sale. Then Emmett and Rosalie came home and their thoughts were very absorbed, Rosalie of course just kept thinking over and over about how beautiful she was, Emmett was thinking about all the rules of baseball. Esme came home next and she was singing in her head if you're happy and you know it. My family can be so weird sometimes, but then I realized that all of them kept to just those thoughts over and over, and I knew then they were hiding something from me. Great this is all I need.

I slowly stalked out of my room listening carefully to their thoughts, to see if any of them would slip up and let me in on what was going on. None of them faltered even Emmett who can never keep his thoughts from wondering. I knew whatever it was must be very serious for Emmett to be doing as well as he was. I heard a car in the drive so I headed out side, and watched Carlisle pull up to the house, and just as I expected he was hiding his thoughts as well, he kept going over the anatomy of the human brain over and over like when you study for a test. I walked over to him "Carlisle what are you and everybody else hiding from me, even Emmett is doing a good job reciting the rules of baseball over and over." He just shook his head, as we walked into the door Jasper joined us and no surprise he was hiding his thoughts too thinking about events of the civil war. I was straining so hard to hear their true thoughts that I finally heard Alice's she was about a mile away, "It is going to be alright, it has to, I won't let it not be. Everything will turn out the way it should this time." She thought this over and over but more like she was using her thoughts to give herself assurance, then her thoughts changed "Oh shit!!! I am close to the house and I bet he heard what I was just thinking, ok umm we all live in a yellow submarine.." I stopped listening because I hate that song and knew what she was doing, she was the best at blocking me. I looked at Carlisle again and he yelled out both mentally and physically "Family meeting now!" Oh great this is bad a family meeting and blocked thoughts, what did I do this time?

I slowly slumped off to the dinning room table where we held all family meetings, and sat down between Esme and Jasper. Alice sat on the other side of Jasper with a grim expression, on her other side sat Emmett who looked like he was going to explode, and next to him Rosalie whose face looked totally confused. Finally Carlisle sat down between Esme and Rosalie and let out a very long mournful sigh, "Well all of you except Edward know the reason for the meeting so before we start I think it is fair that Jasper and I recall our memories from this afternoon so that he will be on the same page. Now Edward you are not allowed to leave this table until we have a full family discussion. Do you agree to this, because if you don't then I will have Emmett and Jasper restrain you." My head started to reel he only threatens us with that when whatever we are finding out is so horrible that we can't stand to be near anybody. I felt sheer panic run through me and I thought to myself "What happened today to bring this on?" I felt a wave of calm and glanced appreciatively to Jasper. "Alright I will agree but if I need a few minutes alone you need to allow that." Everybody nodded in agreement.

"Alright son, this may be hard for you to see but remember we are here, and we will figure this out." Carlisle said while reaching across the table to pat my hand. I didn't feel comforted by his words or touch. "Ok Jasper lets remember so that each of us fill the other's holes." Both of them mumbled apologies in their thoughts before relaxing. Then it hit me like a runaway train the image I so badly wanted to see but then it turned bad and painful. As I saw their memory of my Bella, I started to break down into tearless hysterical sobs. Esme grabbed me and pulled me to her lap like I was a little child and gently rocked me while I continued to watch the event from earlier today. Once the memories were gone and I managed to compose myself I felt the rainbow of emotions. I was happy that she was safe, devastated by the pain from Jasper's memory, burned by her recall of the last words I spoke to her, grateful to my father for taking good care of her, grateful for Jasper soothing her pain, and for how he was upset by those bitches in her room thinking they were better than her, then finally I was angry. I was angrier than I had ever been. I shouted "Why didn't you tell me!!! I have a right to know what you ran into her, that she is unbearable pain, that she feels so alone...." I trailed off not knowing what else to say. I realized I was crouched as I shouted and my family's faces were shocked and frightened.

Carlisle placed a hand on me an guided me to an erect position, "Son we knew it would be just as hard on you as was on her, and we wanted to make sure that your choices were made from careful deliberation and not rash emotions. If we had told you, you would have gone to her right then and there. She isn't ready for that and neither are you." He looked into my eyes and I could tell he was so afraid of me leaving again. I heard Esme's mental voice begging "Please don't go away, I won't survive it!" Then I realized they all were thinking the same thing, because they knew what I had told Bella that night, and they knew it was a horrible lie. "I can't promise that now, I need time to decide and think this through." I felt the desperate need to run out of the house and run until the pain from what I saw in their memories of today was gone. My thoughts must have been obvious because Emmett placed his hands on my shoulders, "Don't do it brother, I will do whatever to stop you this time. Leaving is the wrong thing, and you're not doing it." I knew he meant his words so I sat down calmly in my chair. "What am I supposed to do then? Please tell me, because I don't know anymore. I should leave but I can't leave you and now that I have seen I can never ever leaver her. I just don't know how to fix this." I was getting hysterical again "I can't do what she wants well what she did want, and what you all want I can't destroy her soul, and I know if she even still wants me that she won't have it any other way." I looked pleadingly to my family

It was a long time before anybody spoke. Emmett broke the silence, " I have a theory for you, I know you think you would be destroying her soul, but we have no evidence of that...just hear me out ok. My strongest human memory is of Rose rescuing me and taking me to Carlisle. I knew in that moment that I wanted to be with her forever. If I had met her and fallen in love with her the way that you and Bella did, I would have wanted Rose to change me too, she is my soulmate, and she couldn't be that to me if I didn't have a soul. I know that this is true because I loved her in the brief time I was human and knew then that she was my soulmate. Bella knows the same thing, so why would your soulmate be human if she wasn't meant to become more? That would just be a sick joke for both of you, and as she is still human and we know she has a soul you know that she would have done nothing to bring that punishment upon herself. She was put in this world to be with you, and you to be with her, so the issue of changing her comes down to if you believe she is your soulmate; if you do like all of us do, then you know that her change isn't an if it is a when. Now that being said you still have a lot to make up to her, and that is what you should be focused on. You need to sweep her sweet ass off her feet." Rosalie smacked him with his final remark. I looked around the table and like everybody else I couldn't believe the wisdom that had just come out of Emmett's mouth. "Wow" I finally managed to breath.

"Alright, let's say that I go with Emmett on this, then what happens next?" I couldn't believe I was doing this, but I knew I couldn't exist without her, and I knew they were right she was my soulmate. I still wasn't sure about changing her, but I'd have to win her love back for that to even matter. Carlisle cleared his throat. "I think that you and Bella shouldn't see or talk right away, I think she needs to adjust to the fact that we are all back in her life, and you need to come up with a plan. Now I know you know where she lives because Jasper took her home, all I ask is that she is unaware that you are there for a short time. You'll know when the time is right." I shook my head in shock "The love of my existence is right here and I can't see her or talk to her, expect from the tree outside her window?" They all laughed, laughed I was getting pissed. Alice giggled " I don't remember Carlisle saying anything about a tree outsider her window." I growled and she gave me a dirty look "So stalker Edward make his return, just like the old days." Emmett said through hearty chuckles. "Ha Ha very funny guys, you know that is my only choice, and you know I can't stay away." "We know." They all said as if it had been rehearsed. I was so annoyed it took me by surprise when Alice yelled "YAY!"

Just as she spoke Jasper answered his phone. "Hello?"..... "Oh hi yes I remember, has something happened?" His face was panicked, so I tuned into the whole conversation. A girls voice said "Well I dunno if it is a big deal but she is sobbing in her sleep and calling out a name, she sounds so said and in pain." "Thank you for calling, don't wake her up, I am sending my girlfriend Alice over she is really good friends with Bella she will be able to take care of her, it was very kind of you to be concerned and call." The girl replied. "Ok I'll watch her to make sure she is ok until your girlfriend gets here." "She will be there in just a few minutes, thanks again." Jasper hung up his phone and looked toward his tiny wife. "This is why you said yay isn't it?" She smiled "yep". "Edward and I will go, he can take his place in the tree he already picked out, and I will go in and take care of our Bella." Carlisle spoke before we could leave. "I think it would be wise for you to tell her about the no contact so that she doesn't misunderstand and take it to mean he left or that he really doesn't love her." Alice nodded and her and I took off on foot, it would get us there faster. My mind was spinning I was going to get to look at my Bella, my love, my heart ,my world, the reason for my existence.

**Ok guys I really want ideas on who's POV the next chapter should be, Alice or Bella? There will be a brief Edward POV, but I'm not sure who should tell the next part of the story**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank all of you who have been reviewing, they are helpful, especially those of you who review each chapter. I am trying really hard on making smaller paragraphs, it is hard for me but I swear I am trying. I know I said that I would slow my pace, well I still may but I am just as excited about the story as you are.**

**I will switch POV a few times in this chapter.**

**Once again I own nothing twilight, I am just a fan.**

Alice POV

As Edward and I ran toward the university I tried to keep from scanning Bella's future, even though that is all I wanted to do. I was so over excited to be seeing Bella my best friend in all the world, how I despised having to leave her. I knew that I would have to reign in my excited behavior, as a vampire my emotions always come out way stronger than humans are used to. I knew Bella wouldn't be surprised by my behavior, but I also didn't want to overwhelm her. I remembered my vision from this afternoon and Edward flinched at my side. "_Sorry"_ I thought apologetically. I couldn't help but wonder what events lead to the pain that she was in. "I know me too Alice, this is all my fault." Edward breathed. All of the pain in this was unfair, all of us felt pain but we all knew Bella's pain was more severe.

"I don't think you guys realize how much pain it caused and still causes me for leaving her" Edward was running at a much slower pace next to me. "You just don't understand..." He continued sadly. For the first time anger rose inside of me and I growled, stopping and facing off with Edward. "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!" I tried to calm my speech as I continued "She is my best friend she didn't only change you, she changed me, I love her just as much, maybe not in the same way but do not think for a minute that I don't understand your pain. I understand better than anybody, quit being such a drama king!" I sighed instantly feeling guilty for chastising my pained brother.

"Do you feel better?" He asked in an amused tone. I chuckled "Yeah I do thanks." We started running again at a much faster and happier pace. As happy as I was, I knew this first meeting wasn't going to be all hugs and happiness, I knew their would be tears and pain. I only hoped that Edward could handle watching it all at a safe distance. Such a stalker her is, but I knew he meant well. "You would do the same thing Alice" He said flashing me a false mean look.

We arrived at Bella's dorm and Edward carefully took his place in the tree outside of her room, lucky that the tree provided dark shadows for him to hide in. I knocked on her door softly, an extremely beautiful human girl answered, she towered over me. "Hi, you must be Jaspers girlfriend Alice." She whispered. She guided me into the room and there she was laying in the bed near the window tossing and whining inaudibly in her sleep. I felt so many things watching my best friend, love, adoration, sadness, and anguish. I knew that my emotions wouldn't hold a candle to what Edward was feeling.

I looked out the window and I saw him sobbing tearlessly on the huge branch of his tree. "_I'm so sorry Edward, we will make this alright again I promise." _ He looked up and nodded at me and continued to sob. Just seeing her pain while she slept and his brought a brief moment of panic on and I was so near sobbing also. I shook it off and sat down on the chair next to Bella's head and grabbed her hand into mine. She spoke still asleep "Oh, Edward why don't you love me...or need me....I can't....no please don't go!!" I saw the tree shake from the corner of my eye and I knew he heard her words just as clearly as I did. Bella then started screaming "NO, PLEASE COME BACK NO NO no no..." Her roommate came over and whispered in my ear "She has been saying the name Edward over and over, and talking about how she hates him and loves him, it is so weird and scary." I didn't know what to make of that, but I knew Edward would take it the wrong way. "_You will not move from that tree until we figure this out, I will not let you leave her again. I will make a scene."_ I could hear him growl but I knew he would stay, for now.

"Bella wake up sweetie, it's ok, your just having a nightmare." I said in a louder voice. She started to stir and breathed "Alice?" I sighed in relief "Yes I'm here." She then sat bolt upright in her bed and stared at me, and with no warning threw herself in my lap "Oh Alice your really here, it wasn't a dream." She cried uncontrollably in my lap as I rocked her and gently stroked her head. I vaguely heard her roommate say that she would be back that she wanted to give us privacy. I could tell that she was a kind human, and that is more rare than you would think.

"Alice how long have you been here...in my room?" She asked wiping tears onto her sleeve. "About fifteen minutes." I answered. "Why are you here, not that I am not thrilled?" She asked while standing up and straightening herself out. "Your roommate called Jasper, but of course I saw it before she called." She looked confused "Why did Cheyenne call Jasper, I'm not having any fainting problems?" I thought for a moment on how to answer her when I saw realization hit her face, she gasped. "My nightmare, I was screaming in my sleep again." She paced her room and turned on the light beside her bed. "Yeah you were before I got here and after..."

We were quiet for another minute and I could tell she was being careful before speaking. "Alice, what did I say, what did you hear, and what did she tell you?" I glanced out the window and saw Edward whose expression burned me where I sat, he wouldn't have a more pained expression if her were consumed my the hottest flames. "You asked why Edward didn't love you, or need you, you begged him not to go, screamed for him to come back, and Cheyenne said that you said his name over and over and said how you hated him and loved him." The expression on her face mirrored the face Edward was now wearing. I knew then that her pain ran deeper than any human should be capable of. It also didn't escape my attention and I doubt that it escaped his how she covered herself when I said his name.

"Alice why? Why did you leave me what did I do to deserve you leaving me? I thought that I was your best friend, I thought you loved me...but I thought he did too but I was wrong." I felt the panic rise inside of my stomache and I truly didn't know what to say, so I went with the truth even though I knew it would cost Edward. "I didn't want to leave you Bella, I do love you, and you are my best friend, and will always be. Edward convinced us that you would be safer without us, and at fist we tried to convince him otherwise, but his logic was infallible. Once we left and had time to think it through we ALL knew what we did was wrong, but didn't want to cause you any more pain." I lost my composure and train of thought looking into her empty eyes "Oh Bella, I am so sorry I know I can't take it back but know that I won't ever leave you again, please forgive me!!"

She looked down at me and her eyes started to look less empty, she took a seat back in my lap and said "Of course I forgive you, you are my best friend and always will be, I know it wasn't your fault you were following orders." She just held onto me tightly like she was afraid I wasn't real or that I might disappear beneath her. I looked out the window and saw that Edward was nearly beside himself with the need to make her understand and to get her love back, but he knew that she needed time, and he needed a damn good plan.

Bella POV

I held onto to Alice deathly afraid that she would just disappear that everything that happened today wasn't real. I couldn't vocalize what I was feeling, and if I was honest I didn't really know what I was feeling. I knew that I still loved him, and I still needed him but like I had said in my dream I hated him, he made me incapable of giving myself to someone I knew loved me, and would take care of me. I think I was a little hurt that it was Alice that was holding me and not him, that spoke volumes to his true feelings. I knew that maybe I was wrong about this so I decided I would ask. "Alice, not that I'm not glad that your here but why you and not..." I couldn't bring myself to say his name the pain was still too raw. "He doesn't really love me anymore does he? If he did wouldn't he be the one trying to comfort me, explaining...." I didn't know what else to say my mind was throwing so many outrageous ideas around I couldn't pick a coherent thought.

Alice stood up quickly at her speed and placed me on my bed, and here eyes were locked onto mine as she spoke. "Bella, he wanted to be the one to do just that ,but we the whole family told him that it was a bad idea, we thought that you would need time to really think about what is happening so that you could make a rational decision. We also knew that he would need time to figure out what he needed to do to make it up to you. We all understand if you don't want us back I mean we kind of bring danger into your life a little more than necessary. That is also why I am here to tell you that we think you guys shouldn't see each other or talk for a little while so that you both have time to adjust." I could tell by her face that she felt really bad that they had made this decision for me, but I understood why.

I wasn't ready to see him again, shit I couldn't say his name or hear it without wishing for instant death. It was Tuesday now and I thought about how long I would need, then I remembered that Jake was coming to see me this weekend. Oh great another problem I am going to have, this day just kept getting better and better. "Alice I think that it would be best for me not to talk to him or see him but not for too long. we have some things that need to be dealt with, I of course want to see the rest of you all the time....but.....this weekend I am going to need you guys to not be around. Um...my friend Jake is coming to stay with me and um....he...is...a....well heisawerewolf." Alice gasped I know I said the last part fast but duh I was talking to a vampire. "No way, do you have any idea how dangerous young werewolves are, oh my we didn't expect this."

I wasn't going to have this vampires telling the human what to do crap, I had spent over a year around Jake and the pack and I knew the dangers but I also knew he was in excellent control and would never hurt me. "Alice, I am a big girl I can take care of myself, I have spent a lot of time around Jake and his pack and am aware, plus Jake loves me way too much to ever hurt me...no not by accident either he has exceptional control of his emotions. I am not going to let you talk me out of it I have made up my mind, I will not budge on this. You can come back into my life after abandoning me and try to tell me who to hang out with. Jake was there for me when I was broken beyond repair, he slowly put my pieces back together...at least the ones that he could. I will not cut him out of my life when he essentially saved it, well and actually." I felt a little better after my mini rant.

"Alright I will respect your decision but don't expect me to like it." Alice answered in her musical grumble. "So Bella you and the dog, I'm sorry Jake...are you...well...you know?" I really didn't want to explain Jacob's and my relationship it hurt me just to think about what I did to him after what he had done to save me. "Alice I don't really want to talk about that right now, I have enough to deal with right now without having to deal with that." I figured my answer was vague enough, I figured a little jealousy would do Edward some good. I thought his name and there was no pain, maybe this would turn out ok after all. "Bella what did you mean he actually saved your life?" Her voice was full of curious concern. I told her all about my hallucinations and motorcycle riding and then the cliff diving and how I almost drown but Jake saved me. Cheyenne came back into the room and that effectively ended our conversation. Having a roommate was going to make life very tricky.

"Bella you should get some sleep, I will sleep in this chair tonight, I'll go home in the morning." Alice stated but her voice left no room to argue, I knew she loved playing the human charade, and I knew she was going to play wardrobe police in the morning, but I was kinda happy about it. I reluctantly went back to sleep, and to my surprise I had good dreams and slept well. I hope that meant the screaming nightmares would be coming to a complete end soon.

Edward POV

If I wasn't an immortal I would have died when I heard the words Bella said in her sleep before Alice and I arrived, and then hearing her beg me not to leave asking why I didn't love her were the final nails in my metaphoric coffin. I wanted to run and never come back, I couldn't put her through anymore pain and I wasn't sure that I could take anymore myself. Alice must have seen my plan, and when she thought her words I knew she was right, I couldn't leave not now, and not ever I was going to figure out how to make this right again, how to earn her love back if I could. When she told Alice about that mutt I almost lost control and came flying into her window. A year with dogs, and I didn't miss her say that the filthy mutt loved her, and was she with him now? She didn't answer that question and the thought slowly burned me, my jealousy was back and stronger than it had ever been.

I was very relieved that her roommate had a very kind mind, she didn't even have an aversion to Alice because her concern for Bella was so real. I also saw in her mind that Bella had said a lot more in her sleep than she had told Alice, and now that I knew the person who went with the name was a dog I could barely contain the anguish. She had pleaded with Jake too, that she loved him and was sorry. Stupid filthy mutt didn't deserve her to be sorry. I did have a small amount of appreciation for him for picking up the pieces that I tore apart and left behind.

I was hopeful that she still loved me because of what she has said about the mutt putting her back together it seemed that some still needed repair and he wasn't able to do it, I would do it, I had to do it. I was going to do whatever I needed to for us to be together and happy again. I love her, and I know that she loves me even if she doesn't remember it, I will make her remember. It wont be like last time, I won't try to push her away, I will use romance, and chivalry, and whatever else it takes to win her back. I knew her well enough to know how to get to her heart, I just needed a plan. I saw the papers on her desk and read what I could. In that pile I saw the answer to my problem, and I just had to get Carlisle to agree and set it up. I pulled out my phone and texted him my plan. I normally would have gone home and discussed it with him but not tonight, I couldn't take my eyes of the beautiful sleeping woman, and I wasn't sure if I could ever take my eyes off of her.

_"It's going to be fine Edward, I've seen it your plan it will work.....eventually....I am so proud of you. You have really restrained yourself tonight, and I know what you've heard tonight cost you dearly and I am sorry for that." _Alice was being very understanding considering that all of this was my fault and I cost her time with a friend that she loved dearly. I would make that up to Alice once I won my Bella's heart back. _"Thank you Edward, I appreciate it." _Damn psychic she already knew what I would do to attempt to make up for my stupidity.

I sat the rest of the night and watched her sleep, I missed this so much, occasionally she would blush and it made me long to hold her even more. Even from outside I could smell her and it was the sweetest torture of my life. I kept telling myself that she would be mine again, it had to be or I wouldn't survive it.

"_Edward time for you to go home, Carlisle is waiting, and Bella needs to get up and dressed." _I knew that she was right but the thought of Bella undressed made more than just my hair stand up, boy this was going to be interesting. I climbed out of the tree and ran home letting the childish fantasy of me doing things to Bella I had never before imagined run through my head, and with that I knew I was done for, I couldn't deny her anything this time, not _anything._


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank all of you who have added me on your favorites I am extremely flattered. Once again thanks to all my religious reviewers it helps me a ton. I also appreciate those of you that are pointing out some of my typing errors I try my best but I will miss stuff and that is why I depend on you lovely people. Once again, I am trying to make the paragraphs easier to read I'm so sorry it is really hard for me.**

**A few people are concerned about my rating and what could be coming in the future. I have not decided if I am going to have lemony goodness yet or not, I am letting the story take me where it will. If I do add lemons then yes I will change the rating.**

**This chapter doesn't develop the story further but I had to let Emmett be heard.**

**I will change POV in this chapter again, but sorry we won't be hearing a lot from Edward this time around. Be patient, I promise it will be well worth it.**

Bella POV

When I woke up from the first good night of sleep I have had in over a year I felt a sudden spike of panic and searched my room until I found what I was looking for, a beautiful pixie like girl rummaging through my closet...wait rummaging through my closet? "Alice, what the hell are you doing?" She turned around and her face was full of horror. "Honestly Bella, I would have thought that even you would know not to take fashion tips from the chief of police!" She was holding my favorite flannel shit that was frayed and lovingly worn in. I normally would have been annoyed by this behavior but I was overjoyed that in the fresh light of day Alice was still here, that everything that happened yesterday was real, that I couldn't be bothered to feel insulted. "Ok Alice your right, but I love that shirt, it has sentimental value." She smirked as she hung it back up tentatively.

"I'm sorry Bella I promised myself I wasn't going to be overbearing with you, but Cheyenne left at five this morning and I was a little bored, so I went through your wardrobe. I have to say that a few of the things I found were surprisingly wonderful, I must have rubbed off a little." I thought of the perfect smart ass retort "No, actually all of my good fashion clothing Charlie helped me pick out before moving here." I couldn't help but laugh at her mock annoyed face. "So, what am I wearing today fashion coordinator?" She lit up like a Christmas tree when I asked. "Really, wow, yay, I promise it will be comfortable it is a bit of a warm muggy day." Then she was in my closet and back out with clothes I didn't even know I owned.

She laid on my bed a pair of lightweight stretch hiphuggers, a blue halter with a touch of purple, and white and the same color blue checkered button down blouse. I put on the outfit, and went to throw on my boots but before I could reach them they went flying out my window. I rolled my eyes I knew she hated them, and they were old so I really didn't mind. She handed me a pair of shoes that sorta resembled a boot but were much more elegant and had a thin but short heel, they were a tanish brown color. I looked pretty good and it was comfortable like she promised, but then I saw my face, the past year had taken its toll, I was sullen and paler than usual, and my hair seemed to be just as hectic. "Umm...Alice....can you fix this?" I motioned to my heard. She sighed and came over to me.

"Bella you still look beautiful, but I guess the past year left its mark, I can erase that for you but remember you don't need fixing just cleaning up." I smiled at her and understood she wanted me to know that she loved me and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. "Thanks Alice, I think maybe this time I'll listen, it's time for me to be more of a woman and less of a scared child." I meant it too I was done hiding inside myself, I needed to show the world and most importantly myself that I was a woman, especially if I still wanted to....truly become part of the Cullen family.

When Alice was done with me I felt well....sexy...that was the first time I had felt that way it was a strangely exhilarating feeling. I went to my mirror and appraised the woman in front of me, and I really liked what I saw. I heard a buzzing noise and saw Alice type a text message in under a second..it was strange how normal that seemed to me.

"So, I only have two classes today one is library science and the other tonight is my biology lab...is Carlisle my teacher for that? Anyways you can come with me to class if you would like, I'm sure they wouldn't notice, and we could spend the day together between my classes." She looked at me with disappointment, "Well I would really love to do that and technically he is your teacher but he has an aid that teaches his labs, he just gives them the lesson plan, but anyway Emmett wants to spend the day with you he is dying to see you, not literally of course but still, what do you think?" I was torn I really missed Emmett he was so fun to be around but I was terrified to let Alice go in fear that she wouldn't come back, hopefully someday I would quit feeling that way. "Wont Rosalie be mad that I am spending the day with Emmett?" I knew she would but I still had to ask.

"Oh, screw Rose she needs to pull the stick out of her ass eventually, and it is what Emmett wants so she wont openly object." Alice said in a very trite manner. I laughed at her using such rude language and caved "Oh alright I would love to see Emmett, my day should be a real riot, especially with me wearing these shoes, at least I know I wont actually hit the ground." We laughed at that because be both knew I would fall at least once today, and that Emmett would have to save me from injury, and then mercilessly make fun of me about it afterwards.

"Well, I have to get going, Emmett will be here in twenty minutes to accompany you to class, he wont be able to stay with you all day the sun will make an appearance at 2:47 p.m. this afternoon and will be out until sunset, oh and Jasper is excited about seeing you in his lab tonight. I have to go hunt before and make it back before the sun, somebody in your building smells a little too good it's maddening, now I know how Edward feels....oh sorry." I chuckled "Don't be, and please never be sorry about what you are I fully accept it..and..." I trailed off not able to say what I wanted, but her eyes told me she understood.

She swept me up in a tight hug and kissed my cheek "Have a good day, I'll see you in your lab I have a feeling your teacher wont put up too much of a fuss about an un-enrolled student." Then she danced out of my room, and I was alone.

I barely had time to really think about how my life had changed in the last twenty four hours before I heard a hard knock and a booming laugh outside my door. I opened the door and was swept into a rib breaking, suffocating hug which I had missed so much "Uh...Em...can't..breathe."

Emmett POV

I was so psyched about spending the day with Bella that I didn't want to put her down, but unfortunately she was a human and actually needed to breath so I reluctantly put her down. "Damn Bella you look gooood, what a difference a year makes." She was a lot more grown up and those clothes definitely showed off her hot little body. "Thanks Emmett, you really know how to flatter a girl" She giggled sarcastically. Oh how I missed joking with Bella she was so fun to be around. "Um..Bella...I am really sorry that I agreed to leave you, it was the wrong thing to do, will you forgive me?" I asked this sheepishly knowing that she had every right to refuse my request.

She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed "Emmett I know it wasn't your idea, of course I forgive you, your back now so let bygones be bygones." There she was, the most forgiving human I had ever met. "You seriously are the coolest damn person little sister, today is going to rock I can't wait." I looked down at her feet and started laughing "Oh yeah today is going to be hilarious, and of course your gonna expect me to keep you clumsy ass off the ground while your wearing those deathtraps aren't you?" I knew that I wouldn't have to dig for jokes today and my happiness rose even higher.

"Yeah I wore these shoes just for your entertainment, now try not to get me in trouble my first day in library science." She gave me a half hearted serious look, and I knew as well as she did that would be a hard task but I would try to behave. "Library science what kind of a dumb shit class is that anyway?" College courses just kept getting more and more ridiculous over time. "I dunno most likely they don't think people know how to use a library and want to teach you the fine science behind it" He voiced reeked of sarcasm.

"Are you sure I have to behave then, it sounds like the perfect class to be well myself in." I imagined my self running through the library and mixing up all the books really screwing Mr. Dewey's system right up. "We'll have to see, I might be right there with you throwing call cards around" She said in a voice that told me she thought the class was bullshit, but mandatory. "Bella they don't use call cards anymore, there are these new inventions called computers it make the process much easier." She smacked me and of course it felt like being tickled with a feather. "Are you ready big brother?" She asked gesturing to the hallway. "Fuck yeah let's spread some mayhem on this stuffy college campus." If only.

We walked to the library it was only a quarter of a mile from her dorm, what a stuffy place it was. I looked around and imagined that Esme could have done a better set-up with her eyes closed. "Oh joy this place is more exciting than disneyland." I scoffed, Bella looked at me and nodded in agreement. "Better behave Em, how would it look if Dr. Cullen's son got in trouble trashing the ugly ass library." She cussed oh my god I had never heard her cuss before it was awesome, just for that I gave her another hug. "Oh Bella I didn't know you had cussing in you I am so proud, and don't worry I wont embarrass Carlisle, at least not today."

Even though I promised to be good, Bella and I got yelled at a few dozen times, and the up tight old and smelly professor threatened to kick us out after he caught us passing notes for the eighth time. Bella's face was fire red by the end of class, and neither of us could contain our laughter. I was so thrilled that she was so happy spending time with me, Jasper had explained how she had been just the day before and I have to admit I was worried. Even my darling Rose thought that a day with me would help ease Bella's pain. I was so excited it worked that if I could I would have pissed my pants.

We walked around and talked for all of the morning, I took her to lunch at the student union, she ate while I watched. I had always been tempted to eat human food but even this stuff held no curious appeal it smelled so appalling. "Emmett, thanks for spending the day with me, it really helped, I feel a lot less in shock, and I think that I am more ready to think about the really important aspect of all of this." I nodded thoughtfully " Not to put you on the spot but you know me, Bella do you still love Edward?" I couldn't keep that question locked up any longer it had been trying to run out of my damn mouth all day. "No offense Emmett, but I can't tell you the answer, I don't want him to know, I want him to have to figure it out with out his little talent for support, he could use the challenge." She said in a slightly dark tone. Even though she didn't tell me the answer, I saw it in her eyes, but I knew that Edward wouldn't see it there he was so fucking hard on himself he always missed the obvious. She still loved him, and would never stop loving him.

We walked back to her building in silence except for the three times she tripped and I caught her with mere inches to spare, one of the times she would have shattered her nose if I hadn't been there. I howled with laughter the entire walk, and she was blushing so much I though her head might actually catch fire, it was so fuckin cute, I was so childishly giddy to have my baby sister back my life, it wasn't the same without her.

We got back to her room with half an hour to spare before I had to go, I met her roommate Cheyenne and five of her friends. Cheyenne was nice enough but the others were too aroused by me it was stinky, and annoying. They all kept sending Bella daggers when they didn't think we could see, so I did what any big brother who wasn't really related would do. "Oh Bella you are the most beautiful (human..I whispered) woman I have ever seen, no woman has ever been as sexy and delicious as you are." I swept her up back like in old-fashioned movies which weren't old when I was a human but anyways and kissed her. I knew Rose and Edward would be miffed but they would appreciate the reason behind it. "Bella blushed brighter than I had seen all day. "Thanks, Emmett but um well your brother is more my type no offense, but I am sure you will find an even more beautiful girl to spend your life with. She then whispered so low only I could hear.. who is going to kill me for letting you do that, damn it she already hates me." I scoffed it was freaking cool how Bella knew how to speak to only the vampire in the room, the girl was destined to be part of our family.

"Well since you don't love me the way I love you, I guess I will go home..and cry." I said in mock despair nodding at the clock. "Thanks for the great day big brother bear, I really needed it, tell everybody I said hi, and tell Rosalie not to kill me. She said with a wink. I laughed "Ok so can she maim you? Just kidding, she wont I'll keep my sexy lady distracted so she wont remember to." Just the though got me excited to get home, how I wanted Rose to punish me, yeah buddy. "TMI Em TMI" She said while trying to shake the image in her head away. "Peace out homey." I said while leaving her with those nasty fuckin girls. The human roommate element was going to suck big balls. I took off running once out of sight, going home to my Rosie my whole body excited to get home.

Bella POV

I was alone again for the second time today, ok not truly alone Cheyenne and her annoying friends were here but I felt alone. My morning with Emmett was just what the doctor ordered I felt so much better today. I even felt ready to mentally tackle the Edward dilemma. Once again I said his name and there was no pain, but instead a feeling of longing. I still didn't know what I wanted to do about Edward, and I knew I couldn't make a decision until after seeing Jake this weekend. There was one thing I needed to do to make sure I chose the right path, and I needed Jake to be here so that I could do that. I reluctantly socialized with my roommate and her friends, the more I talked to Cheyenne the more I liked her, and the more I talked to her friends the more I wanted to kick their teeth in. They had been listening to a rock cd I had never heard before but it drew me in. When I asked Cheyenne about it she handed it to me and told me her and her friends had to get to class but that I should look up the lyrics to the songs and read them while listening or I would get them terribly wrong. I laughed but what the hell I had two hours to kill before class with Jasper as my teacher and Alice as a fellow student, how funny is this going to be.

I listened to the CD several times, and the lyrics were interesting some of them even a bit disturbing, but one song in particular held my attention the most. I listened to it over and over. It had a sense of raw sexuality to it, and while I listened I allowed myself to fantasize, some of my fantasies more sexual than others, most of them were about Edward, and one or two were about Jake. I was embarrassed for thinking the things I was, but I was nineteen and had never been to second base so what else was I going to do.

I felt a breeze behind me and turned with a start and saw Alice beaming at me from my bed. "Hey Bella how was your day with Emmett?' I rolled my eyes "Like you don't already know the answer to that. Anyway it was awesome I really have missed him." I looked at my clock and saw that I had an hour and a half before my lab at seven. I thought about the no contact order for Edward and I and it hit me. "Alice, he will leave if we don't talk soon I just know it." She looked away for a second, and her expression told me I was right.

Then a portion of the song I had listened to all afternoon crossed my mind, and I knew how to make sure he would stay. "Genius Bella, whatever you are going to do will make things around here very interesting." Alice said with udder joy in her voice. I went to my computer and wrote a note, all I would put in the note was Dear Edward the portion of the song that I knew would mean something to him because it did to me, and my interpretation of what it meant, and that I simply wrote so what are you going to do about it? Love Bella, P.S if you can't figure out the song ask Jasper I think I heard him mention the band before. I placed it in an envelope and wrote his name on it. "Alice this isn't against the no contact order, will you take it to him now, then come back when you are finished?' I knew she would and I knew how cruel this was but I didn't care I wasn't going to come back easily I wanted him to fight for me if he still wanted me and I knew this would the spur in his side. "Ok, be back in thirteen minutes." Alice said while she dashed away very excitedly.

Edward POV

I heard Alice's thoughts before she got home and she was doing her best to hide them but memories of Bella popped through here and there. She then just barged into my room and handed me an envelope. "Here this is for you." Her voice was way too thrilled. I took the envelop and heard Alice tell Jasper to distract her, and prepared my self for the lust that was going to be pouring in soon, I wish Alice would find a better distraction to keep me out of her mind. I had enough of my own lust to deal with.

I opened the envelope and it simply said:

Dear Edward,

Someday soon you'll find that someone....................................Obviously I will find somebody else, maybe I already know him

waiting for the chance to beat you................................................Who will break through my resistance because of you

drooling on the stage to feel you......................................................once again obvious

blessing you with every kiss.............................................................and he would try to make me forget all about you

Oh yeah,.. it would be strange and adored by me throughout.., if you let it happen.

Someday my body and hormones will win the battle with my heart. So what are you going to do about it?

Love Bella

P.S. If you can't figure out the song ask Jasper I think I heard him mention the band before.

I read those words a dozen times, and it hit me. She is telling me that she has needs and that she will move on to satisfy her needs unless I stop her, and I knew then that this no contact bullshit was coming to an end, how can I win back somebody I can't see, touch or talk to. I would give her the weekend to explain to the mutt, oh shit she wouldn't NOOO. I really needed to figure out this song so that maybe I could figure out what she was thinking. "Jasper, finish with Alice and come here." I heard both of them growl, but their private time could come later. I needed to make a plan and I knew I needed to let go of all my preconceived notions about physical boundaries I knew this time she wouldn't allow me to push her away, and I wasn't sure I would allow it either. God the things I wanted to do to her, and the need to claim her as mine so that filthy dog wouldn't be able to.

"What has got you so lustful and determined, and why did I have to hurry through sex?" Jasper was at my door. I showed him the note, and he laughed "Wow, that is quite the threat, hold on I'll get the CD and the rest of the lyrics." He laughed all the way to his room and back. "Ok my master planner, I am going to win her back so help me come up with a fool proof plan." That was funny to me because I had been such a fool.

"Ok, but it will have to wait, I have to go teach Bella's class now, don't know how I am going to look at her the same after reading that note. Just read the lyrics you're smart you'll figure it out." He said while walking away. I read through the lyrics and found the song, and listened to it and read it over and over, and it finally hit me what she meant when she said that it would be strange and adored by her throughout, and I about dropped dead from unadulterated arousal. My, my Bella was definitely hitting below the belt, and did I ever like it.

**I know you want to know the song, but I think I will just make you sweat it out, and maybe you can guess it. **

**Sorry I didn't get this posted sooner my internet was down, so I had to wait, I hate it just as much as you do.**


	7. Chapter 7

***Walks in shaking head* What did I do to make you all abandon me? I am so sad. I got 1 review for the last chapter. Oh well I still inspire myself. I guess it isn't about you guys anyways this is my creative outlet.**

**Once again I own nothing Twilight just my made up people and my crazy ideas.**

Bella POV

Alice returned to my room five minutes later than she said she would, and said something about not being able to help it, she had Jasper distract her so Edward wouldn't see her latest visions. I was pretty sure I really didn't want to know how Jasper distracted her but in the back of my mind I definitely knew. We went to my lab and Alice sat with my lab group, and did a great imitation of a school girl infatuated with her teacher, and I am pretty sure the emotions she was intentionally throwing at Jasper were the reason he had a difficult time explaining what we would be experimenting with this semester. A few times Jasper would look up at me and shake his head in what had to be disbelief. Then I remembered the note I had sent home with Alice. "Of course, he showed Jasper the note." I mumbled to myself before remembering that there were two vampires in the room who could hear me loud and clear. "Shit!!" I said again. Jasper just laughed and Alice was doing her best not to. I felt the familiar burn in my cheeks. I was pretty sure during the aptitude test we had to fill out I saw both Jasper and Alice's mouths moving, which meant they were talking to each other. After we handed in the tests Jasper explained that he would have a sub for four of our classes because he would be at a conference.

Those classes happened to be days that we were dealing with blood in one form or another, so I understood his need to be gone. He also explained how Dr. Cullen would be by time to time to help, and check on the classes progress. After he explained the course, and grading he excused us forty five minutes early. I was glad that Jasper would be my teacher in my only three hour long class, labs are notorious for that. He did a great job for this being his first time, and when he got nervous his southern drawl became more extreme. Alice seemed to love this. The others in my lab group seemed shocked at her open crush on the teacher, and how he seemed to reciprocate. I just found it funny, and sweet.

Alice and Jasper took me home after making sure I ate dinner, they were so funny about feeding me. It seemed that feeding me was an open fascination with them. They left me at my door and both gave me huge hugs. As they walked away Jasper spoke over his shoulder, "Way to go with that song Bella, you really got under his skin with that one, I have never felt him feel some of the emotions he felt today, you really have a ballsy way." We all laughed, and I went inside my room and to my relief Cheyenne was home by herself. Her and I talked a bit and I got ready for bed, and was asleep before ten.

The rest of the week went by pretty uneventfully in English we talked about our prior notions of Romeo and Juliet before we were going to start reading, psychology was lost on me, history was excruciatingly boring, library science had some interesting points only because I love books so much. I really enjoyed biology, and it was probably because Carlisle was teaching, he made a simple subject interesting, and I was so happy to have him back in my life I never took my eyes off of him. He briefly spoke to me after class on both Wednesday and Friday. Friday he asked me to tell Jacob that he would be interested in meeting to talk about the treaty and whatever else, I suspected it was also because he was fascinated by the wolves, but I agreed to ask. I had spent all of my free time with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and even a little with Rosalie. I really wanted to see Esme but they told me she was busy house hunting.

As I rode the bus home on Friday night I began to feel extremely nervous, I knew Jake would be waiting for me, and I had a specific plan on how I wanted the weekend to pan out. I knew that tonight would be the most difficult because of what I had to tell him. When I walked up to the front doors he was sitting on the steps wearing blue jeans that hung lower than the waistband of his boxers, and of course no shirt. All the girls were getting whiplash as they walked past him. He ran up and hugged me tightly "Oh Bella, I missed you so much....wait...what is that smell?" He put me down and his face looked livid. Crap, I forgot about the whole smell thing, and Carlisle and Jasper both hugged me after class. Well so much for my plan.

"Jake please don't jump to conclusions, let's go up to my room and if my roommate isn't home we can talk there." I could feel fresh tears pooling in my eyes the anger on Jake's face broke my heart. "Ok, Bella let's do that but you better get to the point, and quickly I can control my temper in most circumstances, but this is not one of them." I practically ran to my room, and to my relief it was empty. I put a hair tie on the door knob which was the roommate signal for I need some privacy can you come back later.

Jacob stood across the room from me obviously out of precaution, he was so angry he knew that he could accidentally phase and was putting me out of harms way. "I didn't want you to find out this way Jake I wanted to tell you in a gentler manner, but I forgot about the sense of smell thing. Carlisle Cullen is my biology professor, and Jasper is his aid and lab teacher. So naturally the rest of his family is here with him as well." He scoffed meanly "Bella that doesn't explain why YOU smell like a vampire, that only happens if one touches you....IT'S HIM ISN'T IT, YOU'RE BACK WITH THAT BLOODSUCKING ASSHOLE AREN'T YOU?" I was trying to stay clam but my angry tears overflowed. "NO JAKE IT ISN'T THAT AT ALL, WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME AND LET ME TALK!"

He huffed at me and tuned his back to me, and I let my anguish take over, and I cried so hard I lost all ability to speak, and was shaking from head to toe. I couldn't believe that Jacob thought I would just run back to Edward and not even tell him a word, had I hurt him so badly that he thought that I was a complete monster? I didn't realize that through my grief I was speaking my thoughts. "No Bella of course not, I am sorry it's just...he hurt you so badly and I hate him, I truly hate him for how he broke you, and I guess I am resentful that he has the part of you I would give anything to have." He was speaking gently as he pulled me into his chest. "I'll let you explain, and I promise I won't get angry again. I am sorry for going off like that. I love you Bella and I don't ever want to hurt you, I promised you that remember?"

I remembered, and I took a deep breath and explained to him everything that had happened in that first week of college. I of course left out all the details about my fantasizing about him and Edward, and using him to make Edward jealous. After he heard my story he gave me an amused expression, "Only you would pick a college and class that your leech ex-boyfriends father guy taught, and that his brotherish guy taught the lab, it seems that you are a giant magnet for the supernatural monsters. "Stop it Jake I hate the monsters, and leech terms." I told him with a nasty look. He nodded in apology. Even he thought he was a monster it seemed that the people ( well beings) around me all had the same problem seeing how wonderful they truly were.

We talked a little more about it and he wanted to know if I still wanted to be with Edward, and I told him "yes and no" because I still hadn't decided if I could forgive Edward, and I also felt that I owed Jake a better chance than I had been giving him. He seemed pleased that I didn't say yes. I told him about Carlisle's request and he called Sam, and they both agreed that Jake should meet with him. At about nine Cheyenne called and said she would be staying with friends tonight and maybe tomorrow so that meant Jake and I had my room to ourselves. Jake slept on the floor next to my bed holding my hand as it dangled which was so like him to do. I had to put ear plugs in to sleep though, and he thought that was really funny.

Saturday we went all around campus and talked and hung out, he told me about how all of the pack had been imprinting like crazy, I think he was jealous, and hopeful that he would imprint on me but I doubted it would happen if it hadn't already. We didn't talk about vampires or werewolves the entire afternoon we were just Jake and Bella and it was nice to have a few normal hours in my abnormal life. Saturday night while we watched a movie I thought about what I was going to do, who I was going to choose, and knew I needed a way to figure it out.

I looked at Jake and admired his good looks, and he looked at me for a very long time, he whispered "I know you think you love him, but I know you love me too. I can prove it." I just kept staring not knowing what to say, and we both leaned into each other our eyes never leaving each other's. Our lips met gently, and the heat of him sent shock waves through my body, at first his kiss was soft and careful. Then it became more urgent and passionate, he grabbed my waist and pulled me into him, and our tongues danced together gracefully. I felt the love in his kiss, and the love coming from my kiss. He picked me up and gently laid me on my bed, our lips never leaving the other's. I felt his hands caressing my entire body, and I was lost in him, and happy. All of a sudden all of my feelings just halted, and my brain and heart screamed for me to stop, in that moment I knew that I could never give Jake my full heart that it already belonged to somebody else. This made me hurt for the pain I knew this kiss would cause him.

As if he could feel what I was feeling he pulled away and jumped up. "Bella, I know, please don't say it I could feel it. I know that you love me but you can't give me all of your heart at least not right now, I am willing to wait as long as it takes. Please don't tell me that you are sorry either because I'm not I now know that you know what I can give you. I am willing to bet that he never kissed you the way I just did, and he never touched you that way. Someday I believe that everything that I have to offer will be enough and you will give me your heart, because you already have mine" I didn't deserve the love and friendship that he gave me, and I really wished that he could get over me, I knew it caused him so much pain and it tore me apart.

I didn't sleep well that night. I couldn't get the memory of our shared kiss out of my mind, I wished so badly that I could give Jake what he wanted from me, he deserved my love for all of the time and love he put into making me a semi whole person again. I knew I couldn't give all of myself to him, but I wasn't sure that I didn't want to try, knowing that Edward was so close and that he hadn't even tried to come see me and talk to me yet made the feelings toward Jake even stronger. I hoped that this weekend would help make my decision, instead it only left me with more questions and no answers.

Sunday, Jake and I just hung out in my room talking, at first it was really awkward, but we got through it and were Jake and Bella again. Even so I kept glancing at him and wondering, always wondering. We went to dinner off campus and decided to go back to my place and play video games. When we walked to my room I saw that the door was open again, and hoped that it was only Cheyenne in our room and not her five stupid bitchy friends. I walked in and was relieved that it was just her, she warmly greeted me.

I introduced her to Jake, and when their eyes met it felt like the world stopped moving for that brief second. I heard Jake gasp, and could almost see his life and hers become one, like they were two stray elements that found the only one who could stabilize their existence. I then realized with great horror what I was witnessing, and all of the pieces of me that Jacob had put back together crumbled instantly, and I stumbled to my bed and curled up drowning in the ocean of despair, and anguish. Even though I couldn't love Jake the way he deserved the loss of his love crippled me in that instant. "Oh no, why? I can't do this anymore, please just let me die."

I felt Jacob's warm hand on my face, and was vaguely aware of looking at him, "Oh Bella, I am so sorry...I never thought...please Bella I'm sorry." He sounded horrified by what had just happened, and I couldn't pull my self from the depths of the sea I was drowning in. "Please Bella talk to me!" I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't do anything but allow the darkness to swallow me, but then I heard something that pulled me up out of that darkness just enough to breathe.

Jacob POV

I couldn't believe what just happened in the moment my eyes met Cheyenne's, my life changed, and I had a new reason to live and it was her. I saw that Bella realized what was happening, and ran to her after she collapsed on her bed. She looked just the same as she had over a year ago when Sam had found her in the woods. My heart broke knowing that this time I caused this pain. I tried to get her to talk to me but she wouldn't it was like she wasn't there anymore. I didn't know what to do.

"What did you do to her, you filthy dog!!!" I turned to the door, and there he was the one vampire I hated more than all the rest, Edward Cullen. "Jake don't be stupid you can't make a scene, not here and not now." He pushed past me and went and kneeled at Bella's side "Bella, love I need you to talk to me sweetheart." The way he talked to her like she meant something to him made my blood boil.

"Get away from her you fucking bloodsucker!!" I went to reach down to grab him, but before I could he had me pinned to the ground. "No listen here wolf you need to get control of yourself, you don't want to hurt Bella or Cheyenne, now do you?" He then let me up and stood between me and both of them. I looked at Cheyenne and she was terrified "What....is going on?" She managed between sobs. I knew I had to explain so I took her to her bed and sat her down. "I will tell you everything you want to know just let me make sure Bella is alright first ok?" She nodded, not knowing what else to do.

"Bella isn't your concern anymore dog, look what you did to her!" Edward's voice was lethal but I wasn't going to let him tell me about hurting Bella. "What I did to her, you are the one who left her in the woods, and tore her very life away from her, she just barely started living again and what do you do sweep in and make her life a mess again?" I was starting to shake my anger was so severe. I knew I had to calm myself so that nobody was injured.

"Don't you see Jacob, that what you did was just as bad if not worse than what I did? Did you honestly believe that you would imprint Bella now or even in the future if you hadn't already in the last year? I know and appreciate how you put her back together after what I did to her, but all of those pieces shattered when she lost your love for good. Yes I know you still love her, but not the same way. You should have put her together and let her go once you realized she wasn't the one for you, she depended on you as the glue to all of her broken pieces, and now the glue is gone and she is broken once again, and the pieces that you added on your own are now broken with the pieces that I had broken." His eyes were sad and his voice was somber, and I knew he was right we both destroyed the woman we loved, and I knew now I couldn't truly make up for it.

"Yes you can Jacob, be her friend like she always wanted, and let her do whatever she needs to do to be happy." I knew what he was implying in that but the sight of her on her bed broken made me understand that her happiness was most important right now. "Jacob you need to explain a lot to Cheyenne before she goes into shock" He said nodding in her direction, and I knew he was right. I watched as he scooped Bella up into his arms and whispered into her ear. I knew then from the tortured expression in his eyes that he truly did love Bella, and was tortured by what he had done. Unintentionally my mind wandered to the night Sam had found her and all the days that I had spent with her when she was recovering from what he had done. He flinched and I remembered that he could see my thoughts and I felt bad for subjecting him to it unintentionally even though he needed to know what he had done. "You're right Jacob, I do deserve to see what I have done." He said quietly.

I sat with Cheyenne and explained everything, at first she didn't believe me but because of our connection she came around. I wasn't about to leave with the bloodsucker still here, so I held Cheyenne while she drifted off to sleep, and I never took my eyes off Edward who whispered to Bella all night. She eventually closed her eyes and slept, and he still whispered never stopping.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok, thank you all for your reviews. I know some of you thought the last chapter was too predictable while others didn't I guess that is the way of it though. This chapter isn't going to be predictable at least in my mind. Try not to get frustrated I am making a point. **

**I am starting to slow the pace of updates not on purpose, I just get sidetracked spending time with my husband and daughter, but I will try to at least post two chapters a week.**

**Once again SM owns Twilight and its characters I just own my ideas.**

Bella POV

I heard that beautiful familiar voice and it slowly pulled me out of the darkness I was drowning in. Once I reached the surface and could see clearly, my body did what it could to protect my fragile heart, and I gave into the weakness of my body and slept. I could feel the familiar embrace that I had ached for, for such a long time, and that velvety voice that just repeated "Bella love it will alright, I love you, I am here and I will never leave you again." I felt that this must be a dream because as much as I knew what the words meant, I knew they weren't true.

_He didn't love me he told me that himself, and he did leave me and I was so alone for so long. _Jake had saved me from my loneliness.

Then I remembered, the feeling as the world changed when Cheyenne's and Jacob's eyes had met, I felt his love for me, the love that held all of my fragile pieces together vanish, and in slow motion the pieces fell in a heap like unrecognizable shards of the most fragile glass. I remembered that was when I was thrown into the pool of darkness to drown, and I wanted to die in the darkness but that voice, it was a light, and just at the sound of it I could feel my glass pieces shutter and try to reassemble but I knew then that his words were not enough.

I was awake, but the feeling of the cold embrace I remembered in my dream didn't vanish, and the voice was still there just as strong. I really wanted this to be real but I was terrified to open my eyes and find the emptiness that my life had once again become. I dug deep and with everything I had I opened my eyes. and what I saw made the heat flash through my body like a fire, and I gasped "Edward?"

"Yes Bella it is me, I am here." His voice cooed these words and I had never felt more secure in my life. This feeling however didn't last long enough, instead the heat flashed through me once again with an unclaimed fury, and I felt the anger and pain rise like a tidal wave as it washed me over completely.

I jumped up with a fury I had never know before, "What the fuck, what are you doing here? Come to gloat in my face, cause me more pain? Come to see the pathetic human, and bask in the fact that nobody loves her, that she in unlovable?" I knew my anger was misplaced but I couldn't hold it back. I truly didn't know what had gotten into me.

Edward jumped up and looked as though I had kicked him in the balls, "What, why would you think that? I don't want you to be in pain, I don't want to hurt you I never wanted that, and I do love you I always have and always will. Don't you see?"

I heard Jake and Cheyenne stir from behind me but I didn't care, caring and kind Bella had taken a min-vacation and now angry vengeful Bella was on the loose. "WORDS, ALL OF THEM JUST WORDS, FIRST YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME, THEN YOUR BROTHER TRIES TO EAT ME, AND AFTER THAT YOU SAY YOU DON'T LOVE ME, AND NOW THAT I AM ALONE ONCE MORE YOU LOVE ME ALL OF A SUDDEN.....BULLSHIT!.........DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING MORON TO YOU?"

Jacob was now standing next to a stunned Edward looking at me like I had grown another complete head. "Bells, honey calm down. We all should sit and talk, it's going to be alright." I scoffed at that, and Jacob returned to Cheyenne and was holding here like he wanted to protect her from me HA.

"CALM DOWN, YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN JACOB BLACK? NOW THAT I KNOW THAT I WAS JUST A STAND-IN, YOU WANT TO PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IS NO BIG DEAL? I WAS WILLING TO TRY WITH YOU JAKE, AND LOOK WHAT I GET. YOU LEFT ME JUST LIKE HE DID." I turned and glared at Edward with my final remark.

My anger started to subside and the guilt came pouring in, I know I shouldn't have talked to them like that but did it make my words any less true? No, it didn't I was hurt, and angry. I didn't know if I would survive this, not this time. The familiar ache inside had turned into a blazing inferno, if I didn't know better I would have thought I had taken a cannonball to my torso the pain was so large an unending.

Edward seemed to suddenly realize that he was indestructible and walked over to me and guided me to sit on my bed, I was too tired to fight this time so I sat. For the first time I looked into his eyes and in them I saw the pain and guilt, and I knew he was hurting too. "Bella, I am so sorry!! I don't know what to do to make up for what I have done. As much as I despise the dog this isn't his fault it is mine so, blame me I destroyed you, and I will live with that for all of eternity."

Jacob walked over and shook his head at Edward, "No it is my fault too. I should have known better, but yet I put her in the position to fall again." I couldn't truly believe what was going on, they were actually arguing over who was to blame for my pain. If I had been completely honest with myself I would have known it wasn't either of their faults, it was mine I always knew better but I placed myself in harms way.

I turned around and stared blankly around my room, my gaze fell upon my frightened roommate, and I felt so bad for the position I had put her in, "Cheyenne...I am so sorry, I know this must be impossible for you, and I am so sorry that I put you in this position." I could barely whisper the words, my angry rant left my throat dry and coarse.

"Bella, I don't think that this is your fault, but I can't really elaborate further I'm still not convinced that this is all really happening." Her voice shook, and Jake held her into his chest. I knew that it would be fine for her, a guy like Jake would make all the fear go away with ease. I felt saddened because I knew my sun had moved on to another who would be warmed by him. Lucky girl.

Edward was still staring desperately up at me from his knees, and I knew I couldn't allow him to be in pain. "Edward, I'm sorry...I'm not going to say I didn't mean what I said, but I shouldn't have hurt you by saying it, and I want you to know something even though telling you puts my heart in greater risk. I love you, I always have, and I always will. My love is yours, but I'm not ready for it to be like it was before...we have to start over. I don't know if I can believe your words because obviously you have lied to me whether about loving me or about not loving me, whichever is still too much for me to bear. To me it makes more sense that you don't love me, so to believe that you do is almost an impossibility, but I want it to be true so I dare to allow my hope to seep through my logic."

I knew that I was babbling but I needed him to know what was going on in my mind since he couldn't see it himself. "Bella, I do love you, and I promised not to leave you ever again, so I will be here everyday proving to you that my heart is yours, maybe someday I can earn your trust, and maybe even win you back entirely. I want you to know that this time it is going to be different, I can't push you out of my life, and I am willing to give you whatever you ask of me, because my love for you overshadows the logic of keeping you safe."

I felt the hope inside of me burn brighter at his words, the hope to be his for all eternity the only thing I had ever wanted. "Whatever I ask, no matter what?"

I saw the pain and despair in his eyes, and my hope waned, but then he spoke the words I never thought I would hear. "Yes, even that, I can't exist without you so everything I have to offer is yours and I do mean everything."

I felt all of my shattered pieces start to fit back together like a puzzle, but angry Bella spoke up in the back of my mind. "Don't give in that easily, he has made promises before and broken those, are you stupid, remember that actions speak louder than words" I shook my head knowing that as crazy as angry Bella was, she was right I couldn't give in too easily.

"Edward like I said before this is all just words, and your words have been lies before, you know what they say about actions over words. I can't just blindly believe you, I need to be shown." I was speaking as calmly as I could but angry Bella was pushing against me.

"I'll do what it is that you want right now if that is what you mean, but not here for obvious reasons." His expression wasn't angry or pained like I would have expected. I laughed once at his total misunderstanding of my meaning. "No, Edward that's now what I meant. I can't allow for you to do that if I don't trust that your feelings are real, I need to know that you truly are mine for all of eternity before that happens, and I need to understand why...why you did what you did." I looked into his golden stare and felt the familiar dizziness taking over.

"Well, then you want proof that I am yours and you want answers I will give them to you, and I have a plan for that. It will take some time but if you allow it you will know that my words are true." His eyes smoldered and I saw something unfamiliar in them, and it made me shudder with an intense need.

"Ok I will let you do what you need to prove yourself, but we aren't going to be back to the way we were until I have the proof, you aren't staying here with me, and I would appreciate you not hanging around in the tree outside my room, give me space, and respect my wishes, and I think we will find our way back... hopefully." I finished with sadness in my voice, we would be together unless he truly didn't love me. "How did you know I was in the tree outside?" His voice full of surprise. I shook my head, "I didn't it was just my way of asking you to keep your distance, you were in the tree?....go figure."

I had all but forgotten that Jacob was still there until I heard his voice boom, "Wait!! All this talk about eternity, and giving Bella whatever she wants, even "that"...you don't mean, no no you can't mean. I won't let you do that to her, don't you remember leech that the treaty says "bite" not just kill. You will not do that to Bella." He was so angry he was shaking.

"Butt out Jake, it's none of your business, it is my choice it is what I want." I was glaring angrily at Jake, and angry Bella was enjoying it.

Jake turned to Cheyenne, "I have to go I will be back I promise." He turned toward the door and in a deadly voice he spoke to Edward "This isn't over bloodsucker, I won't allow you to kill her even if she is technically living afterwards, this is not over not by a long shot!" Then he turned and darted out the door, a few minutes later we heard a howl that sounded like it was right outside the window.


	9. Chapter 9

**I really truly want to thank all of you, I have been getting distracted and your positive words keep me focused so I can keep writing.**

**Ok I wanted to let you all know about one of the best Edward and Bella stories out there, "Stripped" by punkfarie. This is a long story, and has lots of lemons, but the story is so well rounded. It has dynamic human interaction there is love, anger, pain, despair, hope, romance, and comedy. This story is all human, and it will make you laugh, cry, and furious but you won't want to stop reading. It is in my favorite list. **

**Once again I don't own anything Twilight SM does, I just am enjoying myself.**

Jacob POV

I reached the forest at the edge Bella and Cheyenne's parking lot just in time, I was so furious I could barely control my phasing. My mind was on fire, I felt that I was finally complete with Cheyenne, but hearing Edward promise to give Bella whatever she wanted. I knew after listening carefully to the words they were saying that he was planning on taking the life of my best-friend, turning her into a monster just like him.

"_Stop Jacob, you need to stay where you are, Cheyenne is your responsibility you need to protect her_." Sam must have been patrolling in my absence.

"_You don't understand it isn't just about Cheyenne, that bloodsucker has ruined my life, and Bella's. I wouldn't have hurt Bella if those monsters didn't exist I could have been with her and made her happy."_ I could feel my mental voice push into hysteria.

"_Jake, I don't want to force you to stay, but I will. I understand exactly what you mean, but Bella made her choice, and fate made yours. Look, I will be there in an hour, I am going to bring some others with me, I think that they can help Cheyenne and even Bella. I may not like Bella's choice but she is hurt by the choice made for you and she needs to be comforted."_ He was on the verge of using his alpha command with each word, but I saw in his mind the pain he had gone through when fate chose Emily for him and he hurt Leah.

"_Fine, I will do it but I swear if those leeches push me it won't end well_." I growled and stated to howl.

"_No, you won't, we will discuss this, and then make a rational decision as a pack, and a community. They haven't broken the treaty, and neither will you."_ His alpha command vibrated through my entire body.

I turned and did everything in my power to calm myself enough to phase back to my human form. I managed, and slowly pulled my pants on, I had forgotten to bring another shirt. I paced around at the edge of the forest trying decide what I was going to do, I wanted nothing more than to be with Cheyenne, but the guilt pressed on me as I saw the image of Bella broken this time because of me. I had to fix this, and I had to help her be truly happy. I shuddered at the thought because I knew where her happiness lied and I just couldn't accept it.

I walked down the hall towards their room, and the disgusting stench of vampire burned my nostrils, I let out a low growl. I can't believe I left the two women that meant everything to me alone with a bloodsucker, I am a moron. Poor Cheyenne, I don't think she fully believes what it is going on. She probably thinks that she is having a really long nightmare. Having the people that were coming with Sam would hopefully help her with her transition. I knew it wouldn't be hard for her, she is of Cherokee decent and they share a lot of the legends that we have, in fact some of theirs are even scarier. I just hope that those ones aren't true like all of ours seem to be, that would be just fuckin beautiful.

I scoffed at the thought as I entered the room. Edward was sitting on Bella's bed staring at her like she was the most precious piece of artwork, the look of awe made me vomit a little in my mouth.

"Oh, Jake you came back, thank you....Please don't be mad at me I don't think I could take it..not after...well you know" Bella was hugging me tightly around my waist, and I knew I could never be angry with her for long.

"I talked to Sam, and he felt it was best that I stayed here, he and a few others are on their way, he has a plan to try and smooth this out." I rolled my eyes and my voice sounded more sarcastic than I meant to. The ridiculousness of making any of this smooth was almost too much. I saw Edward start to laugh while nodding his head, apparently he agreed.

"It is ridiculous Jacob, but I understand what Sam is after, and it shows that he has learned a lot from his pain, and has overcome his hate." He was still shaking his head, but then he went back to staring at Bella. Seriously it was like somebody staring at a UFO or me in wolf form for the first time, ha, it was freaking me out. I saw him roll his eyes at that thought but he went back to his silent Bella worship.

Cheyenne came over to me and her expression was like a child's who had just seen their first horror movie. She looked at Bella as she spoke, "This is real isn't it? I remember growing up how I thought it would be cool if the old legends were true, but I never imagine they truly were. I mean I thought that they had lessons to be learned in them, but the lesson was just what it seemed, to be careful and watch out for the evil. Jacob in my culture men who become animals are evil, and the worst possible omen. Seeing a...a...vampire in my room proves that. The worst omen followed by the most terrifying monster." She collapsed into rolling sobs, but wouldn't let me near her.

Bella came up to her, and held her tightly, and rocked her gently. "I'm not going to tell you that your legends are a lie, but you have to understand that in this area the werewolves like Jacob are protectors. They keep all the humans safe, safe from the bad vampires. I know that the idea of "good" vampires is hard to understand, and apparently so is the idea of "good" werewolves, but there are good people and bad people so this is the same. Edward, Jasper, Alice, and the rest of their family truly are "good" vampires, they do the same as Jake and the wolves they protect us humans from the vampires that have no respect for humanity and life." Bella looked lovingly between Edward and myself.

I couldn't believe that she actually thinks that my family and his are the same, bloodsucking killers. We have never taken a human life, and I know they have, well maybe Carlisle hadn't but the rest had. Cheyenne's breathing slowed, and she looked at all of us with desperation.

"Bella? Jasper, and Alice are vampires too? How can any of them protect humans when that is what they need to survive?" I couldn't believe it, did she just say that I ate people. This day is just getting better and better. What next was she going to accuse me of infecting people during the full moon, was she going to shoot me with a silver bullet?

"Cheyenne, I don't eat people I eat food just like you, I am human just like you I just have a few extras. Also as much as I hate to admit it, the Cullen's don't eat people either, that is why I can't kill him. They feed off the blood of animals, they really are different from the rest of their kind. Not that I won't kill him if he breaks the treaty." I let the anger enter my voice letting him know I didn't forget what I had heard earlier.

Bella walked over to me and whispered in my ear, "Is Sam bringing Billy? I think that he can make her understand by telling her the legends that he shared with me and the others. He might even understand the legend of her ancestors enough to explain the differences." I sighed and looked around the room. Edward was looking at Bella with more awe than before, almost as if she was a baby taking her first steps. I didn't know how much more of his lost puppy behavior I could handle. I knew Bella was right, my dad could help Cheyenne, and maybe she needed him before anybody else could make her understand.

I pulled out my phone. "Hey dad...yeah I'm better...no I didn't...yes she is wonderful...dad stop, I need you to come and tell her the legends....it is very important.....she is a Cherokee descendant and...ok ok yes that is why I want you here....no she hasn't tried to shoot me...no no holy water...just hurry up." Apparently her legends were more cliche and brutal than I understood. I was exhausted because I didn't sleep all night and the stress was paramount.

"Jacob you need to sleep before they all get here, I will call my family and we can make a meeting of it." Edward's tone seemed too paternal and he was still staring at Bella like she was some sort of goddess.

"Seriously, she isn't made of gold give it a rest, and so help me you touch either of them while I sleep the treaty won't matter." I knew that he wouldn't, as much as I hated him I knew he wasn't the monster I wanted him to be. Sleep came quickly, and I felt Bella cover me with a blanket, and put a pillow under my head.

Bella POV

I watched Jake sleep on the floor of my room, and it seemed so normal, but I knew it wasn't and that my life once again was a cyclone of supernatural hysteria. I asked Edward if he understood what Cheyenne was so freaked out about, and he told me what he had saw in her mind about the legends she grew up with. It seems that her legend were a lot like Hollywood's rendition of vampires and werewolves. They both however were more brutal in their feeding off of humans, and they believed they would kill off or infect the entire planet with their "plague of evil" . I felt so bad for her. When I found out about all of this I knew the cliches but I wasn't so terrified by them because I hadn't grown up fearing them.

I still wasn't allowing myself to fall into Edward like I desperately wanted, every time I would start to angry Bella would take over. Edward must of thought I was having some sort of episode because I would go from nice, and loving, to psycho and bitchy. I just want this to be real, and I want to know that he loves me, and wants me. This was going to be an internal battle that I hope he would win, because even though I didn't want to tell him, I was already his Bella again. I knew that holding myself back from him was going to kill me, and possibly hurt him, but I think the pain would be motivation for both of us to do this right, and make it right.

He called Carlisle after Jake fell asleep. The family was on its way, but before he hung up he handed me the phone and told me Alice wanted to talk to me. "Hello?" I really wasn't in the mood for this but it was Alice.

"Bella, are you ok? I wish Edward would have listened to us about the no contact." I interrupted her "No, Alice I am glad he came. Even though I'm not ready to be with him again I still needed him to help me with the shock of what happened with Jake."

She sighed, "Poor Cheyenne, is she ok, wait have you guys eaten, are you skipping class? I will take care of you guys today is not the best day. I will get you some food, and I will have Rose get the notes from your classes." She was so happy to be in her element of doing things for me, and even for Cheyenne.

"Ok, Alice that would be great. Jake needs food too, well crap if all of them come which I think that they might... we are going to need a lot of food. I don't want you to have to take care of that though." I said it even though I knew she wouldn't listen.

"Don't be silly, you know how I love to buy food, I don't get to very often, and the fact that I get to buy a lot is even better. I am so excited. Well, I better go so that Rose and I can catch up with the rest of the family. Esme is so excited to see you. Oh..yeah..if you want this whole making Edward work to get you back thing to work you'll have to be careful with your emotions around Jasper. Jazz will try to not think about them, but Edward will try to use him to cheat. I love you be there soon." She hung up.

Thank God for Alice I never thought about Edward cheating through Jasper. I knew Jasper wouldn't do it on purpose but I had to prepare my emotions, and only let the ones about everybody else show through. I especially needed to keep my dirty thoughts at bay, I would be so humiliated if Jasper sensed the lust that I had toward Edward.

Edward, Cheyenne, and I rearranged our tiny room so that there would be enough room for all the people that would be coming, I really didn't see how this was going to work in such a small space. I was very worried that my tiny room would soon hold vampires and werewolves, and hoped and prayed that they would keep their anger under control. We set the beds up against the walls like couches, and drug in chairs from the study room. As far as I knew a meeting like this was unprecedented, even when Carlisle had met with Ephraim Black there were only four total involved.

I heard a knock at the door, and knew that what happened next could effect my life in so many ways, I knew I would be thrilled to be reunited with my entire lost family, but I also was excited to see the wolves I loved them as well. I just hope that maybe my love for them all will make this work out despite their natural feud.

I opened the door, and a procession started, and I heard hello's directed at me some were loving and friendly, and a few were cold and hateful. I didn't pay attention who said what but I knew in the back of my mind who was angry and who had an opened mine. I embraced my lost family, and was thrilled to finally see Esme.

The atmosphere was so tense you could cut it with a knife. When I thought the animosity was going to suffocate me relief came in the form of a small pixie like vampire with several huge containers of restaurant take-out. The hate disappeared and everybody dug into the food. I knew the food boost wouldn't last. Billy took Cheyenne, and Emily went with. I knew that was for several reasons.

"I have brought the written version of the treaty, and I think we need to go over the details, and decide how to cover our lands with you living here and not in Forks." Sam's voice was diplomatic but you could hear the anger in his words. I knew that this was the only reason I hadn't been asked to leave.

The damn treaty would be the death of me, well actually not, but I wouldn't let that stop me from getting what I wanted, and I was prepared to stand up to all eight wolves crowded in my room.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you for your reviews, I appreciate it. I wish I could find a Beta so that my writing wouldn't come off so rough. **

**I would like all of your opinions on whether I should add more Jake or let him drift out of the story?**

**I am going to be slowing down here for the next couple weeks, I am trying to write a one-shot for a halloween contest.**

**Once more I do not own anything Twilight it is all SM**

Bella POV

"I have brought the written version of the treaty, and I think we need to go over the details, and decide how to cover our lands with you living here and not in Forks." Sam's words hit me like a wall, and I felt like I had done a belly-flop off the high dive. I wasn't sure how this would go, but the anger I saw in the wolves made me glad that Cheyenne wasn't here, it would save her the trauma of seeing a phasing wolf, and being too close and getting injured.

"Yes, Sam I am very well aware of how the treaty is written, I too have a copy, and please do not forget that my family and I helped write it." Carlisle's voice was extremely kind, but you could detect that he wasn't going to be intimidated. Jacob looked at Sam with a desperate rage, apparently they knew something the rest of us didn't.

"Why don't the two of you share with all of us what the problem is?" Edward's voice was calm but menacing. All eyes were on him, and the curiosity was apparent of in all their eyes, even the wolves didn't seem to know what was going on.

"Sam, don't, they don't need to know, this isn't their business. Keep out of my head leech." Jacob was starting to shake, and Edward and him were less than two feet apart, both of them growling.

I stepped in between them and put my hand on Jacob looking into his eyes, and I started to realized that my Jacob wasn't there anymore, and I was so afraid. I wondered if I had completely lost him when fate chose Cheyenne for him. "Jake, please tell me what is going on?" I realized my voice was choked with tears from the fear I felt looking into the eyes of a stranger.

"Fine, I think that we should just wash our hands of this whole mess, get rid of the treaty, and get rid of them. If you still plan on becoming one....well......then....we...should...destroy you as well." Jacob had tears running down his beautiful heartbroken face while he said theses words. I felt as though the world was spinning like a top, and heat was rushing to my head. I heard the gasp of everybody in the room, and vaguely felt myself being moved behind a cold body.

"I hate to disagree with you Jacob, but if that are your thoughts..well...I do believe it is all of our business. I was under the impression that Bella was your best-friend and am a bit confused why you would say such a horrible thing about her...to her." Carlisle looked how I felt sick to my stomach. All eyes were going back and forth from my face to Jacob's, it looked like Carlisle wasn't the only one thinking that.

"I'm sorry, Jacob isn't speaking on behalf of the pack, or the tribe. He is still upset because of the events that transpired last night and this morning. I do have to ask, do you plan on turning Bella into a vampire?" Sam had placed himself in front of Jacob so that if he lost control of his anger he would be the only one in the line of danger. His voice was calm, but accusatory.

"If Bella decides that is what she wants and my entire family agrees, then we will respect her wishes, but I do not believe that this is an issue at the moment." Carlisle was looking thoughtfully at Edward when he mentioned his family having to agree.

I still felt hurt and confused by Jacob's words, but angry Bella made her way to the surface after being discussed like I wasn't even in the room. "I don't need permission to live my life the way I see fit, and that includes my becoming a vampire, it is my choice, and I will be damned if I am going to sit here acting meek while my life is being discussed. MY LIFE, MY CHOICE! If I want to become a vampire I will do it, even if I have to search the planet for a vampire that would agree, but that won't be an issue will it?" My face was less than two inches away from Edward's as I finished my angry tirade.

Everybody in the room took a step back and look frightened of me, the only frail human in the room. I felt a surge of pride, and had to admit angry Bella had a certain way about her.

"Well, Jacob I am going to have to say that I don't think that the treaty covers this, and I personally don't think that the Cullen's should be held responsible in this case, it is her choice and she understands what she is getting herself into." Sam looked around the room, and everybody nodded in agreement except for Jacob and Leah. Leah wouldn't agree because she hates me and vampires, so me as a vampire is her worst nightmare.

"You can't make that decision and you know it!!!" Jacob's control on his anger was slipping, and everybody in the room knew it.

"You can't have it both ways Jacob, and I won't give up my position!" Sam was angry but you could tell he had great control.

All of the Cullen's except for Edward seemed confused by this exchange, I was at first, but then I remembered what Billy had told me over the summer. Jacob was the true Alpha of the pack, but he didn't want it when Sam offered, and now Sam was most definitely not offering. Billy had also said that all final decisions dealing with the treaty had to be approved by the true Alpha.

Before I knew what happened I was picked up and behind seven crouching vampires, and Jacob was phasing mid strike, and so was Seth blocking Jake's strike. I screamed not because I was scared but because I was surprised. Both wolves were growling, and Seth seemed to be injured by the strike. Sam and the rest of the pack grabbed Jacob.

"Stop this, stop this right now, do you know how lucky you are that you didn't hurt anybody?" Sam's voice was high with hysteria. I thought that it was ironic that he didn't just say how lucky they were I didn't get hurt, because I was the only one that would be seriously affected.

Leah was bent over her little brother, checking to make sure that he wasn't seriously injured, she turned and gave me a death look, then turned that look onto Jacob. "If you hurt my brother being a hormonal ass, I will rip out your throat, and barbeque your testicles!!" The anger in her voice was extreme, and I was afraid that she would phase too, and my dorm room couldn't fit another horse sized wolf. I looked around my room and realized that all of the chaos had caused my door to be half open to the outside hallway.

I saw the figure of a person slowly walking past, and I heard a gasping noise. I got up and darted around my protectors to the door, and locked it. When I turned back to face the occupants of my room I saw two giant wolves, seven pale vampires, and six native americans; all of them looking at me like I had just shit a rainbow. Then I heard a knock on my door.

"Bella? Cheyenne? Let me in please." I immediately recognized the voice as my RA Christy's. I felt a boulder sized knot form in my stomach, and the heat cross my body as the hysteria swept over me. "I know you are in there, please answer or I will go and get my keys, I saw what you have in there." My room filled with low gasps

Sam and Leah were quietly pleading with Jacob and Seth to phase back, and I think the rest of us were praying that it would work. How was I going to explain two giant monstrous wolves, and thirteen people just acting like it was not big deal? I heard her knock once more and it was more like banging. "Answer this door right now!! Fine I am going to go get the key!" Then we heard her walk away.

All of a sudden the room filled with every voice yelling, begging, and cussing for the two wolves to phase back. We then heard the jingling of keys, and everyone sat trying to make it look like a social gathering, except there were two fucking huge wolves in the middle of my room. I ran to the door and slipped out quickly before she could unlock my door and enter my room.

"Hi Christy!" I tried to act surprised to see her but I am not that good at acting and she wasn't buying it. "What are you doing here? I just ran home to go the bathroom before my next class."

"Bella, please. I know what I saw when I walked past your room." She was giving me that look that you get from a parent when you have disappointed them.

"What..what did you see in my room?" I tried to cover the desperation in my voice, and hoped that Jake and Seth had phased back.

"You have a dog in there..I can smell it, and I saw it on your bed, and I heard it growling. You know as well as I do that you are not allowed to have pets in your dorm room." She sounded like she was getting pissed off about the situation.

"Umm...no....I don't have a dog...that is silly, I would never risk my scholarship by doing something stupid and getting kicked out of my dorm." I was trying anything to make sure that she wouldn't see the ridiculous scene that was in my room.

"I am sorry Bella I do not believe that, now I am going in to your room, and you know that I don't have to have your permission." She was towering over me with her big muscles, and I felt a little intimidated.

"Ok, fine, but we have a few friends visiting so my room is a bit crowded.....just so that you know." I wanted to tell her that she was making the mistake of her life, but how the hell was I supposed to do that.

I opened my door so slowly that it was almost painful. I looked in and thanked God, there were only human forms in the room. I saw that Edward was concentrating hard on Christy, he must have been trying to see a way out of whatever would come next. I didn't see Jake or Seth anywhere.

She gasped as she saw the sheer number of people in my room, it truly was unbelievable. "Ok, where did you hide it?" She was addressing the entire room. Nobody spoke, and she just started searching the room. She looked under our desks, in our dressers, in the fridge which everybody thought was weird, she walked over and threw open Cheyenne's closet, then she walked to mine. As she went to my closet I noticed everybody become tense.

"I know you are hiding a dog in here somewhere." She said while she swung my closet door open. I saw what was inside before she did, and I almost lost control, what I saw was the funniest damn thing I had ever seen.

"What the Fuck!!!???" She was so surprised by the site of Jake and Seth. They had phased back but they apparently didn't have extra clothes with them. Jake was completely naked, and trying to cover himself with my unicorn stuffed animal, and Seth well seth was wearing a pair of my spandex work-out shorts, and a pink wife-beater. My RA was so dumfounded she didn't move an inch.

"Why are there two guys in your closet, and why is one of them naked?" She sounded like she had just seen them rob a bank. While she was stunned I handed Jake a pair of sweat pants that I had stolen from Charlie, and he quickly pulled them on but kept a tight grip on my unicorn. She then screeched "Oh my God, were you two having sex in her closet, that is just...just...ah"

Jacob and Seth's faces went from uncomfortable to horrified by her accusation. The rest of the room erupted in hysterical laughter, I joined in because this was just too much. "I demand that you tell me what is going on right now, or I will call campus police." She was pissed that we all had laughed.

"We, were just playing truth or dare, and Jake didn't get to finish out his dare before you found him in the closet, he was supposed to put a dress on." Edward was speaking through giggles, but I could tell he must have pulled that idea right from her brain.

"Well, that's fine I guess, and I am sorry for barging in I really thought I saw a dog, I still smell one but I didn't find one, so I will be going now." She ran from the room and her face was flushed.

I quickly locked the door behind her, and sighed the biggest sigh of relief in all my life. "Ummm...Seth maybe you should keep that outfit it looks better on you than it does me." The laughter continued, but gradually started to die down. They explained that they barely managed to get them to phase back and into the closet before we came in the door, that my slowness helped. I knew that the light hearted banter wasn't going to last, because the situation was quite serious.

"Well, Sam I don't think we will come to any major agreements today, but I think that we would like to give you permission to patrol our area in Forks, and we will patrol this side of the mountains. If we do return to Forks we will let you know so that we can resume the old lines. I also think the issue of Bella being changed won't be a real issue for now, and we can re-address it when that time comes. Jacob I think that you need to take some time and get used to everything that is going on so that no decisions are made out of anger and resentment. My family and I will be leaving now, and Bella will be coming with us...if she wants that is." Carlisle looked hopefully at me, and I nodded in agreement.

"Yes, I think that would be best, Bella knows how to reach me if you need to. We will stay here a bit longer so that we can welcome Cheyenne to our family." Sam looked at Jacob with a look that told him to keep his mouth shut. "It was nice seeing you Bella." He gave me a quick hug as he walked over to Jake and whispered something in his ear.

I walked over to Jake and hugged him around the waist, and looked up at him and whispered, "Jake, please don't shut me out, you are my best-friend and I don't think I could live with you hating me." He patted my back but didn't speak to me, or look at me. I walked over to Alice who locked her arm in mine and lead me out the door.

I looked back at Jake praying that I hadn't lost him completely, and walked out my door with my lost family, and I didn't know how to feel, but for the moment I was content.


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you all for your reviews, I am really thrilled that you are enjoying the story. I want to thank my Beta Brooke, she is awesome, she makes my babbling sound pretty darn good.

I will try to do as many updates as I can in the next week, but I will be taking some time to do my one-shot. I am doing a colab with one of my favorite authors so I am super psyched.

Once again I don't own anything Twilight, SM does I am just having a blast.

Edward POV

Usually as an immortal, life goes by with little to no incident, but in the past ten days my life has hit me with so many emotions that I felt like my head was spinning. It was so hard not to be over-protective of Bella with so many young wolves crowded in her tiny room.

I, however was not ready for Jacob Black to lose his temper the way he did, and was thankful for Seth Clearwater. He wasn't trying to protect me, he was trying to protect Bella. He is such a kind person, that I hold no animosity towards him, not even for the sheer fact that he is a wolf. I just hope that my allowing Bella her freedom in that ill-fated meeting will show her that I am serious about my love for her, and how I am going to do things differently this time.

I do have to admit that her angry outbursts were very...well... sexy. I am so new to this kind of attraction that I felt for her, I didn't know how to keep it from "popping up" in an inopportune moment. I discussed it with Jasper, because I knew he wouldn't embarrass me with jokes like Emmett, or make me feel uncomfortable with medical terms like Carlisle. I sure as hell wasn't going to talk about it with the girls. That just would have been torture.

Jasper seemed to think that my physical limitations with Bella the last time, are a big part of her not wanting to accept me back immediately. He also believes that somebody with my self control should be fine with pushing the physical boundaries. I was hesitant to believe that but I told him I would give it some real thought. I guess that was true though. I needed to really think about it. All of today, I was going out of my mind not being able to hold her, and kiss her, or touch her in any way at all.

Things were not made better when she chose to ride with the others in Carlisle's car. My un-beating heart broke at the idea she didn't want to be with me, not even in the drive to our house. Jasper must have felt my pain because Alice and he decided, at the last minute, to ride home with me. Alice kept giving me sad glances and I knew she was trying hard not to speak to me.

I looked at her and gave her the encouragement she was looking for. "Alice, I can see that you want to say something, I can't hear your thoughts because you are hiding them. Just spill it." I realized that I hadn't really been listening to the thoughts around me since we walked out of Bella's room.

Alice sighed then rattled off , "Edward, I am so sorry. I want you to know that this will work out. No, I haven't see it, but I feel it. She loves you, and anybody with eyes can see that you love her." She looked back at Jasper.

Jasper nodded at her and looked at me, then in his thoughts he answered her silent pleas._ "She puts off more love for you than I have ever felt a human give off, but there is a lot of doubt and fear in her too. You need to handle this carefully. Just get rid of the fear and doubt and all that is left is love......and lust. Ah crap, I didn't want to think that." _

I laughed once, because Jasper usually doesn't have mental slip-ups with me. Alice had taught him well. "Thank you, both of you. I am going to need all of you to help if I am going to pull this off." They both smiled and agreed to help in their thoughts. I just needed it to be tomorrow so that my plan could start, but for tonight I would do what I could to show her my love.

I called Carlisle to make sure that they didn't stop to get her any food, because I wanted to show her that I remembered her needs, and her likes. I stopped off at a restaurant that I had taken her a dozen times our first summer together, and I ordered her all of her favorites. The spinach dip appetizer, garlic bread sticks, creamy pesto and cheese ravioli, and tiramisu. I also had Alice and Jasper go and pick up her favorite grape sparkling apple cider. I knew this was a tiny effort compared to what I needed to do, but I hoped that she would begin to take down her walls, seeing that I cared to remember a happier time.

When we arrived at the house, I felt that electric charge I had always felt for her in the beginning. When I had tried so hard to not touch her, and this time it burned through my whole body. I hoped that winning her back wouldn't take too long because I think that I might die from the need to touch her.

When we walked in the house she was curled up on the couch in front of the fireplace which burned warm and bright. She seemed so at home, snuggled into Emmett while Esme and even Rosalie talked with her. I looked at Rose with surprise and suspicion. Rose looked up at me.

_"I won't make this any harder. I have thought it through and my reasons for disliking her were ridiculous. I would like the chance to tell her before I tell you though so please don't look for it in my mind."_ I saw the truth in her mind and decided to giver her the privacy she asked for.

Bella looked up at me, and our eyes locked for what felt like hours, and then she looked away with that beautiful blush in her cheeks. I would miss that when I changed her. I can't believe that I was so ok with changing her, but looking at her now I knew I would never deny her wishes, and my selfishness wanted to keep her forever.

I raised the bags of food in my hands. "Well, I hate to break up the cuddle-fest, but I brought some food for Bella. She has to be starving by now." Her beautiful eyes looked up at me, and I saw for only a moment the love that I longed for.

Emmett jumped up pulling her along. "Sweet, feed the human, it's kind of like feeding time at the zoo." Everybody laughed, but Bella just looked at Emmett and shook her head. It was like they were having a silent conversation,but all Emmett was thinking about was trying human food himself.

Bella walked over to me and grabbed the bags and walked slowly with me to the secluded dinning room. She pulled out the food, and smiled up at me with tears in her eyes.

"Thank you Edward, it was very kind of you to do this." Her eyes were still swimming with tears, and I saw the love in them once again. I felt like I could melt on the spot, looking into the eyes of the only person who matters in my life.

"You're welcome. I just want to make sure that you are happy and taken care of. That is all I want for you, love" I could barely contain myself from scooping her up and holding onto her forever.

Bella POV

As I sat at the dinning room table, eating my favorite foods, I struggled to keep from jumping into Edward's arms and telling him that all was forgiven. Because even in this moment, angry Bella was trying not to forgive him as well.

I knew that all was truly forgiven, I just wanted time to make sure I wouldn't be hurt again, and I wanted to know the reasons behind my original pain.

I spent the rest of the evening talking to my family. We laughed, and hugged, and spent several hours telling stories. A lot of the stories were of the silly things they had done in all their time.

Edward didn't share much, he just watched me, and I saw the love and pain in his eyes. I knew I wasn't being entirely fair keeping him out of arms reach. I just wanted everything to be right this time, and he needed to prove that I was going to be heard in our relationship. So far, he was doing a great job.

Alice drove me home at eleven, and she let me think in the quiet. I thought about how he promised to change me if that is what I want, and when it had been brought up during the meeting, he didn't look upset and tormented at the idea. I knew that, in itself was proof of his love.

I just was so afraid of the the hole in my chest reopening. I knew that I believed him and everything he said, even though logic was against the idea of him ever loving me. I truly hoped that his plan would erase all the doubts I had, that I would be able to give myself back to him.

Alice walked me to my room, and I was relieved that only Cheyenne was there. I said a quick goodbye to Alice, and went to the showers to get ready for bed.

I took my time in the shower allowing the almost too hot water to relax the stress from the day out of my muscles. I knew that a hot shower wasn't going to take it all away. While in the shower I thought about all the chaos that had rained down on my life, and didn't know what to make of it all.

I was still hurt about Jacob's imprinting, and his harsh words. I also was happy for him, he was able to let me go and I hoped that in that we could be friends like we used to be; once he stopped hating me. I thought about how being with the Cullens seemed so natural to me, and how it felt like I truly belonged there.

My mind drifted to how Edward and I used to be, and how I would like us to be. I also thought about how hard this all must be for Cheyenne, and figured that I should try to spend some time with her to explain my perspective. I knew Billy and the others would have explained things, but I knew that their version was very anti-vampire and I wanted her to understand my side.

I put on my favorite sweats and went back into our room. I decided to ask her if we could make plans to talk.

"Cheyenne? I was wondering if maybe tomorrow you and I could go have lunch...and....talk....I want you to understand..you know...from my view." She looked over at me and I could tell she was hesitant, but there was curiosity in her eyes.

"Yes, I think that would be fine, how about the pizza place just outside of campus at noon." she whispered the words, and I nodded in agreement.

I turned out the light next to my bed, and surrendered to sleep. I was scared of what my dreams would hold, but I hoped that the screaming nightmares wouldn't return. As I drifted to sleep, I thought about the look of love in Edward's eyes, and fell into peaceful dreams about him and I in a happier time.


	12. Chapter 12

**Ok you guys, I am really sorry about the gap in updates. I was spending time with the family, and planning my one-shot with my partner Mistyhaze420. You should check out her stories, they are awesome. She just finished An Imperfect Love, it is a fantastic story. **

**Once again thank the heavens above for my beta Brooke, without her I would publish babbling nonsense.**

**I am going to try to publish this, and maybe 2 more chapters immediately, that way I can work on my on-shot guilt-free.**

**This is a long chapter, but I think that might be the way of it from here on out. **

**Once again Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight not me, blah blah. **

**Bring on the beginning of the plan to woo our dear Bella.**

Bella POV

I woke to my alarm buzzing ridiculously at 8:30 a.m. I groaned and turned it off, even though all I wanted to do was smash it into tiny pieces. It was Tuesday, and I had only two classes today, but the lunch date with Cheyenne was all that my mind could think about.

I got up and rushed through my shower, and ransacked my closet. I was frustrated, for some reason I didn't want to wear any of the clothes in there. My class was at ten, so I had to hurry or I would be late.

I gave up on the closet and walked to my dresser to see if it would hold any interest. On top there was a denim button-down dress, leggings, and a pair of flat Mary Jane's. On the top of this fantastic outfit was a note.

_Bella, I figured with everything going on clothes weren't a top priority. I bought this outfit for you a long time ago, it is perfectly you. Also wear your hair in a twist with the plastic clip in your make-up drawer. I know you like to wear your hair down to "hide" but I kinda hoped you'd be over that by now. I love you, have a great day. Let's hang out soon. Alice._

Alice's thoughtfulness brought tears to my eyes. I must be losing it, I am overly emotional theses days.

I put the outfit on and was surprised that it was quite warm for being a dress. I figured that must have been part of Alice's plan, so I went and opened my curtains. It was a lousy day. The sky was dark grey, and the wind was blowing at a steady medium pace. It looked cold, even for this time of year.

I did my hair in the twist that Alice had suggested, and then I put on a little bit of make-up. Just enough to give my face a refreshed appearance. I looked over myself carefully, and had to admit I looked pretty damn good. Leave it to Alice to know just what I needed to look my best.

I walked by the door, and saw a new coat on the coat tree. It was a light tan waist length jacket, with a fur ruff around the hood, and also along the sleeves. It was light weight, but extremely warm. I felt very cozy in it. I took a deep breath, and recognized the scent. Alice must have had Edward wear it before she hung it up in my room. Sneaky little pixie.

I walked the short way to my library science class. The entire walk I breathed in the heavenly smell. The smell brought me back to the wonderful dreams that filled my night.

****************

_I watched the dream as if I was just an outside observer, getting to see something wonderful and rare._

_Edward and I were in his meadow. He was wearing a beige suit, with a light blue tie, and vest. I was wearing a light and flowing white lace dress; it lightly hugged my curves. We weren't there alone, his family was there, and so was mine. When I looked further around I saw chair_s,_ a flowered arch, and an aisle way. I realized that were were at a wedding._

_I looked further around and realized that Edward and I were at the center of everything that was happening. It was our wedding. It was beautiful, and peaceful. _

_I watched as we said I do, and kissed a soft passionate kiss. I vaguely remember watching myself mingle with all the others that were there, but all my attention was on Edward, always on Edward._

_It seemed like hours and hours before all the others left the meadow, and Edward and I were all alone. I watched as him and I walked through the meadow, talking, laughing and kissing._

_At the edge of the meadow there was a huge white bed that was canopied with white gauze. On the bed was hundreds of pink, red, and light blue rose petals. All around the bed burned dozens of candles which were the same colors as the rose petals. _

_I watched as Edward took the surprised me over to the bed. We kissed, and held each other for what could have been an eternity. The kisses turned more urgent and deep, and he turned and whispered, "I promised, so let's try."_

_I then watched as we slowly undressed one another in between passionate kisses. The kisses turned into love making. _

_It was strange to watch myself make love for the first time, but it was beautiful._

_Our motions seemed choreographed, we moved together gently, and passionately. Every movement was filled with love and need._

_I watched as we made love under the stars and the moon, and we continued until the faint glow of the morning filled the beautiful meadow. _

_As the morning came, I fell asleep curled in his stone embrace, and the look on my face was pure bliss. _

_This is when I heard a buzzing noise, and the meadow became faint, until I woke to the annoying sound of my alarm._

_**************_

I was lost in remembering my wonderful dream that I didn't realize it had began to snow lightly. I was at the library entrance shaking the dream from my head, and the snow danced around me. I couldn't fucking believe it was snowing in September. At least Alice had thought to dress me warmly for this horrific event.

As much as the snow horrified me it was very beautiful, and I couldn't help but become lost in its quiet tranquility. I snapped out of my snow induced trance when my phone beeped, telling me that it was ten.

Crap! I was going to be late to class. I hurried into the library, and ran to the end where my class took place. I grabbed the only empty seat, while the elderly instructor gave me a very disapproving look. I smiled up at him in apology.

He continued his lecture about the reference section of the library. It seemed that he didn't even care that we were there, he talked but never gave us any attention.

I finally relaxed, and tried to take notes on his lecture, but there was no point. A library is a library, how much did I possibly need to know, that I wouldn't already know from the years of experience I had exploring various libraries.

Libraries in Phoenix were three to four times the size of this one, so I figured it was a safe bet I could figure everything out without a weekly lecture.

I snuggled into my jacket, and was smelling the shoulder, when I glimpsed the person sitting next to me. He was staring at me, and I gasped as realization hit me.

"Edward?" I couldn't believe that I had sat here for the past ten minutes and hadn't noticed that the person that made my world spin was sitting right next to me.

"I was a little worried you were skipping class for the second day in a row." He whispered down to me with a mischievous look on his beautiful face.

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, "No, I was just lost in thought, and taken by surprise with the snow." If only he knew what I had been thinking about. This made my blush deepen and I felt like my face had ignited.

He raised a curious eyebrow, "Those thoughts must have been quite interesting to make you late to class....By the way, you look beautiful today." He tucked a small stray hair behind my ear.

If I could have blushed more I would have been on fire. Once the fire died down, I became curious. "What are you doing here?" I was off my game today, I should have thought of this much sooner. Maybe the snow was causing mental slowness. I was beginning to feel like a window licker. What else had I missed today?

"I am attending my ridiculous library science class, just like everybody else in here." He gave me a coy smile, and I knew there was something he wasn't telling me. I hoped that my brain would be getting off the short bus soon. I needed to be completely aware, not just wondering through the day in a mental fog.

I felt the rusty wheels in my brain start to spin, and my mind finally started catching up. "Is this part of your plan? Are you just in this class with me.....or all of them? All of them I'm guessing." Most of my verbal spill was for my own good, not really for him.

"You're a quick one today." He answered with definite sarcasm in his voice.

"Screw you." My voice said with fake irritation. Apparently I wasn't the only one to notice my window licking comprehension.

I swear if he could blush he would have, I had never seen an embarrassed expression on his face before, and this was definitely embarrassment. I couldn't figure what had brought that on. Then my lagging mind caught up, and I of course blushed enough for the both of us.

So it seemed, that Edward had his mind in the gutter, and of course this sent mine there straight away. I briefly remembered watching as him and I made love, and the magnificence of his nude body, on top of mine. His voice broke through my thoughts.

"Bella, class is over. What were you thinking about?" He looked really curious, and I was so happy he couldn't read my mind.

"Oh, nothing. I was just trying to remember the dream I had last night." That part was true, but there was no way I would tell him what the dream contained.

"Must have been a good dream." He said as he ran a finger down my blushing cheek. If he only knew how good of a dream.

Damn it Bella quit, we have a plan now don't screw it up. I shook my head to clear my dusty mind. I needed to be strong, and keep him at a better distance. We could talk though, that is what friends do. I just didn't know how much talking my hormones were going to allow before they took over, and angry Bella and me would be observers of what the hormones have planned.

I tried to be casual and friendly without letting anything slip. "So, I guess I will see you in my biology lab tonight. Is it weird having your dad and your brother as your teachers?" That was a question friends could ask right, yeah ok. I can do this.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, "It should be interesting, especially since I have more biology background than everybody except for Carlisle. My being there is most likely going to make Jasper very nervous. I'll help him out where others can't hear though, I want him to succeed in this it is really important to him, and his control."

It figures that Edward would know more than poor Jasper but I felt like he had done an exceptional job the first week, and with Edward and Carlisle's help he would only get better.

"You know, you can't cheat in that class, Jasper will know if you pluck the answers from his head." This though gratified me, finally somebody could call him on his mental cheating. I wanted to see how he worked things out for himself.

He laughed "Bella, I have taken this class a dozen times, I won't need to cheat to get an A." This sounded too much like a dare to me.

"I'd make a bet with you that I could get just as good of a grade, but I think I might need you to help me study, so that wouldn't be a fair bet." I sighed in defeat. How I would love to be better at one thing.

"How about you have anybody else in my family help you study, and that way the bet is on. Let's see if you can get a better grade, my family's help is fair considering the years of experience I have."

I thought this through for a moment, and it was too tempting to pass up. For once I would have a reason to delve into my studies. "Alright, your on smarty pants." I stuck out my hand and we shook on it.

I hadn't realized we had been standing in front of the library for such a long time, I glanced down at my phone and I had just eight minutes to get to the pizza place I was meeting Cheyenne at.

"Crap, I have to go. I am going to be late to lunch with Cheyenne. I'll see you later, I need to go catch the bus." I turned to run to the bus that I saw approaching the stop at the corner. I felt his hand grab my arm and I was whipped around facing him.

"I'll give you a ride, it is faster, and cleaner." He wrinkled his nose as he nodded toward the passing bus. Well I guess I didn't have a choice now. Ok, friends accept rides from each other right?

"Ok, thanks. I am meeting her at the pizza place on the north end of campus." I said as we walked to his car and he held my door open for me. What a gentlemen.

"Don't worry she is going to be a few minutes late, her class ran over, she isn't very far away from here now." He informed me with a flash of my favorite smile. "So, what exactly are you going to tell her?"

I really hadn't thought that through yet, and hoped that it would just come to me at lunch. "I'm not sure. I just want her to understand my side, and your family's side. I know that the wolf interpretation would make you guys, and even me look bad. I have to live with her, and I want her to know the whole story." I still couldn't think of how to tell her any of this without scaring her even more.

"Bella, just keep in mind that she has her own legends, and those are pretty scary, so she might not believe what you say, but at the least she will listen. She has a kind mind, and I think that will help a lot." He looked just as nervous as I did about the conversation.

"Should I ask her about her legends? Maybe that will help me understand where she is coming from." I was desperate for any help that he could offer.

"You could, but I doubt that she will openly tell you, what she will share will be edited greatly. Her tribe believe that talking about the old stories can bring bad luck, and cause great harm. She thinks that everything that is going on now is some sort of proof of this." His voice was barely a whisper.

We arrived at the pizza place, and I had one request for him, "I am going to have to be honest with her about you and I, and I would appreciate it if you would try really hard not to look into her thoughts about this conversation. I want my feelings to be private until I am ready to share them with you." I hoped that my eyes conveyed my desperation.

"I promise, I won't listen" He said with sadness in his beautiful topaz eyes.

I went inside the pizza place, and it was packed full of college students. I immediately began to feel unsure about this place for our conversation. I then remembered something Charlie had always said, that crowded places held secrets better because everybody was too involved in themselves to notice what happens around them. I put my name in with the hostess, and waited. Five minutes later I was seated at a two person table in a corner by the empty patio. I had just opened my menu when Cheyenne came and took her seat.

"Hey Bella, how is your day?" She asked her voice friendly but there was an undertone of uncertainty.

"My day is good, I can't believe that it is snowing though. I hate snow." I figured weather talk is a good way to start an awkward conversation.

She laughed and shook her head in disbelief, "You hate the snow, but you chose to go to school here where it snows at least three months out of the year."

She had a point, and I guessed this was a good opening into the tougher area needed to be talked about, "Well, I didn't want to be far from my dad, I got a scholarship here, and well it was close enough to where the memories of Edward and his family are...." I trailed off knowing that she most likely had been informed about the terrible nightmare I had been through the past year.

"Billy, Sam, and Jacob told me about that, I guess I can understand why you held on so tight. They make it sound like you were manipulated into the relationship you had with Edward, but I snooped my first day here, and saw the picture you had hidden of him. I can tell how much you love him, it is almost like your very life essence is tied to that love. I would hold on to it if I felt that way too." She looked up at me with shame in her eyes.

I was shocked that she was so understanding, and I really didn't mind the snooping I probably would have done the same thing. "I have never thought of it that way, but you're right my life is tied to the love I have for him and his family. That is why I held on so tightly. I didn't want to remember because the pain of being abandoned hurt so much, but I couldn't forget. If I had forgotten I thought that my life might slip away as well, and that would be worse than the pain of the memories."

I could feel fresh hot tears rolling down my face. My new realization about why I held on so tight brought a sense of closure to the pain. I knew that I had to make sure that Cheyenne never viewed myself of the Cullen's as evil, she was a person that I owed. I owed my new sense of freedom to her, and her deep insight to my situation. I guess a fresh perspective never hurts in these situations. I had only heard the perspective from men, and wolves, and they all were a bit biased.

I grabbed her hands and held them firmly between mine, and looked deeply into her eyes. "Thank you, you don't know what your words mean to me, I finally am free from the prison of fear and pain that I had locked myself in for so long." The tears were still flowing and occasionally dripping onto the red table cloth.

She just nodded her head in response. I wiped the tears away and continued on with new inspiration. "I know that you have been told that all vampires are evil. The Cullen's are as far from evil as you can get. They work hard everyday to make up for what was not their choice. They try to fix the wrong committed by their kind by helping save as many people as they can. They don't feed from humans, and they live side by side with them. It is a daily struggle fighting what would come naturally. They form emotional bonds with people, especially me, and I truly believe that the bond that I share with them all makes their self-denial easier and worth something."

I paused to let her think about the seriousness of my words then I kept going. "I fell so deeply in love with Edward and his family, that I wanted...well still want to truly become a part of their family. I believe that is the only life for me, I was meant to become one of them. Therefore I can't believe that their are evil and soulless. Everyday they make decisions to be good and to do the right thing. If you are evil or even without a soul I don't think you would be able to chose to be good over evil. That in itself is why I am so ok with becoming one of them."

She looked up at me and her expressions was hesitant. "Bella, I want to believe you, but the old stories warn about their kind, and even about Jacob's kind. I hope that the stories were over zealous, and that my paranoia is misplaced, but that will take time. I don't think that you have an ounce of evil in you. I do think you are quite unfortunate to be such a magnet for the supernatural. That being said it would only make logical sense for you to join it instead of being followed by it. I harbor no ill will to Edward and his family, they are quite nice. I just need time to adjust to this new life. I am in love with Jacob, even though it goes against my people's beliefs, so I will not judge you for the love you have for Edward"

I felt so blessed that not only had I ended up with a wonderfully nice roommate, but I now had somebody that I could talk to about all of it, and she wouldn't judge me. She was in the same position I was. I wasn't even bothered by her declaration of love for Jake.

"Bella, why do hold yourself back from the love Edward has for you?" Her voice was full of supportive curiosity.

I told her the entire story, from the first day I saw Edward, up until he dropped me off for our lunch meeting. She laughed, gasped, cried, and smiled through all of the parts of the story that made up my life the way it was now. She understood how I felt like I was never good enough for him. She thought that it was obvious that he had lied when he said he didn't love me or want me. Part of me knew her words were true, but I still was scared of the pain returning. She understood all of it, and I felt like I had finally found the one person who could look at my situation objectively.

She didn't tell me what I wanted to hear, she told me what she thought, and in that I found what I was searching for. I found peace in what my life is and what it was, I found that the pain could only hurt me if I let it. I knew I was ready to move forward and leave the past where it belonged.

Her and I took the bus home together, and talked about Jake and the wolves, and I did my best to explain what I knew, and I was so pleased at how much she genuinely cared about my best friend. He finally found somebody who would give him all of her heart.

Jake showed up at our room twenty minutes before I had to go to lab and took Cheyenne out to dinner. I knew that I would be seeing a lot more of him from now on. He handed me a letter that I tucked into my desk to read when I got home.

I sat in my darkening room, and watched the snow fall and melt as it hit the wet ground. I thought about what I wanted, and what I was going to do about it. I decided I wouldn't rob Edward of his plan, so I would give him three weeks, and then I would cave. I just hoped I could last that long. I desperately wanted to feel his arms around my body, and his cold lips pressed against mine.

I heard a knock that lifted me from my thoughts. I answered the door, and it was Edward. "I thought that you might like a ride to class, it is pretty cold, and the bus only runs every thirty minutes now." Thoughtful as ever.

I grabbed my coat, and we headed off to class. Three weeks I told myself over and over. Just three weeks.


	13. Chapter 13

**Well, thanks for the patience. I will let you get to the story. This chapter kind of came out from nowhere. I hadn't planned this, but the story just took me here. I hope you guys like it. I just wanted our Bella to know that it wasn't just Edward who loved her and needed her in the family.**

**Thanks again to Brook, she is the best.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight not me yadda yadda.**

Bella POV

Edward opened the car door for me to get in just like the gentlemen that he is. This always made me blush, I wasn't used to chivalry. I knew that if he kept up the small romantic gestures I wasn't going to make the three weeks that I had given myself. Three weeks seemed like an eternity, but I didn't want to ruin his plan, and I wanted to see what he would do to work for me.

He sighed as he pulled out of my parking lot. "So, how did your lunch with Cheyenne go?" I knew he really wanted to know what her reaction was to my being involved with the "evil" vampires.

"It went really well, she isn't going to pre-judge, and she made me realize a few things about myself. Talking to her really helped me. I am lucky to have her in my life." I hoped that he wouldn't press for information about what I had come to realize.

He looked scared, and nervous. "Did she make you realize that we are evil monsters, and that you should run the other way?" I hoped that we weren't back at this again, but his tone said that he was afraid of this happening. Maybe he was changing for the better.

"No, she just helped me understand my pain, and what I needed to do to deal with it better." I was surprised at how easily these words left my mouth. I wasn't ashamed of my pain, it was a part of who I was, and who I would become. Talking with Cheyenne helped more than I realized. I smiled to myself at this new revelation.

He sighed, and turned to look me in the eyes, I started to feel dizzy like usual. "Bella, the pain is my fault, and I will do whatever possible to help you heal. Please don't think that your pain is just your responsibility, living with it as long as you have is burden enough. I am happy that she helped you with that, but let me try to remove it." His eyes were smoldering and begging silently.

I sighed, "You're right, the only way it will ever go completely away is with your help. I just hope that it is enough. I can deal with the pain, but only you can take it away." I felt such a staggering need to kiss him it was almost painful.

He placed his hand on top of mine the rest of the ride to class, and I didn't pull away. I didn't have the strength to deny such a small but powerful gesture.

We arrive to class before the others arrived. We talked with Jasper briefly. I took a seat at my lab table while Jasper showed Edward his lesson plans, and Edward made suggestions. When others arrived he sat down at my lab table, but not next to me. I thought that was strange, but oh well.

The lab for the day was practicing use of all of the lab equipment, so that we were familiar with it, and would be less likely to make errors. Every time Edward or I would reach for different objects our hands would lightly touch, and the magnetic pull between us was tangible.

A few times, I would watch his movements, and my mind would take a dip in the gutter. I would always blush when that happened. I also noticed when it did Jasper would look over at me, with a smug smile on his face. This only made me more embarrassed.

We finished lab forty five minutes early. We waited until everybody left, and went to talk with Jasper.

"So, have you asked her yet?" Jasper asked Edward cooly.

"Asked me what?" I asked, hating when the talked about me when I was standing in front of them.

Edward sighed and rolled his eyes. "Well, the girls are taking a cooking class, and would like you to come over for dinner.....everyday.....but you don't have to......you could even invite Cheyenne and her puppy." They both laughed, and my delayed brain realized what he meant.

"HAHA, don't call Jake that, it isn't nice. Yeah I would love to come over for dinner. Maybe not everyday though....well most days.....I mean they already cook great, and a class is just going to make it better. Can't let good food go to waste." My stomach growled as if by command.

Jasper put his arm around me, "Oh, darlin' the food won't go to waste if you don't eat it.....Emmett has been eating it....we are actually afraid it might kill him if he keeps it up."

The three of us laughed hysterically at this. I knew Emmett had a fascination with human food, but didn't know he would take it that far. "Well for Emmett's sake, I will eat the food so that he doesn't die." I said in a matter of fact tone.

We all three piled into Edward's car, and drove to the Cullen's house. Except we didn't go to the house I had already been to.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

Edward answered with a smile. "Esme found us a new house, it is a bit bigger than the house in Forks. It used to be a governor's mansion in the 1800's. It is, to say the least, a bit over the top." He and Jasper nodded in agreement about this. "By the way, you have your own room. Esme is going to want your input about the decor she chose."

I shook my head in disbelief, my own room. Did I really want that? I did, and then I didn't. I was mostly overwhelmed that they wanted me to be a part of the family so much they gave me my own room. "I really don't know what to say, that is so nice, and thoughtful."

We got to the edge of the city, and turned down a heavily wooded road. It was a drive that was line with large trees. The trees had lights hanging between them. It reminded me of a drive that you would see on a southern plantation. When we pulled up in front of the house I gasped. It was magnificent.

There were huge white pillars that held up the wrap-around porch. The front of the house had dozens of large classic windows. It was a three story haven. The outside was white, and it looked exactly like a southern plantation. The circular driveway was cobblestone, and lined with beautiful silver lights. This place was straight out of a classical novel. I only imagined that the interior would be just as grand.

We walked in through the double doors. The entryway made me feel as though I was a character in Gone with the Wind. It was open and beautiful, I felt underdressed. I felt as though I should be wearing a ball gown, and lots of jewels.

My stunned daze was interrupted when Esme ran up to me and gave me a gentle hug. "Isn't this place marvelous?" She was so proud of her architectural find.

"It is beyond words, I am speechless." I stuttered in reply. This would definitely make turning down the room they had for me impossible.

I was then hugged by Alice, and then Rosalie. I was still confused by what seemed to be genuine affection from Rose. "Come on Bella, you can see the house later, we have dinner ready for you." The three of them drug me off through the house. Jasper and Edward shot me looks of sympathy.

I noticed as we walked to the large formal dinning room that most of the house was roped off, and hidden behind white plastic drop-cloths.

The dinning room was bigger than most houses I had been in. The cherry dinning table was eight foot long, and surrounding by ten large and cushy chairs. On the table there was a buffet of food that could feed a small army. I gasped as I took in the entire sight. "WOW!!!" Was all I could manage.

Alice chided in with happiness radiating from every word, "We have been cooking since this morning at seven. We cooked every recipe from the book our teacher gave us. Some of them we hadn't practiced, so you'll have to let us know what we need to fix."

"Thank you, this is so unnecessary. I do know you will insist on doing this often, so just so you know you don't have to make this much food every time. I would like to not weigh five hundred pounds." I laughed, as Rose handed me a huge plate piled high with each of the different foods.

"Bella? When you are done, do you think that you might stay over...I have something I want to talk to you about?" Rose asked, in such a frail voice I could hardly believe it was her speaking.

I thought about it for a second, it was past ten already, and I like to be in bed by eleven thirty, before my eight a.m. class. I didn't have any clothes, and I was sure the bed thing was going to be hard to deal with. "Ummm....I'm not sure...I don't have any clothes....and you guys don't have beds."

Esme answered my thought "Oh honey, you have a closet full of clothes and I have completely furnished your room. I just hope you like the style I chose. If not we can fix that later. You also have your own private bath."

I was overwhelmed by everything, the food; my own room, my own clothes, my own bathroom. I really didn't know how to feel. "You really shouldn't have done all of that, I mean it's great, but....you really shouldn't have."

"Don't be silly dear, you are a part of our family, whether you are with Edward or not. You still belong with us, and we take care of our family. After dinner, Rosalie can show you your room. Maybe someday you will come to live here...permanently." She was looking back at where Edward now stood in the arched doorway.

I ate two platefuls of the most wonderful food I had ever eaten. Once I was finished Esme ordered Edward and Emmett to take the leftovers and put them into freezer containers so that I could take the meals to my dorm for Cheyenne and I to eat there. I was sure that Jake would eat his fair share if nobody told him where it had come from. I also figured I would take a dozen of them to Charlie, so that he didn't die from eating nothing but pizza and fried fish.

My three week deadline was becoming harder to stick with. His family had taken me in so completely that I felt like I belonged there, and never wanted to leave. I wondered if this wasn't a part of his plan. I knew they loved me, but they usually reigned in their need to shower me with things. I am sure he told them to do whatever they wanted to make me feel like part of the family.

Rosalie took me up to my room at eleven. I was tired, but too curious about my room, and what Rose wanted to talk about. My room was incredible. It reminded me of a rustic cabin. All of my furniture was made from knotty pine logs. The pieces looked old and handmade. The bed was a four poster with beautiful rails. From the rails hung silk curtains that were burgundy and silver to match the comforter, and window treatments. The were tied back to each rail. The king-sized bed had a dozen pillows, all beautiful and matching the magnificent fabric of the comforter. The burgundy color made the room fill with warmth, and the silver embellishments made the room dazzle.

At the foot of the bed, there was a large fireplace with a beautiful curved sofa in front. The fire was burning bright and warm. I was in total awe of this charming rustic getaway, that I almost forgot that Rose was with me.

"It's pretty awesome isn't it?" She said appraising the room. "I usually go for lighter and brighter, and so does Alice and Esme, but I have to admit this feels really cozy."

"I agree, it is perfect. It has rustic charm, but there is so much that contains feminine beauty." I still couldn't believe that this room was meant for me.

"I think maybe you should go shower and get ready for bed first, then we can talk." She said as she nodded her head toward my bathroom.

"Ok, I will only be a few minutes. Thank you Rosalie." I hoped that she knew I meant thank you for everything. Not just the food, and the room, but for the way she didn't make me feel unwanted anymore.

"Don't worry about it, now go shower, I'll be right here when you get out." She said in her usual bitchy voice, that made me giggle at least the old Rose was there somewhere.

I walked through the large wooden door into a spa retreat. The bathroom was huge and everything was white, sand color, and green. It looked just like a bathing room in a luxury spa. There was a huge Jacuzzi tub surrounded by candles, and flowers. There was a separate stand in shower that three people could easily fit inside of. The toilette was hidden away in an enclosed closet of sorts.

I went to turn on the shower, and was confused, there were buttons everywhere. I read them all and realized it was a shower with heads coming from every direction, and it had aroma therapy steam options. I turned all of the options on and was lost in a strawberry paradise. I had chosen strawberry because I loved it so much. I was sure that was why it was one of the aromas offered. Edward was definitely in on this.

I showered quickly, and never felt cleaner in all of my life. I also felt like I could stay up for the next week and not be drained of energy. I found a beautiful set of silk pajamas on a rack by the mirrors. I hurried and put them on. I took the towel out of my hair and threw it into the hamper on my way back to my bedroom.

"Did you have a nice shower?" Rosalie asked as she patted the edge of the bed for me to sit with her.

"That was the best shower I have ever had." I still couldn't believe everything that was happening, and how I hadn't gotten upset about it yet.

Rosalie sat behind me and brushed my hair softly. "Bella, I am sorry for the way I treated you in the past. I have done some thinking, and with Em's help have come to the conclusion that I was wrong." She sounded so sincere it made my heart flutter.

"Don't worry about it, I understand. Having me around doesn't make your lifestyle easy." I said softly

"I think that you misunderstand, Bella that isn't why I behaved so poorly." She then continued on telling me about her human life, and the horrific night that she was changed.

I cried silent tears for her. I couldn't believe that her fiancée would rape and beat her to death like that. She then explained how badly she wants to be human to have children. She also explained how her hating me was because I wanted to throw away my humanity and what it could offer. Before I could cut her off , she told me that Emmett had told the family that I was meant to become a vampire, and that keeping it from me would be the same as it was for Rose to lose her humanity.

I thought all of this through while she braided my hair. Emmett was exactly right. Robbing me of eternity with this magnificent family is the same as robbing Rosalie of the chance to become a mother. I wished that somehow she could have her wish, but knew there was no way.

We talked about a lot of different things, and I felt as though I had gained a really good friend in Rose. Her smart ass nature was just as comical as her husband's and I could see why they were made for each other.

A light knock came at the door, and Edward came in. "I think Bella should get some sleep, she has class in four hours." He didn't seem surprised by the new closeness of Rose and myself. I figured he either heard the conversation or saw it in her thoughts.

I hadn't realize her and I had talked for so long. "Four hours, boy I am going to be a zombie tomorrow. Oh well, it is just Romeo and Juliet. Good night Edward, good night Rose. I curled up under the warm blanket.

As Rose left the room she turned back and whispered "I hope that you forgive him someday. He made a huge mistake, but you two are made for each other."

I just nodded as she left the room. I listened to the fire crackle as I fell into a deep slumber.

I dreamed about the day that I would let Edward back in, and about the feel of his arms wrapped around my body. His smell, his voice, and his soft kisses. I dreamt about the love that I felt for Edward erasing all pain that had ever been. I knew that I would be happy, and that my life belonged with him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you guys for keeping me on my toes, and keeping me motivated.**

**Once again Brook is the best.**

**I don't own Twilight, SM does yeah yeah.**

Bella POV

I woke to the sound of my lullaby playing throughout the large house. The music was light and refreshing. Hearing the piano was much more pleasant than my usual alarm. I sat up in the enormous bed, and gazed around the room. I still couldn't believe this was mine. I also couldn't believe that I wasn't upset about it. I did feel awkward being taken care of, but I loved this family so much that it didn't make me angry in the least.

I climbed out of my...yes my bed, and quickly remade it. I looked around trying to find a clock. I finally found one on the wall next to my bed. It was 6:45 a.m. I couldn't believe that I had gotten so little sleep, but felt so totally rested.

I heard an impatient knock at my door. "Come in Alice." I said knowing exactly who was on the other side.

She danced through the door. "I thought I was the psychic. How did you sleep?"

She stopped and hugged me. "I knew you would want to help me with my wardrobe, and I slept great. I might need some coffee though, to survive all day on a couple hours of sleep."

She grabbed my arm and drug me off to the closet. "I don't want you to be mad, but I got you all of these clothes. I sorta figured they could be a late birthday present." She opened the door to my closet, and I nearly passed out.

The closet was the size of my bedroom at Charlie's house. There was one wall just for dresses, one for pants and shorts, one for shirts and blouses, and one for coats and jackets. In the middle was an island with hundreds of shoes. To my relief most of the shoes had no heel or a low heel.

I appraised all of the clothes, and was thrilled that most of it was clothes that I would actually wear. I think that Alice finally reconciled my need to be me with her need for me to be fashionable. "Alice, this is great. I...don't...know what to say. There is no way I could ever repay you." I could feel tears filling my eyes.

"Don't worry about it. Rose does her own shopping, and shopping for myself isn't very exciting anymore. You aren't a fan of shopping so it's great for me. You are my sister, and I want to do whatever I need to keep you in my family." She was looking at her feet, and fidgeting.

I laughed, "You guys are all working me over. I can't find a single reason to not spend all my time here." Three weeks was going to feel like three lifetimes.

"That is the plan." She giggled, while I dressed in the outfit she had handed me.

She did my hair, and make-up at vampire speed. I truly didn't feel bothered by it. Her natural pace just seemed so natural to me. I knew I was at home, and hated myself for denying it.

"Oh yeah, the boys were jealous that we made you food, so they are all making breakfast for you.....it might be edible.....I'm sure Edward will make sure they don't screw it up too much." She shook her head while we walked downstairs arm and arm.

"What is with the fascination of feeding me? I can feed myself you know." I tried to sound annoyed but the words were still wrapped in love.

"It is hard to explain. Maybe someday you will understand." She told me while pulling me into the large dinning room.

The boys made a reasonably sized breakfast, it was still too much for just myself to eat. I ate the eggs, bacon, fruit, and biscuits with gravy. The food was very excellent. "You guys are all really great cooks, maybe you can give Charlie lessons sometime."

All of the boys looked really excited that I liked their cooking, and Edward came over to me and asked, "Are you ready for class? We are going to be late if we don't leave now."

"I need to go get my books from my dorm." I said with a guilty expression on my face.

"Don't worry about it. Rose got them this morning when Cheyenne woke up." He handed me my bag with all my things inside. They really has thought of everything.

We drove to English in silence. When we arrived we were the last ones to come in, so we grabbed the two open seats in the back of the room. We both actively participated in the discussion of Romeo and Juliet.

The class would be finished with the play by Friday. Before the class ended, the professor told us to start thinking about the written assignment that would conclude this unit. She explained that she wanted us to write our own romantic tragedy, and to remember that there are more tragic events in life than death. Didn't I know that too well.

Edward raised his hand, "Can the characters be of the supernatural world?' he asked with fervor in his voice.

"Yes, as long as you include romance and tragedy your characters are yours to create." She said in a whimsical voice.

Other students asked questions about the assignment, but I was lost in my own thoughts. I had lived a romantic tragedy, and knew that my story would be perfect. It would fit the assignment, and it gave me an outlet for my feelings. I knew that I would have a hard time presenting it to the class, but Edward needed to understand where I was coming from.

Edward POV

This assignment is the perfect opportunity for me to give Bella all the answers that she seeks about why I left her. I will also be able to show her that my love for her is true and deep, and always will be.

I knew this was the opportunity I needed to use my flair for the dramatic, and my ability to convey my thoughts and feelings. I knew that with this silly class assignment, I could finally win my Bella's heart. That we could start our forever sooner than I had thought possible.

I looked over at her and she was lost in deep thought. She must have been planning her story as well. I was excited to hear what her mind would create.

This day, has turned out better than I could have expected. I would spend all of my free time putting together my story, well our story. I want it to be perfect, and I want her to finally see and understand.

Bella POV

Edward and I walked silently to our next class. I was still planning my story in my head. I knew the story by heart but I needed it to be perfect.

We stopped at the coffee shack outside of the psychology building. I got the largest sized mocha. I needed the boost! The new assignment and my lack of sleep were starting to catch up with me.

This time we were in the first group of students to arrive at class. We found seats close to the front. I pulled out my book, and my notes. "Umm...I might need your help in this class....I am already lost." I whispered leaning toward Edward.

"I think I can do that, and I know an empath, he has a great handle on psychology. I figure you will pass this class with no problem." He patted my hand and winked at me, he straightened up in his seat as the lecture began.

I listened intently to the lecture hoping that some of it would make sense, but none of it did. I was definitely going to need Edward and Jasper's help. This class was turning into the bane of my existence. I felt like I was listening to a foreign language.

The class passed so slowly it was painful, and I was thrilled when it was over. "I'm glad that torture is over." I said while we walked out of the classroom.

"It wasn't that bad. You just have to try not to over think it all." He said in a know it all tone.

"Well we have two hours before history. Do you think that you could translate psychology for me then?" I asked with desperation in my voice.

"Of course, we can go back to your room. Rose brought leftovers with her this morning so your fridge should be packed." His voice was full of pride.

We went back to my room, and I made myself a plate of the leftovers. They were just as good today as they had been last night. I sat at my desk, and took notes on Edward's explanation of what we had just learned in psychology.

When we finished the tutoring session I put my stuff away in my desk. When I opened the desk drawer I found the letter from Jake inside. I looked over and Edward was busy typing something on his laptop, so I decided to read the letter.

I opened the letter, and unfolded the page. I took a deep breath before I let my eyes focus on the words that were written in front of me.

Dear Bella,

I really don't know what to say to you right now. I am angry about everything that has happened. I am angry that fate took what we could have been away; angry that I reacted poorly when it happened; and I am angry that HE came back. I know that you will return to him in time, that is just how it is supposed to happen. I am trying to deal with that. I know you aren't meant to be with me, but I hate that you are meant to be with him. You are still my best friend, and I don't want you to be in pain anymore. If being with him makes you happy then I will not cause problems. I still can't give my permission for them to break the treaty and take my best friend away from me. I know you think that you will be the same, but I just can't take that chance. Maybe in time I will change my mind, but for now I can't do it. I know that you will be angry at me, but I would rather you be angry than dead. I love you Bells, please forgive me.

Jake

I wiped tears away from my cheeks, and knew that I couldn't stay angry at Jake forever. He had his reasons for how he was feeling. I just needed to change his mind. I remembered my conversation with Cheyenne, and hoped that I could get her help with Jake.

"I think that after class tonight, I want to stay here. I would like to spend some time with Cheyenne, and Jake if he is here.

"That's completely fine. I'll let the girls know not to cook dinner tonight." He said while he sent a text message.

We went to history and sat through the boring lecture, and both of us were grateful to get to Carlisle's class. Carlisle and Jasper greeted us quickly before class started. I listened intently to the lecture, determined to beat Edward in this class.

At the end of class, I talked briefly to Carlisle and Jasper. Edward told them of our wager, and they both said they would help me. Edward dropped me off at my room, and told me that Alice would like me to spend tomorrow with her. I agreed, and went up to my room.

I sat in my room alone, doing an outline of my story, and thought of ways that Cheyenne and I could convince Jake to lighten up.

Cheyenne got home as I was finishing my outline. She was alone, and she looked a little sad.

"Cheyenne, are you alright?" I asked, I hoped that Jake wasn't being dumb.

"How did you do it?....How did you manage to be apart of this world and have friends that weren't?" She said with sadness in her voice.

"Well...I didn't have many friends outside of this world. The ones I did have I would schedule time with whenever I could. I think the most important part was learning who was worth keeping as a friend outside of the world that I was most comfortable in." I hoped that my answer helped her.

"I just don't think that my friends, you know the ones that are here a lot will accept such an out of the blue relationship like I have with Jacob. I just don't like feeling like I am going to have to make a choice." She was pacing the length of the room shaking her head.

I sighed, "If they can't accept that Jake is important to you them maybe they aren't as goo of friends as you thought. It is hard to make new friends, but in this world the friends that you make are irreplaceable."

"Thanks Bella. You are right if they can't accept Jacob, then I can't accept them. He makes me happy, and I am more connected to him than I even understand." She smiled and sat at her desk.

"Speaking of Jake, I don't know if he told you about his refusal to allow my change in the future, if and when it happens. I was thinking about what you told me yesterday. I was sorta hoping that maybe you could talk to him, and maybe make him more open to the idea. I know he won't say yes right away but I need him on that track." I said sheepishly cringing, hoping that she would help me with my stubborn best friend.

"Yes, I will talk to him. I would have before but I didn't want to stick my nose in your business. I definitely think that it is your choice, and he shouldn't tell you how to live. I will talk to him until I am blue in the face if I have to. He is stubborn isn't he?" She laughed shaking her head.

I laughed "More than you know, he gives stubbornness a new dimension."

We both talked and worked on our homework, turned out she was a psychology major so she helped with the rest of my psychology homework. We finally gave up on talking and studying at eleven. Both of us went to the showers, and got ready for bed still talking the entire time. Talking and showering is a very strange combo, but it was fun.

I told her about my room at the Cullen's and she asked to see it someday. I told her that they would love if she came over. She also said that Jake was not to know about it. I understood why. Until we could break him of his Cullen hating ways it would be best that his knowledge of his girl hanging out in their house was limited.

I told her about my three weeks deadline, and she decide to bet that I wouldn't last. She figured I would cave by the end of next week. We bet bed making and vacuuming for a week.

Our conversation eventually died down after we turned out the lights and we both drifted off to sleep.

I dreamt that Jake was trying to destroy the Cullen's and myself, and the pain and terror felt so real. I should have know that my nightmares wouldn't give up without a fight. i woke once gasping for air, and when I managed sleep again I dreamt of making love to Edward in my new room in front of the roaring fire.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey you guys. I am really sorry for the lapse between updates lately. My husband had some time off, and we all got sick. I am feeling better enough now to update with this chapter. I will try to do another update very soon. **

**This chapter I didn't run by my beta. I really just wanted to give you guys something. I hope I caught the majority of the error.**

**I don't own anything Twilight, just my characters and ideas blah blah blah you get the point.**

Edward POV

My day with Bella was a dream come true. Spending time with her even if it was in class was so amazing. I mostly was lost in her beauty and her smell. I hardly remember what happened in any of the classes...well except english. That class has been in the fore-front of my mind since I came up with a plan for the writing assignment.

This writing assignment wasn't just something to do in a class that I have taken dozens of times before. It was an opportunity to really tell Bella my side of our tragic story. Like Professor Jones had said death isn't always the most tragic event. Bella and I were proof of those words.

Since the moment that I returned home after dropping Bella off at her dorm, I had done nothing but listen to music that reminded me of my life with Bella....and without her. While I listened, at top speed I typed, and typed. It had been five hours since I began my telling of our story. I looked at what I had in my hands. It was thirty pages of fine print.

In that fine print was everything I had to offer. I put my heart, and if I have one my soul into every letter, every word in the story before me. I read over the story at least a hundred times to make sure that all my love, pain, and loss was truly projected. I couldn't be positive, as a writer you see between the lines better than a reader or listener will. I came up with an idea.

"Alice?" I said quietly, she was in the room next to mine so I only had to whisper.

"I thought you were never going to ask, hand it here. I will read it to Jasper, and we will make suggestions." She said while she skipped to my side, took my story and disappeared again.

I paced the length of my large room, trying to find something to distract me from the story. I could hear Alice reading at vampire speed, and I could hear what her and Jasper were thinking. It was hard to listen to all of it, the story and their thoughts. I knew by letting them read it I was letting them in on something nobody else knew. I had never totally confided my complete involvement with Bella. I knew they knew I loved her and was dying without her. I just never let them know how deep those feeling ran. They also didn't know all my selfish reasons for leaving her.

I walked down the stairs of the enormous house that we now lived in. In the large living room Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme were finishing taking down the drop cloths. They had finished this room today. It looked like the living room I had when I was human. It was decorated with that time in mind. My grand piano was on a raised area under a large bay window. It was very whimsical.

"Pretty sweet isn't it?" Emmett asked as he punched me in the arm, his immaturity knows no end. It is still funny though.

"Yes It is lovely." I said as I sat on the large brown sofa.

Esme walked over and sat next to me. "Well that only leaves a couple of rooms left to fix up." She smiled proudly about the work she and the others had accomplished. _"I just hope I can connect yours and Bella's rooms soon, I have such a great plan for that.."_ She said with her thoughts.

I just rolled my eyes. I was a little nervous about how Bella felt about the room Esme created for her. I usually would have stopped her from doing it. It just made Esme so happy. I also hoped that Bella would see how badly my family loved her and considered her apart of the family. I knew it was a risk, Bella isn't known for being reasonable when people give her material things. She seemed pretty happy about it though.

I just hoped that she looked past the material, and saw that it was a loving gesture. They worked so hard on that room to show her their love, and I hope she understood. It made me sad to see how bad they all wanted to prove their love to her, just like I did.

I was also jealous of them, Bella seemed to pick right back up where she left off with her relationships to them. Well except for Rose, their relationship was better since their conversation. I wanted so badly for her to welcome me back into her life the same way, but I knew I didn't deserve that. I knew I had to work to gain her trust, and her love. After all I was the one who destroyed everything, so I will be the one to attempt the repairs.

I thought more about the story, and how it pained me to write. I had to write what I had done, and why. It is hard to take a look in the mirror and admit to what you see. I did just that when I wrote the words, and I vowed that I would change what I was, that I would become what she needed.

"Edward...Edward?" I heard Rosalie's voice break into my thoughts. I looked up. "Edward what the hell, I have been talking to you for like five minutes."

"Sorry Rose, I was just thinking." I said while shaking my thoughts away. "What were you talking about?"

"I asked if you want to come hunting with Em and me really quick, all this remodeling has made my thirst a little intense, and your eyes are starting to get dark." She said with annoyance at having to repeat herself.

"Yeah, that's a good idea, let's go." I said while heading toward the front door. Rose and Emmett followed.

We ran down the coast a little way to a place that had been having bear problems. I quickly took down two large black bears, while Rose and Emmett took down two small grizzlies a piece.

"So, how is operation sweep Bella off her feet going?" Emmett asked while we stalked a few deer on the way home.

"It is going." I answered flatly, because I really didn't know how effective it was yet.

"Sorry dude, she will come around I know it, I see it in her eyes." Emmett said while slapping me on the back.

"What do you mean you see it in her eyes?" I asked, Emmet was never the most observant so how he came up with this was beyond me.

"It's just when you get brought up, she gets this spark in her eyes, and she seems to lose her train of thought." He answered. I still wasn't convinced but what the heck right?

"Dude seriously, the sexual tension in the room when you guys are there together, is thicker than my arm muscles." He said while flexing his arm and smiling.

"Nice Emmett....I don't know what you are talking about anyway. There isn't any sexual tension, maybe you are just pushing you and Rose's feelings off on everybody else." I said with a laugh. Rosalie had cut Emmett off a week ago because he spilled grease on her favorite pair of shoes.

"Shut up asshole, It's not my frustration I am noticing and you know it." He said with a very childish pout on is face.

Rosalie came over to join us. "Emmett still pouting over me not putting out?" She asked with a smirk.

"No" He whined as his pouty face became bigger. I couldn't help but laugh. "Rosie, I said I was sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your shoes. I will get you new ones."

She gave him a dirty look but then softened. "Okay, get me new shoes and your forgiven." She said while they started to make out.

I rolled my eyes and went to leave. "If you guys are gonna do this I am out of here."

"You're just jealous because you aren't getting any." Emmett said while unzipping Rosalie's dress.

"You don't know anything" I said while I turned and ran for home. It was so annoying that they had to start that stuff in front of me.

On the run home I was angry, and at first I didn't understand why. Then the more I thought about it the more I knew I was angry because Emmett was right. I had a strong sexual attraction to Bella, and was having a hard time keeping it hidden.

Was he right that it went both ways? Did Bella think of me that way too? I hoped she did, and that she didn't. I didn't know if I had the control needed for that part of our relationship, but I knew I didn't have the strength to say no if she asked.

I thought about how I could be with her sexually, without causing any damage. I came up with a few ideas. I suppose being mentally prepared might help.

I walked in the door and Jasper and Alice were in the living room with Carlisle and Esme. Jasper stiffed and looked up at me with a smirk. "Thinking about Bella are we?" He asked and I realized my thoughts were still on sex, and Jasper felt the lust when I came in.

"Shut up Jasper." Was all I could say. Real mature I know.

Carlisle and Esme looked up at me suspiciously. "You two be nice." Esme said before going back to reading her blueprints.

Alice stood up and handed me a stack of papers. I looked down and it was my story. "It is really good Edward. It is honest, and full of emotion. I don't think anybody will miss the message behind the words. The story of Isabella and Edmund should be a crowd pleaser and it should....." Alice stopped mid-sentence. I caught her thoughts before she could hide them. She thought that it would make Bella see and understand.

"Dd you see that, or is it just your opinion?" I asked hoping she would be honest.

"No, it wasn't a vision." She simply stated. I saw that was true in her mind. "I was also wondering if...maybe we could come and watch your presentations." She asked, and quickly changed her thoughts to what her and Jasper had done earlier in the day, knowing I would not want to see that. I knew that meant she was hiding something, and I didn't miss her say "presentations".

"I guess you guys could come if you want. I don't see why you want to but whatever." I said while I desperately searched her and Jaspers thoughts for an answer. They weren't giving me anything.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "So, I see that you haven't been spending time watching Bella in the evenings, is everything going alright?" He asked his voice and thoughts were deeply concerned.

"No, everything is fine. I just promised that I wouldn't snoop around in Cheyenne's mind, and it is hard if she is so close to ignore. I am just trying to keep my promise. I will go watch her once they are asleep." I said, as I watched his face relax.

"I am very proud of you son. You are being very good about all of this, and it must be hard." He said as his voice beamed with pride.

"It is hard, I want to be with her every second, but I know that isn't what she wants. I need to give her what she needs if I am going to prove my love. This time I won't smother her. I just want her to be happy, and I want her to see that her needs matter most." I told them while I smiled at the thought of seeing her sleep.

I looked over at the clock and saw that it was eleven thirty. I figured that Bella and Cheyenne would be asleep by now. I said good bye to everybody, and left to watch my angel sleep.

I ran to Bella's and climbed the tree outside her window. The curtains were open, and the moonlight lit her face and she looked so angelic.

I tried to ignore Cheyenne's dream but it was difficult. I felt bad for her. She was dreaming about having no friends because she cared so deeply for Jacob. Werewolves are more trouble than they are worth I thought bitterly to myself.

Bella was fairly quiet in her sleep. She talked a little about Charlie, and Jacob. She then had an hour or so where she talked about her school classes, and assignments. She was eager to finish the english assignment also. Eventually she talked about my family and me. She was still confused by Rose's new friendliness. She missed Emmett and his comical behavior. She desperately misses spending unlimited time with Alice. Then when I thought she had forgotten me she whispered. "Edward, I love you. I always have and I always will."

My head spun, and my body felt like it was on fire from her whispered words. I almost fell out of the tree I was so washed over with emotion. I had heard her say she loved me before in her sleep, but this time there was such a depth to the way she said it. I felt hope blaze through my body. I knew in that moment, that everything would work out, that Bella and I would get our happy ending. I just needed to be patient and wait. My princess would return to me, I just needed to be there with open arms, and an open heart when she finally did.

"Edward, i love you. I always have and I always will." Her words echoed through my mind for the rest of the night. I was happy, and I knew that this time my happiness would last...forever.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank all of you that are reviewing (5%) yeah only 5% are reviewing it hurts just a little. Oh well. I will hopefully get back to cranking out chapters soon. My boiler blew up so I am at my in-laws for a little while. It's cold in Alaska so having no heat is no fun especially with a baby. I am also going to start another story soon. It is going to be a Edward and Bella all human story. I will give you all a review in the next few weeks, and post the first few chapters at the end of the month. **

**If you have any suggestion to put in the new story let me know. I am just feeling a little bored with this story. The other story is gnawing at the back of my mind. **

**Ok this is a long chapter, I just wanted to tie some things up before the presentations.**

**Thanks once again to Brook, she is awesome, and I hope beyond all hope she will beta my next story. Please!!**

**I don't ow Twilight but you should know that by now.**

Bella POV

The rest of my week went by with little trouble. I went to class, and fought the temptation to throw myself in Edward's arms and tell him that all was forgiven. Honestly, everything was forgiven, but I was feeling selfish, and was basking in his effort to prove his love.

I know that he loves me, and I know that he would never leave again. I saw that in his loving gaze that made my knees weak and my heart pound. I also knew that his family wouldn't let him leave. They love me too, and to them, I was just as much a part of the family as he was. How did I know? They told me on a daily basis.

Emmett sent me at least ten text messages a day, all of them the same. _Hey lil sister, when are you coming home for good? I miss your clumsy ass. If you want, I can get rid of Edward. I like you better than him. You are a way cooler sibling. COME HOME!!_

Alice would show up almost every morning with an outfit from my closet in the Cullen mansion. She would tell me that it would be easier to dress me if I would move in with the family. Esme showed up with food in the evening. Jasper even told me that he wanted me to come live with them. He claimed that having me around made the emotional atmosphere much more amusing. That was embarrassing. I knew that I had all kinds of crazy emotions, especially around Edward. Carlisle and Rosalie were the only ones who didn't beg for me to move in. They asked once and left it alone when I declined.

Friday afternoon in history Emmett sent me the thirteenth text of the day, and Edward leaned over to read it while I was reading. He shook his head. He looked amused but upset. He leaned over and placed his lips so close to my ear that I almost fainted. "Are they all doing this to you?" He breathed in my ear. The sensation set my body on fire, and momentarily stopped my heart.

"More or less, Emmett and Alice are more persistent than the others." I laughed, trying desperately to get my heart back under control.

He shook his head, and I heard a low growl come from his chest. "I will make them stop, they shouldn't be making this any harder on you. It isn't fair." His eyes had darkened while he spoke.

"No, really it's ok. They are just trying to make me understand that "they" won't leave me again. They want my forgiveness and understanding just as much as....well.." I trailed off not wanting to hurt his feelings with saying the words out loud.

"You have forgiven them though." He said lowly. I don't even think he wanted me to hear. His words stung, but not as mush as the hurt that covered his beautiful face.

I felt so guilty that I couldn't say the words that would return the light to his amazing face. "I'm sorry, it's just.." I didn't know what to say. My heart jumped and raced faster as the guilt swarmed me like an angry swarm of bees.

His eyes flashed. "Don't you ever apologize, you haven't done anything wrong." His words didn't remove my guilt it just made it worse. 

Things with Jake seemed to be getting better. He came by everyday to spend time with Cheyenne. She beamed every time he walked in. The first day after I read his note he just nodded a silent hello. Then when he came back from dinner, he hugged me and said goodbye. The look on his face told me he was sorry and working on it.

Saturday he spent the entire day in our room, and included me in his conversations. It still felt awkward but I knew it meant that our friendship was still intact. He stayed the night on Saturday, so I called Alice, and spent the night in my room in the mansion.

Alice,Jasper and myself stayed up most of the night just talking and goofing off. It was nice to not be asked about Edward, or moving in. I truly felt at home, and in the best of company. Jasper finally informed me that I was wearing him out by fighting sleep, so I gave in and went to bed.

Sunday morning I woke up late to a very familiar sound. The sound of it made my heart race. It was my lullaby coming from a grand piano. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. It brought so much out of me. I felt all of my emotions collide, and I broke down. I laid in my oversized bed and sobbed deep pain filled sobs. I let myself go, and felt all the pain and suffering make it's final stand. I sobbed until the tears ran dry.

I let myself remember everything. Every moment I had ever spent with Edward and his amazing family. Once I was cried out, the memories still flooded my fragile mind. This time there was no pain, just the joy of the memories. I felt the desperate love of every second I had spent with Edward in my past life. For once, that life didn't seem unreal. It was my life, a part of my life that I now cherished.

I knew that my heart had been healed by the melody floating through the air. I was a whole person once again. I just needed to let my other half in on my secret. I just had to think of how.

Then it hit me, and I jumped up and rushed to get dressed. I hurled myself out the door and down the stairs. Not to my surprise Alice was standing in the foyer with car keys.

"Let's get you home so you can do what you need to do." She said while shaking and bouncing with happiness. I knew she was in on my plan, but she still seemed too happy.

"Spill it Alice, I know you're not just happy about my paper." I didn't want to say that I was giving in, just in case a certain set of ears were nearby.

"Let's just say that Friday is going to put even Romeo and Juliet to shame." She squealed with a knowing glint in her eyes. I truly didn't understand what she meant, but suddenly felt even more nervous about my writing assignment, that was due on Monday.

We arrived at the dorm in time to catch the end of Sunday brunch. This was actually the best college food so far. I think they used real eggs instead of the goo from a bag. Alice held her breath the entire time I ate.

"I swear that food smelled like rotting garbage." She complained as we walked to the elevator. "How can anybody eat that?" She asked, while shaking her head. I just ignored her, and let her have her little rant.

The ride up the elevator she looked at me and sighed. "Are you ok? This morning... well..." She sighed again not wanting to say that she had heard me crying.

"I'm better than fine, I really am." I told her while shrugging. I couldn't explain why, I just was healed. The pain had gone for good. I knew it with everything inside of me.

"I guess I should have believed Jazz then. At first he was upset and worried. Then he told me everything was fine, that you were going to be fine. The way he said it though, told me he meant it in a more long term sense, not just fine for the moment. What happened? Why this morning?.....Oh wait....the music....really?" She rambled, and then the look of comprehension hit her face.

She wrapped her arm tightly around my waist and hummed happily as we walked to my room. I was glad that she knew. It was so hard hiding my thoughts and feelings. I knew that once I told Edward the truth of it, all the weight would be off my shoulders for good.

Alice stayed and watched as I typed my story. She sighed in frustration a few times, and when she did it the eight time, I finally gave in. "What?"

"Well, it's just I already know what you are going to type word for word, I've seen it and heard it. Why don't you let me type it. I can have it done in less than half the time?" She looked overly anxious, and I figure that I knew all the words too. I lived them, so why not?

"Alright, but you have to let me check it to make sure everything I want to say is in there." I answered as she quickly yanked me out of my seat and took my place.

"Ok, now lock the door. I will be done in ten minutes. Just don't change your mind about anything in the story, that will make it harder." She ordered like this was some sort of secret mission.

I sighed, and decided that ten minutes of psychology studying wouldn't hurt. Thanks to Edward, Cheyenne, and Jasper I understood the class a lot better. Jasper's info was still fresh since we talked about it during our slumber party.

Just as I finished the section about conditioned response, Alice cleared her throat. "I'm done! Come read it. I know you won't change anything, I checked." she said with a little annoyance seeping through.

She was right, it was perfect. Just what I had imagined in my mind. The grammar and spelling was a little more formal than I use, but it would get me an even better grade, so who cares.

The final words made the hair on my arm stand up. _Isabella's heart had died that night in the forest. Death of the heart is the tragedy that lives on, but even in the darkest of fairy-tales, magic exists. The melody that had once destroyed her, restored her heart, and it was as if it had never been gone. She knew the next time she looked into Edmund's golden gaze, that she would be his for eternity. The pain and emptiness replaced by loves true devotion. Isabella and Edmund would be one once again, and nothing in this world or the next could ever tear them apart. _

I looked up at Alice as I felt silent tears slide down my face. They story of Isabella and Edmund was the most compelling story I had ever read. I finally knew that my story could have the happy ending I always wanted.

Alice hugged me and sighed, "Oh, Bella. It is truly perfect. Every emotion right there for you to feel. I hadn't realized the depth of what we caused, and I will spend my life making sure it never happens again."

I felt a little guilty. The story had every detail, of the pain, and anger I had with every member of the Cullen family, not just Edward. Alice had written and seen how badly I had missed her, and I felt bad causing her more guilt.

She shook her head knowing how I was feeling. She printed my story off, and bound it. She then laid it on my desk and marveled at it for a few minutes.

While I watched, she rummaged through my closet practically having a seizure over the clothes that she didn't approve of. She all of the sudden stiffened in alert. "Damn werewolf, now I can't see the rest of our day."

Not one minute later Cheyenne and Jake walked in. Cheyenne seemed happy and relaxed while Jake was tense, and his nose was wrinkled in disgust. "I thought I smelled a leech" He mumbled under his breath.

Alice just rolled her eyes and continued the assault on my closet. She then swore loudly and gave me a death glare. "Great, thanks Bella. Now everybody disappeared." I had no clue what she was talking about. Then I heard Cheyenne clear her throat.

Alice and I turned to look at her, as did Jake. "Umm...Jake, the Cullens wanted us to come over for dinner, and I would really like it if we did. If you come I will be protected, and you won't have to worry. Please....pretty please.....pretty please with sugar on top?" Her voice was so innocent and the look on her face was so adorable, that I couldn't imagine a person in the world saying no to her.

Jake paced a few steps, and swore under his breath, more than once. "Ok fine, but if any of them look at you funny, treaty or no treaty I will kill them." He growled while staring at Alice.

"Don't be such a baby. We wouldn't hurt her. Werewolves are so dense." Alice scoffed while she fumbled with her phone, sending a text message. Her phone then beeped a response. "Great, well I am going to go home and help get dinner started. Come over at six" She smiled and happily glided out the door.

Cheyenne had made Jake sit on her bed, and was crawling into his lap. "So Jacob, I want an explanation for why you are being an ass about Bella's choice to become a vampire." She said it as if this was just an average conversation.

Shock poured through me at her casual tone about such a serious subject. Jake looked like he had just seen a ghost. "What?" He blurted out while shaking his head, like he had misheard her words.

"You heard me, Bella wants to become a vampire, and you won't let her. I want to know why right now!! And don't give me that whole vampires are evil spiel either cause I am not buying it. I don't think you're evil, and after everything I have witnessed neither are the Cullens."

I was speechless. Cheyenne apparently had mad some long strides in her acceptance of the supernatural.

"They..are..evil...but..what..no....It's in the treaty, ok? That is why." Jake stammered and spluttered because she had already taken his one defense away. "I can't...my best friend.....dead...gone.....soulless." He apparently couldn't form sentences, but I couldn't even speak so he was doing better than I was.

"That is nonsense. I don't believe that she will be evil and soulless, and it is her choice if she wants to take that chance." Cheyenne said in the most matter of fact tone I had ever heard.

"NO!!" Jake yelled as he buried his face in her pillow. Cheyenne looked annoyed at him, but she seemed to know well enough to just leave him alone.

I still couldn't speak. I just looked at Cheyenne with amazement. She was one hell of a girl, and I knew Jake had met his match. She wouldn't be taking any shit from him, and he knew it.

Jake just groaned in defeat as he looked up at me. "Bella, I know it's your choice, but I'm not ready just yet. I just need to let it all sink in. I am not over how hurt you still are."

I cut him off, "I'm not anymore. I don't know how, but the pain is gone, like it never existed at all."

He just looked at me with a somber expression, while Cheyenne gently stroked his head, and smile radiantly at me. I then had an idea.

I walked over to my desk and grabbed my story. "Look, I used what happened for a writing assignment. I need to read it aloud, and I think it will help give you some closure, and Cheyenne some answers." I pleaded silently with my eyes.

"OK" was all he said.

I sat on the end of Cheyenne's bed and read them my story. They heard everything; from my first day in Forks, to this very morning. I told about Jake saving the remnants of my soul, and how it hurt when fate chose another for him to love.

They both laughed, cried, and cringed at all of the right parts. Cheyenne would gaze even more lovingly at Jake as I told his part of the story. When I reached the end of the epilogue, where the tragic story has it's forgotten happy ending, both of them had tears streaming down their faces the same as I did.

Jake came over and hugged me tightly. The kind of hug I missed when he was mad. "I get it now Bells. You never explained it before. I get it, he is your happy ending. I won't try to stop you or anything, you have my permission. I hope you won't do it but you have my permission." Tears started flowing faster down both of our faces, and we hugged.

My best friend finally saw what I was afraid to show, and I knew he would be my friend for all time, and that he wouldn't hate me after.

"Guys, we better get going. It's quarter til six." Cheyenne said, while wiping her face with a towel.

We all pulled ourselves together, and got in Jake's car to go have dinner with my family.

"Bells, not that I am in a hurry, but when are you going to give in?" Jake asked uneasily.

"Well, I think we have to present our stories, so I think he will get the point. So, I guess whenever it is my day to present."

Cheyenne squealed and Jake and I both looked at her with confusion. Then she smiled and spoke. "If it is before Friday, you have to vacuum and make the beds."

I laughed, because she was right. It was a part of our bet.

We arrived at the mansion, and I thought that both of them had died of shock. Both of their mouths hung open and neither of them said a word. I managed to drag them up to the door.

Before I could knock, the door flung open, and I was locked in a bear hug. "Welcome home lil sis. Are you staying this time?" Emmett's booming voice rang out happily. I just rolled my eyes as we all walked in. Emmett decided to give us the tour of the house, and it was very amusing. He told about all the embarrassing things that everybody had in their rooms, and why.

We finally arrived at my room, and Cheyenne oohed and awwed, while Jake grumbled under his breath the entire time. Finally Esme came and took us all down for dinner.

The dinning room had a buffet set-up that could feed fifty people, and Jake looked utterly thrilled. This was definitely going to help bring him around.

The three of us ate, and we all talked with the family. Every once and again I would catch Edward's eye and lock into his gaze. When I did that, I would feel overwhelming amounts of love and devotion. At first I thought it was just me but then I looked over at Jasper who giggled and tried to look innocent.

After dinner, we packed up all of the leftovers. There were thirty containers. I gave all of them to Jake, and told him to drop some off to Charlie. Jake took Cheyenne home, then headed back to Forks, then La Push. He told me that he wouldn't tell Charlie where the food was from. It was the first time I thought about how Charlie wasn't going to be thrilled about the new inhabitants of my life. I figured I would jump that hurdle when I got to it.

I had brought all of my school stuff with me knowing I would stay the night. I wished the family a good night, and went and got ready for bed. Once I was showered and dressed Alice came in with hot tea. She said it would help me relax.

I drank the tea, and as I started to fall asleep, I heard that familiar melody. My lullaby playing softly through the house. I slipped into the happiest sleep I had in over a year. '_I love you Edward,'_ I thought as I drifted under, for the first time wishing he could hear my thoughts.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey, thanks to you all for reviewing. I am super excited that I am over 100 reviews, yay!! **

**So the Halloween one shot is finished. It is on my profile, I colabed with Mistyhaze420. Please read it, and if you like it voting starts the 20th, please vote. Link to voting in on my profile.**

**Just to clarify, I am not so much bored as the other story in my mind is calling to me, don't worry I won't abandon my baby. I am guessing that there will be at least 6 more chapters to this story if not more. **

**Thanks again to Brook, she is the best. **

**This will be a long chapter, but it's the one. Presentation time. I hope I don't blow it for you all.**

**Every reviewer will get a detailed summary of my next story. **

**Once again I don't own it unless you count the copies on my nightstand. HA!**

Bella POV

Monday and Tuesday went by in a blur. Monday in English we turned in our creative writing assignments for the end of Romeo and Juliet. Professor Jones announced that we should all be prepared to present starting Wednesday. Edward and I turned ours in at the same time. I noticed that his was just as big as mine.

Monday and Tuesday felt very strange. It reminded me of the calm before the storm and this made me very antsy. That wasn't the strangest part, Edward seemed off, like he was waiting for something to happen. He kept giving me sideways glances, and it made me feel like he was expecting me to spontaneously combust.

I have to admit that the strain in our closeness made my will to wait crumble. Tuesday night, when he took me back to my dorm after dinner with the family, I started to crumble. I grabbed his arm before he could walk away, and when he looked into my eyes, I felt like a magnet being pulled to a metal door. I started to lean into him, wanting desperately to feel his cool lips on mine.

Then my cell phone interrupted us with a text from Alice. _Don't do it, it won't make your relationship stronger, stay with your plan._

I shook myself loose from the longing, and told him goodnight. That night I closed my curtains, and cried until my tears ran dry and exhaustion made me sleep.

When I woke up, tear stained and exhausted, I considered not going to class, not going anywhere. It was my fault that I was hurting, and I needed to allow my emotions to punish my stupidity. As I crawled back into bed I felt the tears coming once again. I started to drift into the oblivion of my stupidity and the pain it caused.

"BELLA!!!, I will not let you do this, get up." Alice's voice broke my trance. I sat up wiping the tears from my face, my body still rocked with sobs. She sat next to me while gently hugging me.

"Bella, I know that this is hard, but I promise it is all going to be fine. He will find out soon. Your story will tell him everything." She whispered into my hair as she held my trembling figure.

The echo from my previous pain called out to me. "Alice, I still need to know....I need to know why....and I need to know that he truly does love me...and.." I trailed off not knowing how to voice the panic rising inside of me.

She gently grabbed my face between her hands and looked straight into my eyes. "Bella, I know you need your own kind of proof, but listen to me. He loves you more than anything. You are what is most important to him, and soon you will get your answers and you will understand." I knew from the look in her eyes and the softness in her tone, she meant every word.

"Thanks" was all I could say. I knew that it wasn't enough to show the gratitude I felt toward Alice. She was truly the best friend I ever had, and ever would have.

"Alright enough moping around, let's get you dressed and off to class." She said in her usually chipper voice. Then she proceeded to dress me in a green sweater dress with black tights, and girly boots. She then did my hair half up and half down. My make-up was in fall colors. I looked like an ad from JC Penny's fall catalog.

I arrived in English class with mere seconds to spare. On the desk next to Edward laid a cinnamon roll, and a large mocha, with whipped cream. He smiled warmly at me while motioning for me to sit. God, he really is amazing.

Even with the warmth that he was showing, I still felt that strange feeling that had been there all week. The feeling seemed to grow throughout the class.

We watched as most of the class presented their stories. Every time that she would announce the next presenter, I would feel a wave of nausea and panic. I relaxed when she told the class that we were done for the day.

When I stood up I felt the unease start to slip away. I must be losing my mind, I don't know why I feel like I am waiting for the world to end. Just as I turned to walk out the door behind Edward, the panic was brought on full bore.

"Mr. Cullen, and Ms. Swan, can you please wait? I need to speak with you for a moment." Professor Jones' voice was all business, her airy tone nowhere to be found.

We both froze, and the panic heated my body from head to toe. I felt dizzy. We followed her to her office, and she had us take a seat across from her.

I looked to Edward hoping he has some clue of what was going on. "It's something to do with the presentations, I dunno what though. She has a chaotic mind." he whispered while she was digging in her desk.

This made me even more panicked. I hadn't even thought about her reading my story and thinking about it around him. "Please, tune her out. It is important!!" I breathed the words as the panic was making my vision blurry.

My heart was racing and the blood in my head was swirling and I felt close to fainting. His hand gently grabbed mine. "Breath Bella, I am listening to Jasper, and Carlisle in the bio building. I won't listen to her. Calm down."

I closed my eyes and concentrated on calming down. I was interrupted by Professor Jones.

"I asked you to stay because I found your papers to be well...interesting. I know I didn't say that working together was against the rules, and both of your stories are original in their own ways. I actually really enjoy that you both took the same story and gave two completely different points of view, and opinions of the situations. With that being said, in order to earn all the points for the assignment, I would like you to present back to back and then hold on open discussion with the class about why your characters are the same but with totally different views." She stopped and was staring at the two of us.

I was in shock. Apparently Edward and I both wrote about our lives the past two years. I was confused what she meant about them being so different. The facts seemed pretty clear, and I didn't see how we could have a different take on them. Her voice broke through my revere.

"Hello? Do you two understand what I am asking?" She sounded impatient. It was then I realized neither of us had spoken.

"Umm..yeah. You want us to present our stories together and talk about them." I said while still dazed.

"Our stories are the same?" Edward breathed, apparently as shocked as I was.

She apparently didn't detect the question in his voice. "Ok, now that we got that taken care of, I look forward to your presentations Friday." She then ushered us out of her office.

The rest of the day went by in a daze. I didn't even realize that it was over until Jasper's voice broke through the fog.

"Hey, what is up with you two?" He asked softly.

I shook my head trying to bring myself back to the present. "Oh, nothing. I am just tired and hungry" I said with a shaky voice.

"Yeah, the same for me." Edward said.

Jasper looked confused while he spoke overly slow. "Ok, well how about we take Bella to her place, and you and I go hunting."

I just nodded, and Edward hmfed in response. I looked over into his beautiful face, and his eyes were honey colored. He didn't need to hunt. What was wrong with him? Was he as shaken by the knowledge that we wrote about the same thing?

I ate leftovers, and thought constantly about the story. I tried to understand how our opinions could be so different on what happened and came up with nothing. I eventually showered and went to bed. I don't know what time I did any of this, I felt like a stranger in my own body. Nothing felt real.

I woke up early on Thursday, and checked my email. My one class was canceled. I decided to try to go back to sleep, but I just couldn't. I went to my closet and dug out my beaten copy of Wuthering Heights.

There it was, the picture of perfection. I stared into the beautiful amber eyes, and my mind starting spinning. I knew I wanted him to know everything, but I didn't know if I could handle looking into his eyes, and revealing my soul. I knew ready or not, I had to do it.

The rest of the morning, I read the story out loud over and over, hoping that the more I said it the less emotional I would feel. It worked when I was alone but would it work tomorrow?

At about eleven, Rosalie and Alice showed up at my door and drug me off to the mall. I usually would have been horrified, but it helped distract me. We shopped, and then did a spa session. Of course I was overfed. I still didn't understand the obsession.

Alice explained that she wanted me to have all the food experience I could, if I was going to join the family. I guess that made as much sense as anything.

They finally dumped me off in my room around ten thirty. I showered and when I was finished they were still there. Alice held her hand open revealing a small pill, while Rose handed me a cup of hot chamomile tea.

"Here Bella, this will calm your nerves and help you sleep. You need to be rested for tomorrow." Alice said while handing me the pill. I shrugged and took the pill. I was too tired to argue, and the mention of tomorrow made the panic rise again.

Rose brushed my hair while Alice hummed an unfamiliar song. I was lucky that Cheyenne was away on a class trip for the week.

The tea, pill, and Rose playing with my hair lulled me into a calm peaceful sleep.

************

**Ok guys this is the time to go to the bathroom, get a drink, turn off the phone, and tell everybody to leave you alone. The good stuff is now.**

**********

Edward POV

I was completely gorged with blood. I knew that I didn't need to hunt, but I hoped that hunting would calm my nerves, and the burning in my brain. I am completely shocked that Bella and I wrote the same story. That just showed how perfectly matched we are.

I had thought about it all day and all night, yet I still had no answer to how our stories were the same but different. I know that I could have answered that question if I had looked into the dingbat English teacher's mind. I promised that I wouldn't and so I kept my word.

I have been out hunting since Wednesday night, and it is now Friday morning early. I had hunted so much, that it felt that I wouldn't need to do it again for years.

Jasper came with me and started asking what was wrong, but gave up when I still wouldn't answer. He went home last night when Alice had called. I think she might know what is going on, and she put Jasper at ease.

I went over my story in my mind over and over until it was second nature. I knew that I wanted Bella to have the answers she was seeking, but didn't know if I could face her. What if she didn't understand? What if she changed her mind? I didn't think I could take that, but I knew one way or another it had to be done. She needed the truth, and I needed to be the one to deliver it.

After draining a small deer, I ran home to change and get ready for what could be the biggest day of my existence.

I quickly showered and dressed, all the while thinking of all the different ways that today could turn out. I was so nervous! If I could be sick, I would have been.

I rushed out the door, ignoring the silent cry from Alice for me to wait. I was nervous enough without her cryptic bubbly behavior.

I arrived at Bella's door forty five minutes before class. I brought with me her favorite coffee, and an egg and cheese bagel.

The drive to class was very quiet, and the electricity in the air was very tangible.

We arrived to class twenty minutes early, both of us silently reading our stories. Every now and then I would catch Bella looking up at me from her story. The look on her face was unfathomable. She looked nervous, but at peace. It took everything that I had not to read her story from where I was at.

As the class filed in the doors, I recognized six minds, the minds of my family. I looked to the back of the room, and there they were all sitting together smiling sweetly. All of them of course were hiding their thoughts. This meant that Alice had seen something, and they all were in on what that was.

I was confused at first as to why they were there, but then I remembered Alice asking if they could come. I thought she just meant her and Jasper. This made me even more nervous, and I hoped that Bella hadn't noticed because I knew it would make her nervous as well. I felt a wave of calm course through me, and was extremely grateful for Jasper's presence.

The class began, and Professor Jones explained the unique circumstances of our presentation, thought I still was unsure about the circumstances myself. She explained that I should read first.

So I stood at the front of the class, Bella seated directly in front of me. I began reciting the story that I knew so well. The story of my life with my one true love, and the pain that the loss of her caused.

I never took my eyes off of Bella's the entire time I presented, and I saw it there in her face. The same hurt, and every other emotion that my words brought. At the end I saw what I had been desperate for; I saw understanding. I knew that my story served its purpose, it answered all of her questions.

Bella POV

As Edward stood at the front of the class to read his story my emotions went haywire. I was so confused with all of my feelings. Did I want to know his side of our story? Was it going to give me the answers I was seeking? Or was this going to prove once and for all that him loving me was ridiculous?

His eyes locked onto mine as he began to tell our story. Most of the story I knew and understood, because it was the same as what I had written. However, there was lots of things I didn't know.

"The night I saved her life, I realized it wasn't because I was afraid of my secret coming out. It was because I loved her..yes her...and I had never loved anybody that way before....as I watched her sleep I knew I was changed for all of eternity. Nothing would matter to me but her. She was my life...she still is."

Those words were the beginning of the shock for me, I had told myself for so long that he could never love me. But there it was in his words telling me how wrong I was.

"Who I am, well what I am placed Isabella in grave danger. If I hadn't have gotten to her in time that fateful day in Phoenix, she would have been lost to me. Even worse, if I hadn't had the strength to save her soul, she would have been damned just like me."

Those words I had hear before, but I saw the pain in his golden eyes, and I understood. He wanted to save my life, and to him being like him was worse than killing me. I understood, but still I didn't agree. I wanted to stop him and argue, but I knew my turn would come.

"The night of her birthday, the nature of what my family and I are almost cost her life once again. I loved her enough that I had to do right by her, I had to leave her. I know it doesn't make sense, but without me she could be human, and live. Living a full healthy life, have a family, and not risk her soul, or her life. I had to leave so she would have a chance to truly live......I know now that was the biggest mistake of my existence."

There it was, the answer I always wanted, and never understood. It made sense to me. He left me to save me, but I am never as safe as I am with him, and he needs to know that.

"When I came across my love again, and learned that my leaving didn't save her. It drove her to take refuge with other monsters, and my leaving caused her so much pain...so much that she didn't feel like she had a soul. I didn't save her, I destroyed her. I will spend the rest of my existance making up for my mistake."

I knew he wasn't thrilled about the wolves, but I didn't know he understood that his leaving took my soul too.

"Death is not the greatest tragedy, living forever without the one thing you need the most is the greatest tragedy. Even an unbeating heart can break, and feel the pain for the rest of time."

His parting words sent chills through me, and I realized that I had silent tears running down my face. I looked around, and the rest of the class was somber, and lots of them had tear filled eyes. My story would be hard to tell now, knowing that some of my reasoning is flawed, but I knew I had to.

I wiped my face, and took the place where Edward had stood. Keeping his gaze, I began the story of the true beginning of my life, and how I died that night in the woods.

Edward POV

When I finished my story, Bella and many others had tears running down their faces. Telling my secrets to strangers was hard, but telling my family was torture. I heard it in their thoughts, they had learned things about me they never knew or understood, and was grateful for the closeness it brought.

I took the seat where Bella had been sitting, and reveled in the warmth left behind. Her gaze was locked with mine as she read the words that both broke my heart and healed my pain.

"It doesn't make sense why he would love me...I am just a painfully plain, clumsy girl...and he is something stories are made of."

I knew she thought lowly of herself, but didn't know that was the basis of why she believed I could never love her.

"I knew what he was, and it didn't matter. I loved him. I needed him, and never wanted to be away from him. I knew he thought he would hurt me, but he wouldn't. Not in the way he was afraid of."

Those words chilled me, I remember her saying what I was didn't matter. It both warmed me and killed me. I was surprised though, she is capable of loving more than a human should..and maybe she did love me as much as she claimed.

"The voice of an angel pulled me from the darkness, and he saved me from the pain, the fire that was pulsing through me. He was my hero, and I had never been more thankful that he existed."

I nearly scoffed aloud when I heard that, how ridiculous to be thankful for me, when what I was had almost killed her.

"After my dreadful birthday, I knew something was wrong. I just figured we could go away together, and everything would be fine.....I was wrong....somebody was going away....not me...killing me would have been kinder than throwing me aside like last week's trash."

Her words stung, and I knew she felt used and abandoned. I wasn't prepared for what I heard next.

"For four months I remember nothing. I know I lived my life, but I did so without my knowledge. I had died in the woods that night, my body just continued on without me."

Then she talked of how the mongrel saved her, and I almost couldn't bear it. I was thankful to Jacob Black for holding her together, but if I hadn't have been so stupid he wouldn't have needed to save her.

"Motorcycles....dangerous situations....cliff diving....all to hear his perfect voice without the pain."

So, she broke her promise too, and endangered herself to have a piece of me I will never forgive myself for this , ever.

"I know he thinks you lose your soul, but how can somebody with no soul chose to do the right things...they can't...So, I know that my soul wouldn't be lost, and I know his wasn't...he is so perfect How could he not have a soul?"

Those were the words Emmett had said, and I wonder....could it be true? Then she said the words that I needed, the words that gave her back to me.

"Isabella's heart had died that night in the forest. Death of the heart is the tragedy that lives on, but even in the darkest of fairy-tales, magic exists. The melody that had once destroyed her, restored her heart. It was as if it had never been gone. She knew the next time, she looked into Edmund's golden gaze that she would be his for eternity."

I heard the mental astonishment of all around me, it echoed my feelings. "You still love me?" I breathed staring into her beautiful brown eyes.

Her tears spilled. I wiped them away, and was lost in her. I felt everything else dissolve, and all there was in the world was Bella and me.

Bella POV

"You still love me?" I barely heard him say. Then I felt love and passion coursing through me. I was pulled to him, and nothing else mattered.

"I love you, never leave me again, ever." I said while the distance between us closed.

"I'm too selfish, I want you for all of time." He whispered. Then there was no space between us. I was in the cold embrace I had longed for, and then I felt his cool lips on mine. The fire inside ignited, and I laced my fingers in his hair, and let the passion, and love take control.

In that moment I was his forever, and nothing mattered. I was pulled from the world where it was only Edward and me by the loud gasps and throat clearing.

We turned to look at a class full of astonished students and an embarrassed looking professor. We both mumbled apologies, and continued with out presentations, discussing the stories with the class. None of this mattered. All that mattered was I was where I belonged. I was with Edward, I was his forever.

Edward and Bella, just like Romeo and Juliet. Nothing can keep us apart.

Looks like I am making beds and vacuuming.


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you so much for your reviews of the last chapter. I agonized over it. Also my new story has started, chapter one is up. If after chapter one you don't think you can handle the darkness then don't read on it only gets worse. Please if you do read it review letting me know your thoughts on it.**

**This chapter is going to be a bit different. I originally wasn't going to do the class discussion, but you asked. It is going to be a lot of question and answer.**

**Thanks again to Brook, and you should go check out her story. mommybrook, Somebody to Love it is on my favs.**

**Once again I don't own it but I can pretend right?**

Bella POV

Once the class settled down, after Edward and I had out little emotional make-out session, we sat in the two chairs facing the class and starting fielding questions.

"Why did you decide to do the same story from two different views?" A boy in the second row asked. This was the one question I had hope to avoid since we didn't really plan this together.

"Well basically every story has two or more sides, and to truly understand the entire situation, you need to know the motivations behind the actions." Edward answered with an air of authority. I figured he got the perfect answer from the mind of our batty professor, because she smiled brightly at his answer.

I cleared my throat to add to the answer. "Well it also is to show how flawed reasoning can be. When you don't have all the facts, you make mistakes. Edmund and Isabella both made mistakes. They didn't appreciate the feelings the other had. Showing both sides proves that you can't assume to know another's feelings."

"How did they know it was love so quickly?" Alice asked. Damn her, she knows how he knew, she told him. She wants to know how I knew.

"She had never thought much about love and relationships, but when she met him, it changed. He was so hostile the first day, but then so curious the next time. I think she recognized his suffering. When he saved her from the van, she knew he was a hero, even though he felt differently. It's hard not to fall for the person who saved your life. She loved him, and wanted to show him that he deserved love from her and from himself. Mostly it was fate, and being near him brought out what was meant to be."

Edward looked at me and smiled sweetly. I don't think he ever knew how much I loved him so quickly. "He hadn't loved in his many years, and didn't recognize the feeling until his darling sister pointed it out, and then he knew. He wanted to keep her safe, and to be near her always. She was all he cared about. When she walked into his life, she warmed his cold dead heart for the first time ever, and he loved her for that. She is everything he isn't, and she brings out the best of him, and that is how his love came to be so never ending and strong."

I felt like jello at his sweet words, and was so grateful he is mine.

Carlisle asked the next question. "How is she so forgiving of his family? What they did was no better than what he did?" I knew that they wanted my forgiveness, but I also knew they felt the didn't deserve it.

Edward answered first. "It wasn't their fault that he forced them to leave a part of their family behind, and she is smart enough to know that." His tone was apologetic. He felt bad for hurting his family.

"It was hard for her when they all left. They were her family too, and she was devastated by that loss. They were the only people she could be herself around, no secrets. I think what hurt the most was them leaving without saying goodbye. Over time, she began to understand that they did what they had to, that he had made them do it. Sometimes she still feels the hurt, but she knows they won't do it again. She won't let them. She will follow them to the end of the earth if she has to. She won't lose her family again." I answered honestly.

"If he wanted her to be safe then why would he leave her? I could understand leaving, but still watching her to make sure she was safe, and maybe then he would have seen that it wasn't what was best for her." Professor Jones asked. This is a question I would also like to know the answer to.

"Leaving her at all was his biggest mistake. At the time he needed her to be safe and with him being what he is, that put her in danger. He needed the danger he brought to be far away from her. Also, he wouldn't have been able to stay away if he saw her every day. The selfish need to be with her would have won out over the need to keep her safe. You are right he would have seen it wasn't for the best and ended her suffering sooner, but he thought he knew what was best, and he was wrong. So very wrong." Edward sighed, looking ashamed.

"How is it that she can be around his brother after what he did that night? Isn't she scared of him?" A girl in the back asked with true curiosity.

"She knows what they are, and understands exactly what that means. She wishes she knew what made it more difficult for him, but she doesn't blame him. She forgave him before he left that night. He is what he is, and she doesn't blame him for that. Of course she isn't scared of him. He would never try and hurt her again. He loves her too. She is his family." I said, while putting as much understanding and trust behind the words so that Jasper would really know.

Rosalie was the next to ask a question. "Since the story doesn't have a true end, will he change her? Will she want to be changed? Will she move in with him and his family?"

"He promised to give her whatever she wanted, and he meant that. If she wants to be changed, then he will change her." Edward answered while looking directly at me.

"Yes, she still wants to be changed. There are other things she wants too. She will most likely move in with the family." I answered never looking away from Edward. He gasped and looked at Alice. I figured she had seen something surprising to him.

"Ok, well that is all we have time for today." Professor Jones announced while handing us our grade sheet. 97% A with a note about not giving in to PDA during a presentation.

We waited until the room was empty, and walked out the door meeting hi..our family in the hall. Alice was bouncing like a crazy person with a huge smile on her face. Esme beamed like a proud mother. Emmett looked lost in his own mind. I hoped he would find his way back. Rose just smiled. Carlisle hugged us both. Then Jasper came up and hugged me tightly, and I felt so much love and respect, it was unnerving.

"I don't deserve your love and forgiveness Bella, but I am going to be the best brother ever to earn it." Jasper whispered.

"No I am am!!" Emmett boomed, while grabbing me in a rib crushing hug.

"So when ya movin' in?" Rose asked.

"Well I still have some things to take care of, like Charlie for example." I said shaking my head.

"Bella, you don't know how happy you make me. I cannot wait for what I just saw." Alice squealed still jumping up and down.

"Let's go love. We don't want to be late to our next class." Edward said while pulling me tightly to his side and kissing my head.

We waved goodbye, and went on our way. I didn't care what we had to do, I never wanted to be outside of his arms ever again.

Finally it was how it should be. Edward and I together. I just needed to figure out how to tell Charlie.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello to all my faithful readers. I wasn't sure if I was going to finish this story earlier today. I got a reviewer that decided to flame me on almost every chapter, until she decided she had enough of my terrible story and quit reading. Whatever.**

**I then got more bad news I did not win the Halloween contest, I am sadder about that then I would have expected but oh well. **

**If you haven't yet please check out my new story Stitches. It is an all human E&B story and it is somewhat a dark fiction but won't always be.**

**Thanks again to my beta Brook, she is awesome for the work she does with my stories and my self-esteem after mean reviews.**

**This story is coming to an end very soon, but I promise that it won't be boring. I have some surprises in store.**

**I have a simple request of you my dears, can I get over 200 reviews before this story comes to an end. I see stories with over 3 thousand and I am jealous. **

**If you don't know by now then wow, but I don't own it. Twilight is not mine just ask the flaming reviewer.**

Bella POV

I feel like I drank a gallon of espresso. I am so happy with the way that today turned out that I can't hardly stay still. It is so hard to sit in class mere inches from Edward. The electricity between us was so intense that it was almost painful. I could feel his presence in every inch of my body. I was hyper aware that the heavenly creature beside me was mine, forever. I couldn't be happier.

We made it through psychology...barely. I know that we both knew that the previous class and the events that took place signified the return of our relationship, but what were the guidelines for the relationship. I couldn't very well have him in my room every night watching me sleep. Cheyenne might find that a little bit more than creepy. I wasn't ready to move into the Cullen mansion. I guess that we would have to talk this out. There was also one major problem....Charlie.

Charlie was not as forgiving about heartbreak as I was. After all, it has been eighteen years since my mom left him and he still isn't over that. I know that I need to tell my dad about the Cullens return, and of course Edward and I being back together. He is going to be pissed. I was nineteen now, and he really couldn't punish me, but I didn't want him angry with me either. I hadn't even seen him once since I started school, and my first visit was going to be one of turmoil.

Would Charlie think that the past month and a half was enough time to actually forgive Edward, considering how grievous his crime was towards me? Most likely not, but I had to figure out a way to make him see and understand.

Since my demise last year, and the steady return thanks to Jake, I had become very close to my dad, and the thought of causing him grief like this broke my heart, but keeping it a secret felt so wrong. I wanted to climb the highest peak and shout to the world that I was with Edward Cullen, and this time it was forever.

I had been so absorbed in my thoughts about how I was going to tell Charlie my happy news that I didn't notice that class had ended. I felt a familiar pair of cold hands on my face, and that brought me out of my reverie.

"Bella, are you ok? You have been spaced out for about ten minutes." His soft voice crooned, as he brought his golden eyes even to mine.

"Oh yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about stuff." I felt the all to familiar blush flood my face. I didn't want to tell him that I was wondering how to tell Charlie about us, when I was unsure what us encompassed.

"Alright, let's get some lunch, and maybe talk about...well, about what happened in English." He didn't meet my eyes when he spoke, he seemed as unsure as I was. This was a relief. I wouldn't feel so stupid bringing it up.

We walked out into the heavily clouded day. There was a new chill in the air that signified the coming of winter. I shivered as it chilled me to the bone. I saw Edward glance at me from the corner of my eye, and he seemed to want to hold me but then he stopped himself. This tension was unnerving, and somewhat absurd.

We walked extremely slow, and didn't utter a word. The tension became stronger and stronger. In my mind I kept thinking over and over that I should just let him off the hook, and make physical contact first. Every time that I went to, I just couldn't. I heard him sigh, and noticed a pained expression on his beautiful face. This was all that it took for my normal bravery to return.

The butterflies turned into giant birds as I reached my arm out and slowly wrapped it around his cold hard waist. The instant that we connected it felt like the puzzle of my life was complete. All the tension melted away, and my body relaxed and formed itself into Edward. He let out a sigh of contentment, and pulled me as close as he could get me. We were no longer two individuals, we became one.

We found a small cafe on the edge of campus. It was cozy and only had one worker. I ordered a bowl of cheesy potato soup, a BLT, and a large mocha. We sat at a table near the front wall of glass. The small brick fireplace was burning warm and bright. It felt so relaxing, and I couldn't ask for better company.

"We need to address what today means...to the both of us." Edward whispered while grasping my free hand inside of his. His expression was so soft and warm, I felt like taking a nap in that moment. The warm food, the fire, the cozy atmosphere, and the adoration in Edward's eyes.

"Well, today I got all the answers that I ever needed. I guess that deep down I knew it, but the hurt and anger buried what I knew. It was unfair of me to have been dishonest with you since you returned. I love you, I always have, and I always will. That has been the same since the very beginning. You are my everything. When you left, you took my essence with you. I stopped being me and just continued living on auto-pilot. When you came back into my life, I was once again in control of my world. Without you I have nothing, but with you there isn't anything I can't do." Tears were freely flowing down my face as I choked out the words that had been locked inside of me for such a long time. I felt the fire inside of me begin to burn once again.

I was finally Bella Swan, and I knew exactly who that was, and what she wanted in this world. I was finally free from my emotional prison, and it felt good to live, to really live.

Edward was quiet for a few seconds, as he gently wiped the tears from my face. He smiled slowly, and looked so peaceful that I had almost forgotten that he too wanted to talk about what today meant to him. I felt panic flood my veins. My heart was racing and pounding in my ears.

What if he didn't feel the same about today? What if after what he heard that he decided that he truly didn't love me, or want me? I knew my thoughts were irrational but old habits die hard.

"Bella, calm down. What is it?" Edward's soft voice was filled with true concern.

"Nothing...it's your turn." I barely squeaked out. I was so afraid of the words that would come from his wonderful mouth next.

"I thought it would be obvious what today meant to me." He chuckled then continued. "I finally got a glimpse into your mind, and was surprised by what I saw. I didn't realize that I meant as much to you as you did to me. I saw that leaving you that night was the biggest mistake of my being. I thought that I loved you enough to do right by you, but I didn't know what was right for you. I have become too reliant on my gift, that I don't know how to figure people out without it. Or at least you, because you are not generic like the rest of the population. I now know that I love you enough to go against what I feel, and do what you wish. I hate the danger I bring into your life, but I won't let it hurt you. I am here forever. I am going to prove that I am worthy of your love. You too are my life, and without you, the humanity in me disappears. I love you, and am going to selfishly keep you for all eternity." His voice was brooding, and magical.

Once again I had fresh tears. This was starting to get annoying. I was becoming an emotional freak, and I hated it. I guess that I kept so much bottled up for so long that it was all coming out with vengeance.

We talked about how I wanted to talk to Charlie about everything. Edward gave me advice on what to say. He also reminded me that it was ok for Charlie to be angry with him, but not me for choosing to be with him. I called Charlie and told him that I was coming to spend the weekend in Forks with him. He was so excited by the news that my stomach flipped, because I knew his happiness would be short lived.

Once I finished eating we left for our next class. Even though it was freezing outside I molded myself to Edward's side. Now that I finally had him back,I didn't want to lose a single part of him. We had agreed that after I talked to Charlie we would figure out the best way to spend time together. It was great that we had all the class time together, but I needed him for more than academics.

While in history class we sat in the back of the class. Edward rested one hand in my lap while the other held my hand on top of my desk. I never wanted the contact between us to end. History went by in a blur. I was only concerned with the feel of Edward touching me. When we reached Biology, it was beginning to snow outside. Great, snow in October. How wonderful. When we took our seats, I was passed a fashionable peat coat with a note attached.

_The snow was last minute, didn't want you to freeze. Alice _

I was overwhelmed by the loving gesture. It was the small things that all of the Cullens did that showed their love and devotion. I know a peat coat is expensive, but that was Alice for ya. I could be upset by the materialistic nature of her gesture, but I saw past that. I saw her genuine concern for my well being.

Edward and I sat front and center in biology. We were holding hands under our desks,and at first Carlisle shot us a look of disapproval but it was replaced with a genial smile. On occasion, I would feel a rampant need to throw myself on top of Edward and doing unspeakable things. The third time that this happened I noticed that Edward's eyes were black, and he was squeezing my hand harder. I looked around and caught sight of Jasper fighting back a smile. I mustered up my most evil glare, and tried to be genuinely angry even though I was actually amused.

I was really feeling the emotional roller-coaster I had been on by the end of Carlisle's lecture. I wasn't sure that the hour and a half drive to Fork's was going to happen. The room emptied and I stayed tied to Edward in my seat.

I heard a familiar squeal and turned to see Alice. "I have foreseen." She squeaked.

"Alice." Edward said in a warning tone.

"What, I just mean that I saw that we are going to spend the weekend in Forks. I miss our house there." She said looking insulted.

We, what does she mean we are going to Forks. I must have looked like I felt.

"I saw that you are going to tell Charlie in the morning, then I am coming over, and then Saturday night the rest of us are coming over. By the end of the visit, Charlie will be pacified, not happy, but pacified." She said still too enthusiastically.

"No, that is too much, too quick." I said sternly. I didn't want to overwhelm my dad on my first weekend visit.

"I already know that you will agree so don't be difficult." Alice scolded.

"Fine, but if I think that Charlie isn't ready, you have to back off." I told her in exasperation.

"Great, that means that I am driving you to Forks then." Edward said smoothly. I knew that he was still being a bit overprotective, but I was sleepy and my driving could be dangerous.

"What am I going to drive to the house then? Charlie expects me to be driving a rental he got for me." Since my truck was in disrepair, I needed a rental to get home.

"That is where we come in." I heard a husky voice behind me. I turned to see Jake and Cheyenne.

"Alice came over and begged for my help, and I don't want Charlie to be upset with you, plus he wants to meet the girl that took me from you." Jake scoffed as he grabbed Cheyenne's hand.

Leave it to Charlie to say something like that about Cheyenne.

"We will pick you up from the Cullen's and take you to your house." Sounded like they had this all planned out. Alice and her evil schemes.

"Alright, let's get going then, but first.." I was cut off by a styrofoam to-go container being thrust in my face, of course the feeding me obsession. They knew I would be hungry, either that or they were going to feed me every chance they saw me.

We got outside and I scowled at the dusting of snow on the ground, and the huge heavy flakes that were falling from the sky at an alarming rate. I snuggled deep inside my new coat, and looked over at Alice. "Th.."

"Don't mention it , I don't want my sister to freeze to death." Alice said with a huge smile on her face.

"Edward I will drive so that you can hold Bella while she sleeps." She stuck her tongue out at me before I could argue that I wasn't going to sleep.

Edward hesitated at first but gave in and pulled me into his arms in the backseat of his Volvo. I think that Jasper was using his magic because before we pulled out of the parking lot, Edward and I were in the midst of a full blown make-out session. Alice cleared her throat, and I blushed furiously once we untangled ourselves. Jasper laughed hysterically which made me blush more. He must have projected his humor because we all starting cracking up.

Once we calmed down, I curled up in Edward's lap, breathing in his heavenly scent. He started humming a familiar melody, my lullaby. I was asleep within minutes. I dreamt about Edward and I getting married just like I had after he first showed back up in my life. The only difference was this time I wasn't watching all of the action, I was taking part in it.

"Bella....my beautiful Bella....Wake up. We're here." Edward's smooth voice entered my dream. My eyes fluttered open in the dark backseat.

I vaguely remember getting into Jake's car, and saying a quick hello to my dad before climbing up the stairs and passing out in my bed. In my sleep, I was aware of a cold breeze, and the embrace of familiar arms, but I was too exhausted to fully wake.

Edward woke me at seven to tell me that Charlie was going to be getting up in forty five minutes. I decided to shower, and start making a big breakfast. I needed to butter my dad up before the bomb I was about to drop. I kissed Edward goodbye before he leapt out my window. I looked outside and saw that there was at least six inches of fluffy snow on the ground. Great.

I cooked french toast, bacon, eggs, and fresh squeezed orange juice. I was sucking up big time. Charlie came down just as everything was finished.

"Smells great kid, I haven't had a good breakfast since you left." He said excitedly, while ruffling my hair.

"Maybe someday I will teach you how to cook." I said with amusement.

We ate quietly, and I tried desperately to figure out what to say. I knew I had to word my explanation carefully to keep his temper from flaring too much.

"So, Bells what has been going on since I last saw you? How is college? Make any new friends?" He asked with true curiosity. This was the opening I needed. I just needed to be careful.

"Well, Carlisle Cullen is my biology professor, the entire family is in Seattle. I recently decided to forgive Edward, and we are back together. I am still so in love with him, I think I want to marry him." I gasped and covered my mouth. What the fuck was that? Had I lost my mind? It just came flooding out of my mouth before I knew what was happening. Marry him, where did that come from? Oh boy I am in big trouble.

Marry him? Yeah, I guess that wouldn't be too bad.

**Sorry for the cliffie, but it was just the mood I was in. Lots of reviews will make me update sooner. HEHE. **


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank all of you who reviewed the last chapter, it was a great number. It made me feel a ton better after the burns I received from my flame reviews. I am sorry it has taken so long to update. I just found out that I am pregnant so I am getting more sleep than before. **

**Thanks again to my wonderful beat Brook.**

**I don't own it. **

Bella POV

"What!!?? No! I won't allow it!!! Do you not remember what he did to you? How could you let him back into your life?" Charlie was pacing, the color in his face going from red to purple. "MARRY HIM? NO NO NO. That stupid son of a bitch ruined you, you haven't been the same since. I won't allow it."

Charlie grabbed my arm and drug me to the window. Before I knew what was happening he had handcuffed me to the radiator under the kitchen window. This brought the return of angry Bella.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing? You can't tell me what to do in my life. I am an adult, and you have no right to chain me up like a damn prisoner. Let me go Charlie, or you will regret it." I yelled in Charlie's face. I was now angrier than he was. How dare he try to hold me hostage.

His face softened and he undid the cuffs, and without a word walked into the living room and slumped down on the couch. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reacted that way. I just can't understand why you would want him back in your life after he destroyed you. I guess I just don't understand. You are right, I can't do anything about it. I just want to understand."

I sighed and sat in front of him and grabbed his hands. "I'm sorry too, I didn't want to tell you that way. It sorta flew out of my mouth with no warning. I will explain as much as I can. I wasn't me without him, and he didn't mean to hurt me. He thought I would be better off. It was a stupid delusion of chivalry. It was a misunderstanding that way. They just moved to Seattle because Carlisle got a teaching position. I made him work to get me back. I wanted to just crumble right away but I made him work for it. Dad, really I am not hurt anymore. I am happy with him, and I love him and his family. Can you please just think about that. I don't expect you to be thrilled, at least not right away."

His eyes were sad but he seemed to sense how honest I was being. "What about the marriage nonsense?" He whispered in an exhausted tone.

Yeah that's, wonderful. "Well, I do feel that way, but it hasn't been discussed, and I have no idea why I blurted it out in the first place. Maybe I had to admit it out loud. I am sorry you had to be the witness to that." I really wish that my mouth hadn't runaway from me, but it is all out there now. I just hope that Edward wasn't around to hear it.

"Bella, I am really unhappy about this. I don't think I can ever forgive or forget what he did to you, how he left you that night....I just can't. I wish that you would re-think this." Charlie was deeply upset by this whole thing. I figured on the anger, but I had not planned on him being so devastated.

"Dad I understand that, and I know that it is going to be hard for you to see my side. Just take your time. I won't hold it against you. Just try and see his side, and mine. And on a happier note, Alice is dying to see you. She missed you a ton."

He smiled at the end, he truly loved Alice like another daughter, it hurt him when she left. I knew that my dad wasn't going to be okay with me being back with Edward, at least not until Edward proved worthy of my love. With Charlie that could take forever, but I knew Edward would do it.

We spent the rest of the morning discussing school, and Cheyenne. He was going to be meeting her tomorrow morning. He had high expectations, he always wished I would end up with Jake, so Cheyenne was going to have to charm him. His mood did pick up once the Cullen discussion was gone.

Finally at about one in the afternoon, I got a text message from Alice asking when to come over. "Umm...dad? Alice wants to come over and see you. Is that okay?"

He brightened at that. "Yes, I would love to see ALICE." It was obvious he meant that he only wanted to see Alice, not Edward. So I texted her back. Not five minutes later there was an exuberant knock on the door.

Charlie beat me to it. "Alice Cullen, it is so wonderful to see you. You haven't changed a bit." Charlie was overcome with joy and was squishing Alice in a tight hug. He didn't even see to notice how cold she felt.

Alice was equally happy to see Charlie. We all sat in the kitchen and talked for a good two hours like the best of friends. You would have never known that Alice had been absent for over a year. My dad was so happy with Alice around, and that seemed to crack his tough side a little.

I excused myself to use the restroom, and received a message from Alice to "take my time". I dawdled as much as I could knowing that Alice was having the tougher conversation with Charlie about the absence of their family, and the pain it had caused me. She was going to try to mollify him.

About ten minutes later, I came downstairs and the mood was much more somber. I felt awkward coming into the kitchen. Alice gave me a grave smile, and Charlie didn't even look up. I knew I had hurt him during my time as a zombie, but I didn't know that it had ran so deeply.

He perked up and cleared his throat. "Bella, why don't you call Edward, and have him and the rest of the family come over for dinner?" I looked to Alice for help with that, since they didn't eat.

"That would be wonderful! I hear that Bella makes some killer enchiladas." Alice said in her normally cheerful voice. I figured that was her way of saying okay, that they would be fine. I still wanted to know how they would hide their food.

I slipped out of the room and called Edward. He sounded excited but mostly nervous or a little scared, I am not quite sure which. To be honest I was feeling all those feelings myself. I knew Charlie wasn't going to cave today, but I hoped he could at least give Edward the benefit of the doubt. I paced back and forth in my room, and was taken by surprise when Edward came through my window.

"What are you doing, you have to come through the front door." I squeaked out, just imagining the look on my dad's face when I walked downstairs with Edward.

He shook his head and laughed. "You know, we haven't gotten a single chance to be alone together." He grabbed my arms and pulled me tightly to his body. I took in his heavenly scent and the feel of his cold hard body. He ran his hand over my head, face, down my neck, over my shoulders, ghosted the sides of my chest, and came to rest on my ass. He gave one final jerk and crushed his cold lips against mine.

Our lips moved together with passion and urgency. I felt the fire rip through my entire body. My heart was out of control, and I gasped occasionally for air. His hands roamed around my body, grabbing and caressing every inch within his reach. He had never touched me like this before, and my body reacted in ways I was unfamiliar with. Our tongues danced a violent, fast-paced dance.

With each touch and kiss, I needed more. I wanted this moment to last forever. Like all good things, it ended.

"Bella, I think they are here." Charlie yelled from downstairs.

I pulled away from Edward very reluctantly. "We'll pick up where we left off when we get home." I told him in a breathless whispers.

He gave me a sexy smirk and turned toward my window his gaze keeping the fire in my body going. "Indeed." Then he was gone.

I ran a brush through my hair, and tried desperately to clear my head. I slowly walked down the stairs just in time to hear the doorbell ring. I rushed to the door and got there at the same time that Charlie did. He gave me a weak smile that says "I give up" and opened the door.

I don't know why it knocked me breathless, but seeing all of the Cullens minus Alice all together was mind blowing. There should be a law of nature against that much beauty being in one place. My eyes finally came to rest on the most beautiful Cullen. I felt my heart skip a beat, and flushed knowing that they all had heard it.

"Hello Chief Swan, it is very nice to see you again. Please do me the honor of meeting the rest of my family. This is my wife Esme, my son Emmett, my daughte, Rosalie, my son Jasper, and of course you already know my son Edward." Carlisle extended his hand and firmly shook Charlie's.

Charlie looked as dumbstruck as I felt by all of their beauty. He managed to stutter a greeting. "Hello, yes nice to see you and nice to finally meet the rest of your family." He shook his head to clear his mind. He shook all the hands in front of him except for one...Edward's of course. Instead he grunted at him and gave him a hate filled scowl. Edward of course was still as polite as ever.

We all filled up the already too small kitchen. It felt very crowded. I began to get everything out to make enchiladas, when Alice swore out loud.

"Alice, that is impolite. Please apologize." Esme scolded her.

"I am very sorry." Alice said to everybody. She then walked over to me and whispered in my ear. "You better make a lot of food, the evening just disappeared."

I knew exactly what she meant and didn't know if I had enough food to feed Jake, but I was going to make 30 or so enchiladas just to be sure. I guess this could help hide the non-eating of the other guests.

The Cullens all sat and chatted up Charlie. He would answer on occasion, but he was still being grumpy. It wasn't until Emmett broke the ice in that area that the conversation took a turn for the worst.

"So Chief Swan, why don't you just let us have it. We know you have to be angry with us, especially little Eddie here. We know we deserve it, so give us your best shot." Emmett said in a cheerful voice. The silence that followed was tangible, and uncomfortable. I stared at the full table with horror filled eyes.

Charlie sighed. "I'm sorry about this Bella but it has to be said. Yes I am angry with all of you. I understand getting a better job, but I don't understand why a single one of didn't tell my daughter before she was left alone and heartbroken in the woods. She could have been killed. Thank God that Sam Uley found her when he did. She was destroyed! I had never seen a living person that was dead. She had no life in her for months, and even when she did come around it wasn't much. The darkness would come back every now and then, and I knew where her thoughts had taken her."

"And Edward, do you think that just leaving her and not checking on her was a good plan? Seriously, I think she could have survived better with letters, and phone calls, but she got nothing. You took what made Bella Bella and destroyed it, and I will never forgive any of you for that. If it wasn't for Jacob she would still be a zombie." He stopped and shook his head.

"Now all of a sudden you are back in her life, and it is like nothing ever went wrong. How is it that any or you deserve this kind treatment from her, how could you even ask for it? Why couldn't you just leave her alone? She was healing, and now.....if it happens again.....I don't think she will survive." Charlie's voice was pained.

I hadn't realized how little I fooled him. I thought I had spared him my pain, but instead I made him suffer alongside me. This was unfair to him, and I wish I could tell him the truth.

They all stared at him with stupid expressions, nobody expected that kind of honesty, and I could tell it really did hurt them to know what they really had done to me.

"You are right, we have no right to her forgiveness, and no right to be in her life. When we first ran into her, we offered to leave so that we didn't cause her pain...." I cut Edward off.

"I wouldn't let them dad, I couldn't have them leave when I finally had proof that they existed. I always felt like I had made it all up, but they were as real as ever. I couldn't let them go. As for my forgiveness, well, they made a mistake. They thought that the way they left was better for me, they didn't understand how much I loved them, all of them. I forgave the family easily...Edward I didn't forgive as easily." I spoke only looking at my father.

"I was the one who convinced the family to leave the way we did, so if anybody deserves the blame, it is me. I will carry that burden for the rest of my life. I didn't want to cause her pain, I just wanted her to move on with her life. I could suffer the pain of being away from her, I just wanted her to forget me. I was wrong, and I will spend my life making it up to her, and also to you." Edward's voice was thoughtful, and kind.

"Hmpf." Was Charlie's response, as he crossed his arms and hung his head in thought. The Cullens had whispered conversations. Then the doorbell rang.

"Aww, who the hell is it now." Charlie grumpily said while going to answer the door.

I heard the excited voices of Charlie, Jake, and Cheyenne. I hoped that the arrival of Jake would help soften Charlie. I knew Jake hated the vampires, but I think he respected the people. I hoped that respect would help pacify my dad.

Everybody had excited conversations, and Charlie seemed miffed that Jake didn't share his hatred, but he began to soften up just a tad. While all of this was going on, Alice helped me make the enchiladas. She made faces at all of the food. "I think it will be ok, I can't see anything of course, but it feels like it will be okay." She told me as I placed the giant pan in the oven.

We all sat around talking and catching up. It felt better, like Alice had said. I still caught Charlie glaring at Edward occasionally but I figured that would take a while to fade. The timer for dinner beeped, and I pulled out the enchiladas, and put the rice and bean on the table.

Jake, Cheyenne, Charlie and myself dug in, the Cullens each took as little as possible. It was very amusing because it seemed that the Cullens' plates were empty soon, ad Jake's plate was always full. I had to keep from laughing when I realized they were using vampire speed to give Jake their food. It was quiet and we ate. Almost all of the food was gone.

After dinner, Charlie asked Edward to have a private word on the porch. I was a little worried but Edward gave me a reassuring smile. We all went dead silent. Jasper did a running commentary of the conversation. He also was projecting emotions of love, trust, and friendship. It was hitting all of us too. I was a little embarrassed at the fatherly lecture, but it meant that Charlie was coming around enough to give Edward all of his warnings. I was even more humiliated when Charlie started talking about marriage, and how that if that wasn't what Edward wanted, then he needed to make that clear. Everybody gave me knowing looks, and Alice giggled. They knew.

After the conversation was over, I gave everybody a tour of the house. Cheyenne really like it, even Rose seemed into it, and of course Emse was giving remodeling suggestions. To my surprise, Charlie agreed with her on that. He would want to remodel now that I had moved out. Silly old man.

We all ended the tour in the living room. Charlie put in Underworld: Rise of the Lycans for us all to watch. There was a lot of sniggering at his choice of a vampire and werewolf movie considering the present company. Throughout the movie, there were scoffs of disbelief from the vampires, and the one werewolf. They didn't appreciate Hollywood's misinterpretations. I cuddled with Edward, and Charlie seemed upset for only a few minutes. I think he saw that I was happy, and that made him happy.

At midnight the Cullen's, Jake and Cheyenne headed home. I showered, and came went to my room. I found my personal god already in place. I curled up with him, and he hummed in my ear.

"So, he cuffed you to the radiator." He said with a breathless laugh.

"Yeah, Alice saw that, and you didn't rescue me." I giggled back.

"Yeah, she said it was short lived, and humorous, so I let it be." He answered while gently kissing my lips.

He pulled me back to his chest, and began humming again, before I knew it I was asleep. I dreamt about weddings, and of course honeymoons. I was in a state of bliss.

I woke up early, and Edward went home. I packed my stuff, and made Charlie and I breakfast. We sat and ate our pancakes in silence. It was only when I was doing dishes that Charlie finally spoke.

"Bella, I don't like it, I don't get it, but I will learn to live with it. That is all your getting for now. Promise me you won't be foolish enough to put yourself in the position to be hurt again." He said in one breath.

"Thanks dad, I understand. It was hard for me at first too. I will be fine. Thanks for caring and worrying though, I appreciate it." I told him while hugging him tightly.

"Oh yeah and Bells, Jake and Rosalie were here earlier, they fixed your truck. That girl is quite the mechanic she managed to confuse Jake a few times." He told me with awe filling his voice.

I was so happy, I had missed my truck. It figures that all it needed was Rosalie's touch; she really is a car genius.

I packed up the truck, and told my dad goodbye. I was going to pick Edward up on my way, but I needed to stop for gas and coffee first. I pulled into the gas station, and filled up the truck and then went inside to get my coffee and pay. It was a cold day so the warm little store felt great, and the smell of pastry and coffee was wonderful.

I finally payed and walked slowly out to my truck. Just as I was opening the door everything went black. I felt myself being lifted, and then thrown on a hard surface. I then heard the slam of what could only be a van door. As soon as I could think, I realized that I was being kidnapped. Just great! I pulled the hood off and looked around desperately for some way to escape, or at least to be able to be rescued.

My heart was racing and I was scared. I needed to make sure that Edward could find me but how? My brain stared working, and the fear was replaced by adrenaline. My plan formed, and I started acting.

"Please Edward, find me." I whispered. If he didn't, who knows what could happen to me, and the thought made me sick.

**Sorry for the Cliffie, but it has a great point, you will see later. Tell me what you think. **


	21. Chapter 21

I didn't want to get your hopes up by adding another note but I am getting a lot of inquiries. Pregnancy isn't suiting me well, I am sick all the time so I don't have the energy or ability to sit and write. I am getting a little better. I will try to update after new years. I am sooooo sorry please don't hate me, I just spend a lot of time puking. I hope you all had a great Christmas and have a great new year.


End file.
